The Past is Only the Future with the Lights On

"You don't have enough self-control, KC."

"You're getting out of hand, KC."

"How could you let a boy ruin your chances at something so important, KC?"

"This is for your own good, KC."

Sound familiar?

Six months ago, those were the types of things you'd hear from my strict father. But now, things were different. He was a different person, a better, nicer person. And, as much as I hated to admit it, I was sure it had something to do with Jenny. The woman he would eventually be married to.

Now, I was hearing things like,

"We need to get you fitted for a dress, Kelly."

"Kelly, which do you think, white or red roses for the centerpieces?"

"You're going to need a date, Kelly."

"Have you thought about moving back to Bridgewater, Kelly?"

And I'd responded with,

"Sure, how about sometime next week?"

"Black. White and red are so expectant at weddings."

"I'll talk to Frank?"

"No."

I'll be honest, it was a nice change of questions. Though I was a bit woried about the last two, at least I didn't have my dad nagging me about anything…yet.

It was just a matter of time before he found something wrong with the way I was living my life that he'd need to bitch about; it was something I was positive about.

And today, being that 'sometime next week', I was on my way to meet him and Jenny downtown so we could look for a dress for me to wear at their wedding.

I hate dresses. With a passion. And not because I always felt so naked in them and like everyone was laughing at me, but because dresses meant heels. I hated heels a million times worse than dresses. At least in a dress I didn't feel like my feet were about to fall off.

I walked down the sidewalk, having just left the school, and cringed at that thought. Who knows, maybe I could convince my dad into letting me wear some nice flats.

The walk to the store dad told me to meet him outside of seemed shorter than usual, probably because I had so much on my mind; dresses, shoes, Frank, the wedding, life after the wedding,finding a date asking Frank to go with me, homework I had to finish tonight, Frank. Did I mention Frank?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, the affects this boy had on me even when he was miles away were ridiculous.

Pushing the glass door of the small wedding boutique open, seeing as how neither my father nor Jenny were outside like they said they'd be, I was immediately met by the sight of them sitting at a desk talking to a woman who appeared to be in her late twenties. Her dark brown hair had been pulled into a tight bun and a pair of small thick rimmed glasses sat on the bridge of her button nose.

Upon noticing my entrance, dad smiled and motioned for me to take the seat on his right.

The woman was telling Jenny about some new veils they'd recently received, which Jenny politely declined because she wasn't planning on wearing a veil. So the woman started talking about dress styles.

I sighed, knowing this would be a long, boring afternoon and that, by the end of the day, I'd be ready to shoot myself.

Well, I was close. Instead of asking anyone for a handy gun they might happen to be carrying on their person, thirty minutes into the "meeting" I was looking for ways to hang myself; dressing room doors, hideous scarves, the thick rope used to tie back a curtain, anything.

Dad hadn't even noticed. He was too wrapped up in Jenny. But that was fine by me. It meant less time looking for a dress for me, which we had no luck in finding. Oh darn.

Now I was walking back to my house, a cold wind whipping at my body, resulting in me wrapping my jacket closer to me. I'd take February's wind over January's snow any day, though.

Walking through the front door to my house about twenty minutes later, I sighed and tossed my bag to the ground, in no mood to do my homework as I climbed the staircase and locked myself in my bedroom.

I'd have to plan a day to ask Frank to be my date to my dad's wedding. But knowing me, I'd end up freaking out last minute. I wasn't sure why I was so intimidated of Frank in situations like this. Its not like he was going to hate me or anything…I think it was just because asking him to this was almost like asking him out on a date, and for some reason, that scared the shit out of me.

Why did I have to be so mental over things like this?

"So how did dress shopping go yesterday?" Frank asked me from across the cafeteria table with a teasing smirk on his lips.

I glared and subtly flipped him off by scratching the side of my nose with my middle finger, just in case one of the teachers happened to walk by at the that moment. He laughed, using that as his sign to drop the subject.

Taking a bite of my turkey sandwich, I caught a glimpse of Mikey's confused, thoughtful face and snorted. It was really a stupid thing to laugh at, he was just looking around the room, but I couldn't help myself.

"What's up, Mikey?" I asked through a laugh, the two other people at our table looking at him and laughing as well at his expression.

He looked at me, then back around the cafeteria. "Do you think they were confused when they were building our school? 'Cause, like, we have bleachers in here and in the gym…It just doesn't make any sense to me." He shook his head, still looking dumbfounded.

What drugs was this kid on? Seriously.

Frank, Dahlia and I broke out in fits of laughter, Mikey looking at us shocked, like we'd just insulted him or something.

"Well excuse me for taking notice to my surroundings. Didn't think you guys would be so rude about it." He crossed his arms over his chest childishly.

"That was probably one of the stupidest things I've ever heard you say, man," Frank continued to chuckle, totally ignoring his friend's last comment as he patted him on his back from the spot next to him.

It was great having all four of us together again like this. There was no friction between Frank and I, and Victoria wasn't here to make me throw up my lunch. It was all good. Well, for the most part…

"Hey, Kelly. How's it goin'? I feel like we haven't talked in years." I turned in my seat at the sound of my name, seeing Sklyer walking up behind me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I vaguely noticed Frank's once shaking with laughter body become as hard as stone.

Oh, that's right. Due to the fact that he decided to hook up with some chick he'd only known for a day and ditch me, I never got to tell him how I really felt. And now I'm not too sure that I could bring myself to tell him.

"Yeah, we don't have geometry anymore," I said as he stopped and stood behind D and I. He gave a small wave to the table receiving two smiles and a blank expression, before turning back to me, a nervous look etched across his face.

"Yeah, so uhm…I was wondering if you might possibly be free tomorrow…We could catch up, see a movie or something…what'd ya say?" he bit his lip and raised an eyebrow at me.

I liked Skyler. He was cool and funny, just an easy person to talk to really. But I didn't like him like that. Not like Frank. It was bad and I was never going to be more than friends with anyone if I kept comparing him to Frank, but that's exactly what he was; not Frank. I mean, Frank looked nervous and I found it cute, but some other guy did it and it almost made me want to laugh.

What was I going to do with myself? Aside from the obvious check myself into a mental ward after graduation, of course.

"Actually, I do have plans, I'm sorry," I shot him an apologetic smile, having never seen him look so disappointed before now.

"Right, well maybe some other time." And with that, he scurried of in the direction he'd come from.

I really shouldn't feel this bad. I hadn't lied to him, but still. Maybe if I'd actually given him an explanation and not just said that I was busy, he would have understood better.

The only problem with that was, I wasn't the type to openly talk about my birthday. That only brought unwanted attention, and that's not what I was about. I'd much rather spend the day hanging out with my close friends than telling the whole school and having a big ass party.

Yes, as of tomorrow, I'd be a legal adult. Scary thought, huh?

I turned back to my friends, Mikey and Dahlia red in the face from containing their laughter, and a small smile on Frank's face.

"What?" I asked, helplessly smiling myself.

The three of them exchanged looks that I didn't understand before going back to their lunches; with the exception of one.

My eyes met Frank's soft gaze as he stood up and walked over to me.

"I've gotta talk to you about something," he whispered in my ear from behind, sending chills up, down, and back up my spine.

I gave him a questioning look, which he'd simply followed with a smirk before walking towards the entrance doors.

Intrigued, I shadowed behind him.

What was so important that he couldn't talk to me about in the cafeteria? Why was he making us go out into the hall to talk? And what was with these sneaky, knowing glances Mikey and D kept shooting each other?