Please Don't Cross Me, I Asked Nicely

Apparently I’d had a heart attack, a small one.

I only found this out by the smell of the hospital and the cheering from Mel and Joe and the others in the room with me.

I ignored everything they said to me only responding when they asked me things.

I couldn’t believe what happened. I had passed out due to a nervous breakdown, basically.

What’s sad, though is that Nick kept his distance which I’m assuming is what the doctors told him to do.

It was currently now Wednesday and I was still out of it, emotionally.

I sat in my room (the guestroom at the Jonas’ in which I shared with Mel and Jake), staring at the ceiling as I laid down on my bed feeling Mel and Jake’s gazes on me.

“What?” I asked.

“You can’t just sit and mope in our room. We have to see them in two days”, Mel replied.

The usual tears filled my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall. Instead, the lyrics to a song came to me and I sat up abruptly, startling them.

I ran to one of the dresser drawers, pulling out a pen and paper as the song came to me in bits and pieces.

“What is she doing?” Mel asked in confusion, but I know Jake knew.

“She’s expressing how she feels”, he answered softly as they watched me work.

I wrote down everything I was feeling. Whenever I was upset, a song would usually come to me, depending on how much the “it” affects me. When it’s this bad, I write, other times, I just mope or mourn, but this wasn’t a death. It was just the end to a relationship as much as I didn’t want it to be.

Two hours later, I sighed with content.

“Finished”, I breathed in exhaustion, feeling ten times lighter than I did in the last few months.

Mel and Jake walked over to me, reading what I wrote.

“Oh, wow”, Jake said in awe.

“You should sing it, Rose”, Mel coaxed gently.

“But it’s about Nick. I don’t want to embarrass him and-”, I began, but Mel hit my arm hard.

“Stop thinking about his well-being, Rose! I’m tired of holding it in anymore! You will not sit here and dump on yourself while thinking about your actions and how they might affect that boy”, she strained angrily, her hands on my shoulders as she shook me lightly.

“I’m sick of seeing you like this, so you will perform that song and you will do it with pride! Not for us, not for Nick or anyone else, but for you. I’ve watched you this year and I know how much you love to sing. You need to do this”, she concluded, removing her hands.

“I agree. You haven’t sung anyone a song since almost two years ago”, Jake added, folding his arms across his chest.

“But-”, I began, but they cut across me.

“No buts! Just do it!” they said in unison, shocking me.

I sat and thought for a minute. I didn’t want to, but I knew I had to. Mel and Jake were right. If I didn’t do this for anyone, I should at least do it for me.

“Alright. I’ll do it”, I said confidently.

They both cheered, then hugged me, Jake handing me my phone. I quickly dialed one person to tell them in advance.

“Hey, Mrs. Thorne. It’s Rosalina. I changed my mind. Do you have a spot open for me for Friday?” I asked, smiling even brighter when she replied me with a “yes”.
…

Friday night came and I was a nervous wreck. We were back at the school, but of course, had avoided them as much as possible but I was starting to get sick of it. I’d realized how immature it was and even didn’t object when Vic asked if we wanted to walk down with she and Nick.

I was dressed in this. Mel wore an outfit similar to mine except she wore her black Converses and a black shirt. My hair wasn’t in the curls anymore, but was straight and parted to the right as was Mel’s.

Jake wore all black like a weirdo whereas Nick wore dark blue jeans, a blue, plaid shirt and white sneakers. Vic, stood out from the rest of us in her short pink and black, plaid miniskirt, black heels, and black tank top. Slut all the way.

We entered the lounge, watching the students before me perform until finally it was time for me.

“This is boring. I wonder who’s next”, Vic whined, making me smile in spite of her comment.

“Yeah, isn’t this the last performance for the night?” Nick asked, sitting at a nearby table with the rest of us.

Jake opened his mouth to speak, but I kicked him, earning a glare from him.

“We’ll just have to see”, Mel said in a suspicious tone causing Nick and Vic to stare at her.

“Those were great performances, weren’t they, Juniors?” Mrs. Thorne asked.

She was not in her usual attire, but dressed in light blue jeans, black flats and a white t-shirt.
Her hair was down and parted in the middle. Talk about dress down.

Cheers erupted from the room while some people booed.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I meant Seniors, right?” she asked, correcting herself as she was soon rewarded with louder cheers and cries from the crowd, including our table.

“Of course, of course. Our final performance for the night will be from our one and only Rosalina Sanchez!” she said, the whole room clapping.

I looked at the shocked expressions on both Nick and Vic’s faces, shrugging at them before speaking.

“What?” I asked.

“You never said you wrote a song nor did you mention you were going to perform”, Nick replied instantly.

“What ever happened to a little surprise?” I asked, teasing them both.

I winked at them, getting a hug from Mel as well as a “good luck” from her and Jake before walking on stage, the butterflies erupting from my stomach.

Once I got to the stage, I looked out at the crowd, smiling brightly as I thought of my mom. She’d be proud of me if she were with me right now, but I had to remember she was with me-in spirit, that is.

“Good evening, New Preston!” I called into the mic earning cheers from the crowd as I took it off the stand, getting used to the stage.

“How many girls out there got their hearts broken this year?” I asked, getting light cheers and hands raised in the air. I paused before continuing.

“I’ve been there recently, too. It’s actually what inspired me to write this song. I won’t mention any names, but you know who you are out there. This one’s for you”, I said, getting an “ow” from someone in the crowd.

The music started, catching everyone’s attention as I began nodding my head a little in sync to the beat. I saw some of the crowd doing the same thing. This was it. It was now or never. I took a deep breath putting everything including Nick’s cold face as well as Vic’s nervous one before I opened my mouth to sing.

