Crash Into My Arms

I sat in Math, once again unable to concentrate on my work. Now I was alone, my thoughts were tormenting me again. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, and pulled it out. The screen displayed that I had 1 new message.

Hiya, stalker. :P

I scowled; they just never gave up.

Delete my number, Amber.

I hit the send button, and put my phone back in my pocket. I heard a snigger from the corner of the room, and looked over to see Amber and Melanie; two former friends of mine, laughing at the message I’d just sent Amber. I turned away, not wanting to look at them a second longer, it hurt too much.

We used to be best friends, just over a few years ago. We slept over each others houses constantly, talked on the phone every day, and each Friday, we’d go to the local pub with my Mum for karaoke. That’s where I met Sky Masters.

He was a talented singer, from a Tongan/Filipino heritage, and extremely good looking. I’d fallen for him almost instantly, and had made sure I never missed a single Friday Night Karaoke so I could see him. The two of us started to become friends, but little did he know, I was madly in love with him.

I went overboard; I became obsessed with him and had about a million photos of him on my bedroom wall that I stole from his MySpace. I was working on a story about the two of us; a love story, which sometimes went a little too far. I even wore an S pendant around my neck just because it was his initial.

In the middle of the year; I went away on tour with Newark High’s School Band. A ten day trip to Canada; performing at primary schools. I was alone on tour, as nobody in the band was really my friend, and the only person in the band I even spoke to, hadn’t been able to come because his mother couldn’t afford to pay for him.

I missed my friends like crazy; I missed Sky like crazy, and couldn’t wait to get home. At last, the tour came to an end, and I was excited for the following Friday, ecstatic that I was going to see Sky, and Amber, and Melanie again.

But when Friday came, there was no warm welcome home. Amber and Melanie had told Sky everything, and he rejected the gift I’d bought him while I was away, telling me to stay the hell away from him, and never wanted to see me again.

The girls laughed at me as I sat at my table alone with my mother, crying my eyes out. Eventually, Mum got fed up, and despite my pleading with her to just wait till midnight, when the kids would have to leave, just to see if I could smooth things over with Sky, she made me leave.

I got a text from Amber when I got home;

Suck shit, skank :P

Another text two minutes later, from Sky.

Keep your distance, and I won’t get a restraining order. Delete my number, delete me off MySpace, get rid of my photos, and get rid of your disgusting story. I don’t want to see you anywhere near me ever again. Don’t come back to Karaoke, I’ll get you kicked out. Goodbye, stalker.

The message made me break down in tears, and I cried myself to sleep. I woke up the next morning, and after trying for ten minutes to think of a reason to get up out of bed, I hauled myself up. I had to delete Sky off MySpace, and get rid of my story and photos.

Before I deleted him off MySpace, I sent him a message;

Sky, I’m really, really sorry. I honestly don’t know what I can do to make it right; I know I shouldn’t have stolen all your pics, that was wrong. But the story, that was just my outlet, I knew I couldn’t be with you because you weren’t interested in me, so I let out my feelings for you in writing.

Look, I know you hate me, and that you never want to speak to me again, but before I delete you from my friends list, I want to say thank you.

A little over a year ago, I fell for a guy, and he went out with my best friend. I fought for him, until the two of them broke up because of it, and he hated me for it. I was shattered, and for a long time I lost faith in myself, in life, in everything. But then I met you. You gave me hope; you made me believe in myself again, I survived, because of you.

And I know this is goodbye, but before I go, I want to say what I never had the chance to say to you face to face,

I love you

Goodbye…

- Missy xoxo

Just after I sent the message, my eyes caught sight of a blog that Sky had posted, and I clicked on the link;

THE GIRL WHO STALKED ME
Miseria Cantare, a girl who attends Newark High School, Aged 15, stalked me.

At first, I was nice to her, letting her have the occasional photo with me. But one day, while looking through her MySpace, saw that she had about 20 pictures of me singing at Karaoke, taken without my permission. I confronted her about it, and she apologized, and I forgave her, that time.

But then Miseria went behind my back and started to post all the photos of herself with me onto another MySpace account she had set up, and stole photos from my MySpace, and wrote love notes all over them, making us look a like a COUPLE.

I was informed of this “Secret MySpace” as she had called it, by a friend of hers. The friend also told me that Miseria was writing a love story about us, which included scenes where we had sex. If that wasn’t creepy enough, the girl had a SHRINE of me on her bedroom wall, which consisted of photos she had stolen from my MySpace account and printed out.

I have since forbidden her to talk to me, and have asked her to remove all the photos of me from her “Secret MySpace” and from her bedroom wall. I have also asked that she discontinue writing the love story, as it is disturbing and inappropriate.

If you see this girl taking photos of me, or see any photos of me that she has posted online, I advise that you either tell her to stop posting the photos yourself, or notify me and I will inform the police, thank you :)

Tears streaming down my face and suicidal thoughts in my mind, it only took me a second to delete Sky. I was extremely hurt by the blog post. He had made me sound like a crazy lunatic stalker, when really; I was just a love struck teenager. I huffed angrily; the guy wanted to be a famous RnB singer, he would get much worse than me in the future. Fangirls could get pretty creepy.

I didn’t leave my room all weekend, I stayed curled up in bed, crying my eyes out, barely eating, and only getting up to go to the bathroom. Monday came, and I went to school, miserable and unable to concentrate on my work. But then people started to call me “Stalker.” as they passed me in the hallways.

