Crash Into My Arms

The atmosphere of the world today was grim. Outside the Church; Droplets of water fell from the heavens from dark grey rainclouds in a heavy shower. I pulled the black veil further down across my face, little droplets of water getting stuck in the eyelets of the netting.

My mascara streaked down my face, trailing down my jaw line and neck as I entered the church; Taking my seat in a pew up front with Gerard's family, and eventually soaking into the fabric of the black corseted dress that I wore. Mikey, who sat beside me; squeezed my hand in comfort.

A black wooden casket with a polished finish lay before us up on the platform. Gerard was inside that casket, laying peacefully. At the Wake beforehand; the funeral parlour had done a wonderful job of making him up to look like he was just enjoying a peaceful slumber. They'd even fitted a black wig to his head to hide any sign that he had ever had Cancer and lost all his hair.

Donna Way stood up to the podium beside Gerard's coffin. She cleared her throat, and spoke; "It is every parent's worst nightmare to have to bury his or her own child. Parents are by default, meant to die before them. But a tragic illness claimed the life of my Son before his time." She paused for a moment before continuing; "Gerard Arthur Way was born on Sunday, April 9th, 1977, at 8:48am. He was my first born child, and Donald and I had a whole life planned out for him. My Husband was a hardworking man, and we were already putting money into a jar atop our refrigerator, which was to go toward sending our baby boy to whichever University he so desired later in life." She played with her lips for a few moments, and spoke again; "From an early age, my Mother; Elena, would always encourage Gerard if she saw he had a talent for something. We found he had a gift for singing, and those of you who were lucky enough to have heard him sing, you would have known how beautiful his voice was." She had to stop for a moment to swallow against the lump in her throat to prevent herself from crying. "I can't understand why a person with so much potential should have to suffer such a tragic, early death. I can only take comfort in knowing that he is now in a better place, and no longer in pain." She sniffled. "Gerard, I love you, my Baby Boy. Rest in peace, Sweetheart." She finished, stepping down and reclaiming her seat on the other side of Mikey in the front pew.

Donald stood up to the podium; "Gerard was my first born Son, I still remember the day he was born. I remember his first words, first steps, the first drawing he handed to me, the first time he picked up a guitar." He cleared his throat, and spoke again. "I remember teaching him to drive, how to shave, how tie a tie. I remember watching him sing in our church choir, how proud I was of him." He paused. "He died way too soon, and much too young." He sniffled, and a few tears rolled down his face. "But as my Wife said before me, I can take comfort in knowing he is no longer in pain, and is at peace." He took a deep breath. "Goodbye, my Son."

Mikey got up from beside me, and took his turn to speak; "Gerard and I had a bond like no other, he wasn't just my Brother, he was my Best Friend. As children, the two of us only really had each other to turn to, and he was the one I spent the most time with when I couldn't go outside. We used to draw together, sing together, and spend countless hours watching horror flicks and reading comic books." He looked around the room, and continued. "He had a way of seeing beauty in everything, he even saw beauty where others didn't, such as in death and darkness. But even with his fascination with the macabre, Gerard had so much life. He felt things differently to most, on a much deeper level. He saw the strength, the good in people." Mikey looked down at me. "Even in those who didn't see it in themselves." He smiled. "He was my role model, and I hope I can carry on in my life, seeing the world through his eyes and finding beauty where it's not necessarily visible at first glance." He looked over at the Coffin. "So long and goodnight, my Brother, I love you."

I swallowed hard, and stood; It was my turn. As Mikey took his seat in the front pew again, I hugged the black manila folder I held tightly to my chest, and stepped up to the podium; "I had written a speech, more than one." I chuckled. "But none of them seemed to fit quite right." I sniffled, feeling a couple of lone tears roll down my face. "But I will say this; Before Gerard got here, I had no faith in myself, I'd given up on my life and was on the verge of suicide." I looked down to see Donna's hand fly to her heart, a look of shock on her face. "Gerard showed me a kindness I hadn't known since the death of my dear friend, almost Grandmother; Fran. A Kindness I had been sorely lacking in my life since the death of my Father at the age of Fifteen." I swallowed, fighting the lump in my throat. "Gerard and I had a different language, one that we always shared, and I know..." I sighed. "I know that that's the language he'd want me to share with all of you here today."

