The Past is Only the Future with the Lights On

Those two final periods were probably the hardest to go through. Mikey, Dahlia, and I sat on the bleachers all of third period, waiting for some sign of Frank. They kept busy in conversation, continuously trying to bring my wandering mind into it. But, somehow, I always managed to lose focus and simply stare at the gym’s double doors. Feeling as if a stampede of elephants had just been unleashed on my hopes, I walked to my music history class at the sound of the bell, all by myself.

And what made this class so hard to deal with, you may ask. Other than not having my two saviors by my side this time, when I walked into the classroom, I was met by the sight of a distinct mop of messy brown hair. As I stood, staring in disbelief at the boy with his back to me, I realized I was blocking the doorway for other students. I instantly shuffled inside, finding an empty seat no where even close to Frank’s, and sat down at it. Our eyes connected for a brief second, until my breath caught in my throat and I quickly pulled my stare down to the jittery fingers on my desk. I stared at the ring of ink on the ring finger of my left hand, remembering what the boy with the matching band had once said to me.

“And no matter what happens between us, I’ll continue loving you. We can have a fight tomorrow and go the rest of our lives ignoring each other, as much as that idea scares the shit out of me, and I’d still love you.”

I think what made our dilemma ten times worse was the fact that he wasn’t talking to me because I knew he liked me. What the hell, right? Shouldn’t that sort of…bring us closer together or something? Apparently not. Those words were just a lie. A big, fat lie.

Another period passed, ending our final day of high school, and neither of us made an effort to even talk to the other the entirety of that class.

Nearly half an hour later, Dahlia and I were stepping into the front door of her house, my dress hanging loosely over one arm and a bag carrying everything else I’d need to get ready in the other.

“It’s gonna be great, Kelly. You will not regret your decision,” Dahlia said happily, referring to how only minutes before I’d agreed to let her do my make up for the dance. She walked up the staircase to her room with me trailing behind her, where we dropped all of our stuff onto her bed.

She turned to me and began scrutinizing my appearance, a thoughtful expression on her pretty face. I simply stood there, awkwardly, while she began playing with my hair.

“Hey, I didn’t say anything about the hair,” I told her, taking a step back and holding up my hands.

D smirked as she picked up a plastic bag by her dresser and started rummaging through it. Finally, she found what she was looking for.

“It’s a package deal,” she said simply, holding up two boxes of hair dye. “Now lets get to work.”

I sighed, in no mood to argue with her. I let the girl have her fun, dying and straightening my hair and applying my makeup. The entire process took close to two hours. Once she was finished with me, I told her it was only fair that I got to do her makeup as well, which she gladly agreed to.

It wasn’t until I was slipping on my dress, recalling a certain conversation I’d had with Dahlia about it, that Frank really even crossed my mind that afternoon. And that is when I finally broke. I collapsed in a heap of black and pink fabric on her floor, holding up the untied top of my dress with one hand and running the fingers of the other under my eyes to catch all of the tears now falling freely down my cheeks. Fortunately, Dahlia had thought ahead and used waterproof products.

As if on cue, the door opened and in waltzed D herself, looking absolutely stunning in her own dress. She was by my side the instant her eyes landed on me, however, ‘sh’ing me and rubbing my back.

We said nothing to each other, though. I just continued to cry as Dahlia comforted and held me. We both knew what these tears were for and, at this point, there wasn’t much she could say anymore. It was really on me and Frank now to do the rest. And it was the stress and hopelessness of not knowing what the fuck I was going to say to him that was destroying me.

A few minutes later, D had become silent next to me as she grabbed the straps to my dress and secured them at the back of my neck for me.

“Mikey sent me a text about an hour ago,” she said softly once my tears had, for the most part, subsided.

I looked up at her, confused, and dried my tear-stained cheeks one final time. “What’d he say?”

She was slow to respond, which worried me. That could only mean one of two things; he hadn’t told Frank yet for me, or he did tell him, but he had a bad reaction to the news.

“He hasn’t had the chance to talk to him yet, Kells. You will not believe how stubborn he’s being over this whole thing,” she told me, shaking her head.

Oh, I think I have an idea.

She tucked a strand of my newly black hair behind my ear. “But I’ve already got it planned out, ‘kay? You’ve got nothing to worry about, hun. I promise that, by the end of the day, that boy is going to come to his freaking senses,” Dahlia stated confidently, grabbing my hand and helping me up.

I laughed at my friends attempt to cheer me up and make me see things more optimistically. “And how do you plan on doing that?” I asked her, rolling my eyes slightly in doubt.

“Easy,” she said, ignoring my pessimistic-ness and fixing my makeup and quickly running her fingers through my hair to get any knots out. “Mikey and I are gonna beat the shit outta him until he speaks!” She added an evil laugh at the end, which I couldn’t help but laugh at, as well. “But cereally. The three of us will just sit his ass down and have a nice little talk with him.”

I thought about that for a second. Maybe if I had D and Mikey there, I wouldn’t be as nervous to talk to Frank…

I smiled gratefully at my friend, giving her a friendly hug.

“Thanks, D. I pretty much owe you and Mikes my life,” I laughed into her shoulder, then pulled away.

“No worries,” she told me. “I’m sure you’ll make up for it all tonight.” I wondered how she could be so positive and self-assured about everything. It was certainly a trait of hers that I envied.

“Now, you ready to go?” she asked, grinning from ear to ear. I smiled back, trying to ignore the wild bats now flapping around my stomach like crazy in anticipation of what tonight would have in store for me, and nodded my head.

Let’s get this over with.