How the hell do they know? I wondered, nobody from school had Sky’s MySpace.

But then I spotted Amber and Melanie handing out pieces of paper, and someone threw a paper ball at me. I picked it up and unscrunched it, to find that it was Sky’s story; THE GIRL WHO STALKED ME
Amber and Melanie were handing it out around the school.

The day progressed, and the torment continued. Max passed me, pushing me into the wall.

“Did it again huh? You just don’t know when to quit, do you?” he smirked. “STALKER!” he yelled, pointing at me.

Others joined in, all pointing at me, laughing, a chorus of “STALKER! STALKER! STALKER!”

I hung my head as tears began to pour from my eyes, and ran for it. I ran out of the school grounds, and kept running until I reached the local shopping centre. I’d never wagged school before, and was really paranoid, but made it home without being caught, and the school, thankfully, didn’t ring.

That night, I began to cut again. I’d never felt so alone in my life, my two best friends in the whole world had betrayed me, and the guy I loved now hated me. I’d get over Sky in time, I knew that, but I was hurting, and I had nobody to talk to. I was alone, a girl with no true friends, no shoulders to cry on, no emotional support.

After that, I never went to school; I’d spend my days roaming around the park listening to music and reading. I couldn’t face school, couldn’t handle the torment. I knew I deserved it, all of it; I was the one who had fucked up. One day, I discovered the youth centre, and had started going there quite often to use their computers.

I quit School Band, as I was sick of the torment, and knew I was unreliable and never showed up to practice since everything happened. I was tired of it, the whole school thought I couldn’t sing, and I hated the shitty songs they played anyway, I was into heavy metal, not fucking bluesy shit.

One day when I was coming home from school, Fran was in her front yard gardening. She called me over, and told me she’d seen me, and knew that I hadn’t been to school lately. I told her I was too depressed to go, and she invited me inside for some Coffee, and I explained everything to her.

From then on, I stayed over Jeph and Fran’s place a lot, and they became like my Grandparents. They let me use their house as a crash pad when I didn’t go to school, promising they wouldn’t say a word to my mother, and told me they’d rather I spent my days at their place instead of roaming around aimlessly, at the risk of being abducted. Newark wasn’t a safe place for a 15 year old girl to be roaming around alone.

Time went by, and suddenly, Fran became very ill. To the point where most of my days off school were spent helping Jeph look after her. She was 80, and her body was finally starting to wear out. Unfortunately, one day my mother dropped by to help out, and caught me at the house. She yelled at me for not being at school, but Jeph covered for me and told her he’d asked me to help him look after Fran.

Six months later, Fran died. It was peaceful, she passed in her sleep, but it was me that discovered her that morning. After giving me a month to grieve, Mum went over and told Jeph that I was no longer allowed to spend my days at the house, and so I was back out on the streets again during school hours. Not long after that, Jeph sold the house, and moved away.

I was alone again, and for the last year, the depression had grown. Obviously, I’d started to go to school a little more, but even then, it was very rare that I’d do any work, or stay for more than two lessons. I was only going to keep Mum off my back, and she didn’t know I only went for two lessons a day, and my payments wouldn’t be cut off just as long as I made an appearance at school a couple of times a week.

That’s all Mum really gave a shit about. She couldn’t care less about what was going on inside my head, inside my heart. She didn’t believe that I was depressed, in her mind; it was just an excuse, just me finding any reason not to go to school. Money; that’s all she cared about, Money. Keeping the house, paying the bills, it was my money that paid for it all, hence why she took half my payment every fortnight.

And what did Mum do with the money she was paid? Spent it on alcohol. My Mum was an alcoholic, though she would deny it till she was black and blue in the face. If that wasn’t bad enough, her boyfriend was abusive, and despite my attempts to talk her into leaving him, she never would. She said she loved him too much, but I knew it was just the sex.

Burke was an Englishman, and had one hell of a nasty temper, I’d seen Mum’s bruises. He had threatened me 3 times, but Mum had always turned around and said it was my fault, and said that I was only reacting to it the way I was because I "Couldn’t handle authority”

I watched as the rain slowly eased, and the clouds parted, remembering the events of the last few years, and then the sun began to shine, and my attention snapped to the classroom door as it opened. A boy in a leather jacket and Green Day t-shirt poked his head around the door.

“This Mrs. Hansen’s Math class?” he asked.
“Yes.” She said, walking over to the door.
“I’m a new student here.” He smiled, holding his hand out to shake hers.
She stared down at him, surveying his messy black hair, the way he dressed. “Why are you late?” she asked, not bothering to shake his hand.
“I was in the principal’s office.”
“Troublemaker.” She sighed. “Just take a seat next to Cantare, I’m sure the two of you will get along.”

“Yeah, cuz they’re both Emo!” one of the boys called from the other side of the classroom.

“Look who’s getting so ‘Emotional’ about the way I dress.” he laughed as he crossed the classroom, coming towards my desk.

I laughed; that was my comeback, but I’d never said it in front of him before, so he hadn’t gotten it from me. He sat down in the empty seat next to me.

“Hello angel.” He smiled.

He was so beautiful, and I couldn’t help but blush a little as I smiled back. “Hi Gee.”