Please Don't Cross Me, I Asked Nicely

I gazed with such intensity at Rose as Nick's arm wrapped around her. Why did couldn't that have been me instead?

I buried my head in slight annoyance at the sight of the couple that I so desperately wanted to be. I knew I'd bought Rose and Nick's trust. Now, all I had to do was get everyone else's.

I stared at the black skirt, blue boots, and shirt I was wearing in disgust. I didn't realize how much influence they'd had on me. My skirt was actually at a decent length instead of the short ones I'd usually worn, but Denise had bought me for Christmas at the last moment when we went out shopping today, but I ignored the matter somehow pleasing her when I wore it today. Even then, a warm feeling went through me, just a tiny one.

This being “nice” thing was starting to get to me. I'd spent a whole MONTH trying to think of a way to break Rose and Nick up, but NOTHING seemed to keep them apart. Hmm... I did almost get kissed by Nick a few days ago.... Maybe if I keep up this “good girl” charade a little bit longer, then Nick will be mine!

I unpacked the gifts I'd bought Dad and began wrapping them when Joe entered the room. He'd been following me like a hawk ever since I've been around them a few days previously. Ugh. I wish he'd get a life.

I pretended not to notice him until he spoke.

“Glaring isn't very nice, Vic”, he said in a cold tone.

“Glaring? At who?” I asked in an innocent tone.

“You know who I'm talking about. Cut the crap”, he said through gritted teeth.

We were currently in another room, but could clearly see Nick, Rose, and their friends in the living room as they all went to sit and chat to catch up.

“No, I don't”, I said with a slight attitude, standing as I placed my hands on my hips. “What's this about, anyway?” I asked as though I didn't know.

“It's so obvious you're jealous of Rose, so, cut it out! You can't and won't break up she and Nick!” he exclaimed in a low tone.

“How dare you think that I, Rose's sister would even think of doing such a thing?” I asked heatedly. I wish I could smile at him right now.

“Look, if you try even one thing to break them up, I'll tell everyone how you've been acting when no one sees you”, he threatened.

“You're full of crap, Jonas. Do you honestly think that I would even do that to my sister, let alone, your brother? I see that Nick and Rose are happy together and I'm happy for them, too. Why can't you see that I've changed into a better person?” I asked, giving my best sad look. I should be an actress.

He sighed before speaking, but didn't change his expression.

“I'm warning you, Vic. Stay out of Rose and Nick's relationship. They don't need you screwing things up for them”, he said coldly before walking away from me, joining the gang, Rose, and Nick in the living room.

I went back to what I was doing before, but became infuriated with myself and soon enough began tearing the wrapping paper up. I wanted Nick to be my boyfriend. He was everything a girl would and could want and more! I'm pretty sure he and Rose haven't had sex yet, but I could take that away from him. It wouldn't be the first time I've stolen someone else's virginity or boyfriend.

But how could it be done? With New Year's coming up, how could I break Nick and Rose up without it being obvious to Joe or anyone? Think, Victoria, think.

I looked at the mess I had made and threw it away, a sudden idea coming to me. Maybe... I could change, just enough to make everyone believe I actually changed for the better.

That'll show them.

“What the hell was that?” Mel asked, scaring the crap out of me.

I saw her at the door now where Joe stood earlier with her arms folded across her chest. She was wearing a long-sleeve, beige sweater, white skirt, and beige boots. She closed the door behind her, scaring me more by the second. There was no smile on her lips and the tension was thick in the air.

“What was what?” I asked timidly.

I really was scared this time. Mel had never confronted me before since that day she humiliated me in front of my friends. I'd heard that she wanted to kick my ass and judging by the look on her face now, it was clear that she wanted to with everything in her.

Her arms were tightly crossed across her chest as she gave me a hard look.

“I saw you talking to Joe and he looked angry”, she said in a monotone, but there was a slight anger to it.

“Yeah, he was over-reacting about something. No big. I think it was about the gifts or something. You know how I hit him with that snowball earlier”, I lied easily.

Mel's brows furrowed as she just stared at me. I couldn't tell if she was contemplating on whether or not I was lying or if she wanted to hit me or both.

“It wasn't about a damn snowball. Joe would have said something sooner”, she said in the previous tone, glaring at me.

“Look, if you don't believe me, then just ask him yourself”, I said, immediately kicking myself mentally for suggesting the matter.

“I don't need to ask him. I know Joe better than anyone”, she retorted heatedly.

“Whatever. I don't see how you know him if the two of you barely talk to one another”, I said, knowing I hit a nerve as I saw her bite the inside of her lower lip.

“Of course you don't know anything. And you'll never know anything because no one will ever trust you enough to tell you anything, especially not after the stuff you've put Nick and especially Rose through”, she answered in the same tone as I did.

I felt a pang hit my heart. She struck a nerve in me, too.

“And just what did Rose say I did to her? I know the things I did to her in the past were wrong, but we're past that-”, I tried, but Mel wasn't buying it.

“Bullshit, Victoria. Bull shit”, she ended before turning away from me, storming out of the room.

I watched her leave as her words hit me.

No one truly understood why I envied my sister. Rose always got everything she wanted. The best boyfriends, people who cared about her even when she didn't do anything to them, but what did I ever get? Nothing but high on the social ladder.

I didn't want popularity. I wanted people who cared about me and the things I need, not what they expect me to do. I wanted to be free like a bird. Free to be who I wanted to be. I wanted to be loved like Rose always had from everyone.

I wanted to be mysterious instead of a social butterfly. I wanted to be reserved like her. A horrible thought came to me. I wanted to be Rose.

Tears filled my eyes as I ran to the bathroom, shrinking into a corner as I cried my eyes out. I wanted to be loved..for me.

I didn't want to be this horrible person, the person everyone hated or disliked. I wanted friends like Rose. Why couldn't things be like that for me? Why couldn't I really change?

The answer didn't come to me, not even when a sudden knock sounded at the door. I stood up, wiping my tears away, opening the door as I saw someone I didn't expect to see.

“I-I heard you crying in there. What's wrong?” he asked.

“W-well, y-you're w-w-wrong”, I got out, sniffing as I wiped my tears away. I'd just realized he was carrying a tray with some food on it.

“You'd been in there a while”, he said, bringing me out of my thoughts and clearly ignoring my previous statement, “everyone thought someone should check on you.”

His tone wasn't comforting, yet it wasn't cold like it used to be a few months previously and I was grateful. I stared at his brown orbs as they met my blue ones before breaking the stare to look at the turkey and cheese sandwich, some grapes, and a glass of orange juice on the tray, my stomach growling at the sight of it.

“Uh, here”, Nick said in a monotone with a hint of nervousness. What would he be nervous about?

It dawned on me that he was nervous because he was just standing there.

“Oh”, I said, taking the tray from him mumbling “thank you” as I shut the door on him.

I'd expected him to go away at first, but his voice startled me soon after I'd closed the door.

“If you need someone to talk to, I'm here”, he said, only audible for me to hear him.

My heart leaped in joy as I saw the silver lining. I'd found my opening thanks to him. This was going to be so much fun.