I picked up the manila folder and walked to the black grand piano that stood by the window, taking my seat on the stool in front of it. I set the folder upon the stand and opened it, pulling the sheet music out of it and setting it out in order. My hands found the shape of the chords, and I felt warmth on my back as the clouds broke and the sun shone in through the stained glass window behind me.

A weak smile spread across my face. "Hello, Gerard." I whispered, and began to play;

NOTE: Copy and paste the link below into a new tab and play the song as you read the next part!
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqzxCoYDMIk

"Are you swimming upstream in oceans of blue? Do you feel like your sinking? Are you sick of the rain after all you've been through? Well I know what you're thinking. When you can't take it, you can make it, sometime soon I know you'll see..."

I drew in a deep breath, and sang the Chorus;

"Cause when your in you're darkest hour, and all of the light just fades away, when you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray, well hang on and be strong."

I sniffled as I felt the tears begin to roll down my face, but never stopped singing;

"We're taking each step one day at a time, you can't loose your spirit, let live and let live, forget and forgive, it's all how you see it, and just remember keep it together, don't you know you're never alone."

The Chorus came up again, and I put more strength into my voice;

"Cause when you're in your darkest hour, and all of the light just fades away, when you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray, well hang on, and be strong."

I closed my eyes, and put everything I had into the bridge;

"No you're not defeated, and soon you'll be smiling once again, then you won't have to feel it, let it go with the wind, time passes us by, and know that you're aloud to cry."

I drew in a deep breath, and sang the last Chorus, pushing through the tears and fighting against the lump in my throat; refusing to let the hurt and sorrow get the better of me. I had to do this, for him. It'd been his dying wish for me to learn this song;

"Cause when you're in your darkest hour, and all of the light just fades away, when you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray, well hang on, whoa, and be strong... Hang on, hang on, and be strong..."

I took in one last deep breath, and finished;

"Hold on, and be strong..."

I let out a breathy laugh, mixed with a sigh; feeling accomplished and proud of myself for carrying out Gerard's last request. Applause filled the room and I looked up to see everyone in the pews standing; smiles on their faces, even a few tears. I caught sight of Mikey; A warm, proud smile adorned his features.

"Gerard would be proud." He mouthed to me...

***

The sun was warm and bright as I stepped outside of the Church. The clouds were nowhere to be seen, as if it had never been raining. Gerard's extended family congregated on the front lawn, offering their condolences and giving each other comforting hugs.

I spotted the group nearby; Mikey, Alicia, Ray, Krista, and Matt. The boys in suits and the girls in pretty little black dresses; Alicia almost looking like a Vampire in hers thanks to her pale skin. I approached them and Krista wrapped me up in a tight hug.

"You were sooo good in there!" She exclaimed.
"Thank you." I smiled.
Matt clapped a hand upon my shoulder. "You did him proud in there." He smiled.
Ray hugged me, patting my back, before drawing away. "You really did." He agreed.
Alicia approached me, wrapping me up in a hug of her own. "Your voice is really beautiful, I felt every word." She whispered into my ear, before drawing away.
Mikey stepped up beside Alicia. "I know he's up there, smiling down at you, Miz." He smiled.

A warm breeze blew over me, making my hair flutter. It only seemed to effect me though, not hitting the others around me. I caught a hint of something in the air; The sweet smell of homemade Coffee. His smell. My heart sped up as I felt a familiar presence.

"Gerard." I whispered.
"I love you." A soft voice spoke.

The wind died down and I smiled.

He was here, he'd never left. His spirit remained, and I could feel how proud he was of me...