Crash Into My Arms

The sun was warm on my back as I knelt down to place a single red rose at the foot of Gerard's headstone. It'd been three months since his death, Christmas had come and gone, and New Years Eve was right around the corner. I'd moved in with the Ways, taking up residence in Gerard's old room.

I'd left everything the way it was when he passed, using his bedroom furniture as my own, leaving my own bedroom suite at Mama's. His old drawings still hung on the walls, his guitar remained in the corner, now accompanied by my own right beside it. His scent still lingered in the Batman plushie he used to sleep with, which I kept on the corner of the bed, right by where I'd rest my head on the pillows.

Donna had legally adopted me, and in edition to taking up the family name, I'd also taken up a middle name. I was now known as Miseria Gerardina Way. I'd added Gerardina to commemorate Gerard's life. I still referred to Donna and Donald by their first names rather than Mom and Dad, but I now referred to Mikey as my little brother.

"I miss you, Baby." I smiled, straightening up. "If you were still here, I guess me calling you Baby would seem strange, because technically, we'd be Brother and Sister now." I chuckled to myself. "But then again, I would've wound up with your last name either way, because I wanted to marry you one day."

I went silent again for a few moments, gazing upon his headstone, reading the words engraved into it;



"I hope you and Elena have been reunited, and that you're telling her all about me. I hope you're drawing together and singing together, just like you did when you were a little boy." I smiled, remembering the sparkle in his eyes and the sound of his voice. "I will always cherish your memory, thank you for giving me my life back, and I will go on, I will love again, just as I promised you I would." A single lone tear rolled down my cheek. "I love you so much, Gerard."

I turned to leave, when the same warm breeze with it's comforting presence and the scent of homemade Coffee blew over me. I smiled and closed my eyes, knowing it was him.

"I love you, Miseria." I heard his voice whisper in my ear.
"I know." I whispered back.

The breeze died down and I made my way to another area of the graveyard. Gerard's wasn't the only headstone I wanted to visit today. I had a guitar bag slung over my back, but it was a brand new guitar, given to me by Donna and Donald for Christmas.

A beautiful frosted pink Acoustic with a heart-shaped soundhole. It was a scaled down, 3/4 size to accommodate to my small stature, and my initials M-G-W were inlaid in silver upon the fretboard. It played like a dream, and I'd already written a few songs with it.

I stopped in front of my Father's grave, pulling the straps of the guitar bag off my shoulders and settling myself down in front of the headstone. “I had something to show you, Daddy, I think you’ll like it.” I smiled, unzipping the bag and pulling the guitar; which I had named Melody Rose, out of the bag.

My hands found the familiar chords, and I began to play;

“She’s the spitting image of me, she has my eyes, she has my hair, it’s going to take me awhile to believe, that her mother and I created her, she is just so perfect, better than I imagined, my little baby girl…

Daddy's little girl, you're so beautiful, daddy's little girl, you have so much potential, so keep your head held high, and strive for your dreams, and know you'll always be, my little princess …

She’s grown up so beautifully, she’s shown me she can sing, her face lights up as I teach her to play guitar, and every afternoon at the piano with me, as I think of all the possibilities of what she could be…

Daddy's little girl, you're so beautiful, daddy's little girl, you have so much potential, so keep your head held high, and strive for your dreams, and know you'll always be my little princess…

Doc gave me the bad news today, I won’t be able to be there for my baby, when she grows up, I’ll be long, long gone, but I hope that she will play this song, and I can watch her from above…

Daddy's little girl, you're so beautiful, daddy's little girl, you have so much potential, so keep your head held high, and strive for your dreams, and know you'll always be, my little princess…

Daddy's little girl, you're so beautiful, daddy's little girl, you have so much potential, so keep your head held high, and strive for your dreams, and know you'll always be, my little princess…”

I let out a content sigh as I finished playing, and kissed my hand and touched it to Dad's headstone. “I love you Daddy, I miss you. I’ve been pretty messed up for quite some time, but I think everything will be okay now. I met someone wonderful who gave me life again, but he sadly passed away a short time ago. You might know him, Daddy, his name’s Gerard, he’s up there with you in Heaven now. If you see him, say hello for me, and tell him I love him.”

I sat quietly for a few more moments, just looking at Dad's headstone, trying to imagine him standing right in front of me, smiling down at me. When I decided I had stayed long enough, I put Melody away and got to my feet, slinging the guitar bag back over my shoulder.

A familiar boy with curly blonde hair stood in front of another headstone a few rows ahead, and I approached him. "Max?"
He looked up at me, his eyes filled with tears.
"What happened? Who are you here for?" I asked, genuinely concerned.
He didn't answer, instead, he pointed at the headstone in front of him.

I turned around and read the engraving;



"Oh my god." I removed my guitar bag from my back and let it drop to the ground, throwing my arms around Max and pulling him close. "Max, I'm so sorry."
He wept onto my shoulder, his tears sinking in and soaking the fabric of my top, but I didn't care.
"Shh, it's okay." I whispered, rubbing his back soothingly.
Several moments passed before he calmed down and drew back to wipe his eyes.
"When?" I asked.
"About a month ago now."
"What happened?"
"Breast Cancer, she'd fought it for years, but I guess her time just ran out." He swallowed hard, trying to prevent himself from crying again.
"She always was a strong woman." I mused. "You know she fought as hard as she could, Max."
He nodded.
"She was Rose-Motherfucking-Tyler, the most badass Grandma there ever was." I giggled. "She wouldn't have gone down without a fight."
He laughed, sniffing back tears. "She loved you, you know." He said. "Like you were her own Grandaughter."
"I know." I nodded, smiling.
"And I'm sorry." He sighed.
"For what?"
"For calling you heartless." He frowned. "I know you loved Gerard."
"I appreciate the apology, but it's really not necessary." I placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it for a moment, before letting my arm drop.
"You were with him right to the very end, weren't you?"
I nodded.
"I imagine it would've been difficult." He said. "Watching him wither away."
"I wouldn't have had it any other way." I confessed. "I'm glad I was able to stay with him until it was over."
Max gave me a look of utmost sympathy. "I can't imagine what it must be like to watch the one you love pass, watching Grandma pass was horrible, but your case is different."
I shook my head. "It's okay. He's not gone, not really." I smiled. "He's still there, in the sound of music, he's in the smell of coffee, the wind, and the warmth of the sun."
"That's a good way to look at it." Max smiled.
"He's everywhere, he never left."

And he was everywhere, his memory lived on all around me, and inside of me. He was the one who had saved my life, and I was determined to live until I was old and grey, because he never got to. If ever a time came once again where I found myself giving up on life, I would remember what he taught me.

Even though he was dead and gone, his memory would always carry on...