The Past is Only the Future with the Lights On

Her voice was so quiet, it took me a second to realize just what she had said.

"Me?" I asked in a high pitched voice, pointing to myself dumbly.

I never would have thought I'd be the reason for them to break up. Was that even possible? I mean, we'd gone so long without any contact between each other, how could I have been the cause of that?

"Yeah, I guess she got tired of hearing 'Kelly this' and 'Kelly that,'" she trailed off as I stared blankly at the table top, taking this in.

"I want to talk to him." Woah, when did I make that decision? It was as if I'd been possessed or something by some foreign, mental creature. 'Cause I know damn well talking was the last thing I was interested in doing right now - especially with Frank.

Dahlia smiled and rose from her seat.

"I'll be right back, okay? Don't go any-" she started to tell me to stay put, but I was too anxious to let her finish.

"I'm not leaving!" I told her, and she laughed before power walking off in the direction we’d just come from only a few minutes ago.

What was I doing? I couldn't talk to him right now. What would I even say to him? Maybe I should just leave. . .

No, I've been waiting for a month now to speak to that beautiful boy. To meet his gaze and actually smile as oppose to glare. To hear his melodic voice talk to me and tell me he loved me. To feel his lips against mine once more.

And I could have that now - with the exception of one of those.

He was here, in the same building as me, and we were both miserable from not having each other. All we needed was to talk this out and we'd be back to normal, right?

My thoughts were soon interrupted when I noticed a body slowly filling the empty seat across from me. Reluctantly pulling my stare from my nervously twiddling thumbs in my lap, I looked up to see Frank sat there, just as I'd expected. His eyes were already set on me, his face holding no expression what so ever, though his eyes were a light shade of pink, as if he'd recently been crying or he hadn't slept in a while - most likely a combination of both.

We continued with our stare off for a couple more minutes until I couldn't take it anymore and had to say something.

"I heard your girlfriend dumped you," I said in a conversational tone, mindlessly tracing the pattern on the table with my index finger.

He nodded his head twice. His mouth remained a closed, straight line, and his eyes stayed fixed on me, watching my every move.

"I also heard that it was because of me," my voice had noticeably dropped and my eyes immediately connected with his to see his reaction.

Just more nodding.

How was he going to expect to fix things with us, as I assumed he wished to do otherwise he'd still be on that bench with the guys and not sitting right in front of me, if he wasn't planning on saying anything?

"Please tell me, Frank, what the hell I did to ruin such a great relationship," I said sarcastically, his silence frustrating me to the point where I didn’t care if I hurt him with my words or not.

For the first time since he'd sat down at my booth, he dropped his head and looked away from me. I continued to sit there, the only noise being produced coming from that of the busy and crowded mall of people around us.

I couldn't take it anymore. Mumbling profanities under my breath that I knew I'd regret saying later, and got up from my seated position.

"Dammit, Frank. I don't know what to say then. If you're just gonna keep your thoughts to yourself than forget about it. I've gone a month without any kind of contact with you, a couple more won't hurt."

And with that, I turned on my heel and walked away.

Half of me expected him to chase after me, begging me to give him another chance and let him explain himself.

I figured, at least, he'd ask me to stop and come sit back down.

However, what really happened, was neither of those. They were just wishes, I guess. What I wanted to happen. They were also things I'd expect from Frank.

But, like I said, I didn't get my wish.

As I continued to walk away, there were no distant calls in the background, yelling my name. The sound of quick footsteps behind me did not exist. And I just walked out the entrance/exit doors of the mall, by my lonesome, fighting back tears. Not wanting to make a fool of myself for leaving like that and then returning to yell in Frank's face, as I'd so badly wanted to do, I kept my feet moving, walking the short distance back to grandma's house.