The Past is Only the Future with the Lights On

The following morning I took my time getting ready, in no rush to get to school and face Frank.

After crying my eyes out the night before, I finally picked myself up a bit and went upstairs to my bedroom. The last thing I needed was for my grandma to find me in that condition. For being such a small, old woman, she could have a mouth at times - much like her granddaughter - and who knows what she would have said to Frank if she knew just how bad he hurt me by not showing.

I don't even think it was the not showing part that got to me. It was knowing he was with her. Knowing he'd stood up the plans he'd made to go suck face with her.

"Kelly?" my grandma's voice snapped me out of my self-pity, coming from the other side of my door and almost sounding alarmed for some reason.

I walked to my door and pulled it open, her face looking even more worried than her voice had sounded.

"What's up?" I asked, my expression confused.

Her eyes wandered around the room nervously, not meeting mine.

"Uhm. . .Frank's downstairs. . .He says he needs to talk to you," she bit her lip. Did she know something had happened between us?

My eyes literally doubled in size at that moment.

What do I do? I can't confront him yet. I'll breakdown.

I looked down at the watch on my wrist. Thanks to my slow movements this morning, if I left for school now, I'd only be about fifteen minutes early. Looking back at the elderly woman standing in my doorway, a fake smile plastered across my lips, I thanked her and turned around to get my messenger bag from my desk chair. To my surprise, she was still standing there when I turned around, her worried expression replaced with a one of sympathy.

"Did something happen between you and Frank last night?" she whispered, probably so he wouldn't be able to hear us from downstairs. "You were sobbing when I came in. . ." she trailed off as I simply shook my head.

"Nothing happened," I told her. And it wasn't a complete lie, if you think about it.

I walked down the stairs two at a time, my bag on my shoulder and my hands being pulled into a pair of fingerless gloves. Mounting the bottom step, I looked up, immediately being met by a pair of regretful hazel eyes.

Well its too late to regret anything now, isn't it?

Frank opened his mouth, to apologize I assumed, but stopped when I held up my hand dismissively to him. Throwing open the front door, my day only got ten times worse.

Fat raindrops were pouring from the gray, cloud covered sky, the heavy winds only making it come down with more pressure. I guess I could take my car, staying out of the rain and away from Frank, but I couldn't remember the last time I'd driven it. The gas tank was, most likely, empty.

I pulled my hood over my head, not that it would help much, and took my first step out into the pouring rain. Now that I was walking through it and not watching it from the dryness of my porch, it felt like it was coming down much harder. Almost immediately, my whole front side became drenched in this water, the wind, naturally, deciding to throw the rain at my face.

Stupid January with it's stupid, unwanted rain and wind that decided to come to Jersey the day I wanted to stay away from a stupid boy.

It was all stupid.

I could hear rushed footsteps behind me, and I could practically picture this stupid boy spitting out profanities as he stepped into a puddle and got his Etnies dirty.

That almost made me smile. Almost.

"Kelly!" Frank shouted out from only a few feet behind me, though the loud rain seemed to drone out most of his voice, making it sound like he was farther away.

I kept walking at a steady pace, keeping my head down so I wouldn't get any water in my eyes. Frank's footsteps were still behind me, getting progressively louder, and I knew it would be any second now that -

"Dammit, Kelly. Listen to me!" he told me sternly, grabbing my shoulder and making me turn to face him.

Tears had already started to race down my cheeks, simply out of frustration and the drama boys caused, not that you could tell with the rain and all. It was just my red eyes and sniffling that made it obvious.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't make it last night. I had. . .unexpected plans," he said, his voice now soft and guilty.

"Oh, you mean an unexpected make out session with Victoria?" I asked, saying her name sourly. Frank looked shocked at my sudden outburst, his mouth hung open and his eyes searching for something in my face. "Yeah, your mom told me last night that you were out with her, so don't even try to feed me some bullsh -"

Something startling to say the least cut me off. Something every girl dreams of doing in the rain. Something you really only see in movies.

Frank placed his lips roughly against mine not once - not twice - but three times as I just stood there, my face melting in his hands.

But now was not the time to have done that. Kissing me was not going to fix things.

I brought my hands to his chest and pushed him back a couple of feet. His face, hair sticking to it in random places from his lack of hood, now looked confused and hurt. As if I'd just walked all over it. Well he deserved it for walking all over my heart.

"Tell me, Frank, do you have a thing for all new girls?" I asked, placing my already wet hands on my drenched hips and looking at him through narrowed eyes.

Both of our bodies were completely soaked from head to toe and it just seemed like the rain was coming down harder, if that was even possible. I was surprised it wasn't hailing by now.

Frank opened his mouth but I didn't let him say whatever it was he had planned on saying.

"Do you just go around, kissing all of the new girls until you've decided which you want? Just taunting us? Do you get your kicks out of this, Frank?" I asked, having closed the distance between us and was now standing right in front of him, practically on his toes, pointing a finger firmly into his chest.

He just looked at me, those big, puppy dog eyes showing. . .pain?. . .regret? and. . .are those tears?

I brought my voice back down to its normal volume, just audible over the rain, choking back more tears.

"Why don't you go back to your girlfriend now? 'Cause I'm through with you. I-I can't do this anymore. I just want to forget all about you, Frank. I want you out of my fucking life."