You and I walk a fragile line,
I have known it all this time,
But I never thought I’d live to see it break.
It’s getting dark and it’s all too quiet,
And I can’t trust anything now,
And it’s coming over you like it’s all a big mistake.

I stared at the table Nick and the others were sitting at and saw Nick bite his lip. Vic stood to leave, but he stopped her and I stared at them as I continued singing.

Wooon’t hold my breath,
Wooon’t lose you again!
Something’s made your eyes go cold!

Come on, come on,
Don’t leave me like this,
I thought I had you figured out!
Something’s gone terribly wrong,
You’re all I wanted!
Come on, come on,
Don’t leave me like this,
I thought I had you figured out!
Can’t breathe whenever you’re gone,
Can’t turn back, now I’m haunted!

Mel had stood and walked to the crowd as more people stood and began crowding around the stage. Jake gave me a thumbs up out of Nick and Vic’s vision making me smile brighter. The music became a little less tense and I continued singing the next verse.

Stood there and watched you walk away,
From everything we had,
But I still meant every word I said to you.
He will try to take away my pain,
And he just might make me smile,
But the whole time I’m wishin’ he was you instead.

Oh! Holdin’ my breath!
Won’t see you again!
Somethin’ keeps me holdin’ onto nothing!

I diverted my gaze from Nick’s jealous face and Vic’s twisted one, singing back at the crowd.

Come on, come on,
Don’t leave me like this,
I thought I had you figured out!
Something’s gone terribly wrong,
You’re all I wanted!
Come on, come on,
Don’t leave me like this,
I thought I had you figured out!
Can’t breathe whenever you’re gone,
Can’t turn back, now I’m haunted!

The guitar solo began as I caught my breath, really getting into the song. The music got less intense, but increased in intensity as I sung the third verse near the end.

I knooooooow!
I knooooooow!
I just knooooooow!
You’re not gooooone!
You can’t be gone, no!

Something in me told me to look at Nick and only him as I sung the next part seeing his expression cold, but the anger was still evident.

Come on, come on,
Don’t leave me like this!
I thought I had you figured out,
Something’s gone terribly wrong,
Won’t finish what you started!

I stared back at the crowd getting into the music as I sung my heart out.

Come on, come on,
Don’t leave me like this,
I thought I had you figured out!
Can’t breathe whenever you’re gone!
Can’t go back, I’m haunted!
Ooh oh oh oh oooooohhhhhhh ooooooooooh!
You and I walk a fragile line,
I have known it all this time!
Never ever thought I’d see it break!
Never thought I’d see it!

The music ended and the crowd cheered louder than they’d done with the others. I smiled brightly only getting a small pang in my heart at the absence of Nick and Vic. I hadn’t realized they left. At first I regretted singing the song, but in all honesty, I felt better.

I bowed, yelling one last time into the mic.

“Thank you, New Preston!” I cried.
..

“You were AH-MAZING!” Mel gushed, hugging me as soon as I got off the stage.

“Yep. You made Vic jealous and Nick pissed off!” Jake exclaimed cheerfully.

I smiled brightly, even laughing a little at their reactions.

“Thanks, guys”, I replied. I opened my mouth to speak again, but Vic’s voice cut across me.

“What the hell was that?” she asked, her eyes noticeably green.

“What was what? I needed closure, so I wrote a song and I performed it”, I answered as though it were obvious.

“You know what I’m talking about, Rose! You upset Nick. You know what your words have done to him. All he wanted to do was move on!” she rambled.

“Yeah, he wanted to move on alright, with you!” I exclaimed.

We stood in silence and I stared at Vic’s surprised expression.

“Me?” she asked.

“Don’t act like you don’t know”, I retorted angrily, folding my arms across my chest.

“I-I-he told you?” she stammered.

“Uh, yeah, he did. How else was he going to break up with me?” I asked incredulously, feeling my fists clench in anger.

“I don’t know, Rose. I’m sorry-”, she began, but I cut across her.

“I don’t want your sympathy nor your pity. I don’t need it. It’s your fault this happened the way it did. I wish I never gave you another chance. I wish you would just disappear and stay out of my life!” I exclaimed angrily.

“It’s not my fault! I didn’t make Nick break up with you. I only talked to him as a friend. Things went too far, but it shouldn’t affect our friendship, Rose”, she tried, grabbing my hand, but I slipped out of her grip.

“What do you mean too far?” I asked, catching onto her words.

“Ask Nick”, she answered before turning on her heel and exited out of the door.
…

I thought everything over the next morning deciding to ask Nick. I was done with Vic, but I wanted to know once and for all the truth. So something other than him falling for her happened? I needed to know what it was.

As I stood in front of Nick’s dorm room for the final time, I knocked, it swinging open once more, revealing him in the same clothing from the night before.

We stared at one another the usual silence filling the air. I broke it instead of him.

“I want to know what happened between you and Vic once and for all. If I plan on moving on from you, I’ll do it faster by knowing what really happened. Vic told me it went too far and to ask you what happened, so you have no choice”, I said blatantly, getting straight to the point.

“She did?” he asked with a slight groan. I nodded, ignoring his attitude as I waited patiently for him to explain.

“Did you want to come in?” he asked, but I knew he was only being polite.

“No. Out here is fine”, I answered.

“We kissed”, he answered after a while.

“Oh. OK”, I said, turning on my heel. I couldn’t handle it, not now.

“It was the same night you and I broke up, before I did it”, he added in a monotone. Tears filled my eyes, but I never turned to face him. His words made me stop dead in my tracks.

“I get the picture, thanks”, I replied in a shaky tone, going back into my dorm, slamming the door behind me.

I slumped down to the floor, breaking down entirely for the final time. That day, I decided not to spill anymore tears over him and his bullshit. I was done with Nick and my sister Victoria.