What Does It Take to Be a Superhero

Alexei couldn't watch her do this to herself any longer. He hated that he couldn’t be her hero this time, but she needed more than he could give her. For the past few months, he had watched Maggie's life spiral out of control. One of his best friends since childhood and the love of his life, the Maggie he once knew had quickly became a mere memory as she changed into a completely different person.

A few months ago, Maggie had befriended a few new people who clearly didn't have her best interests in mind. She had first tried cocaine one night with her new friends while Alexei had been in Montreal for a game. She had called him that night, completely high, and Alexei could tell that she simply wasn't herself, though he didn't actually know what was wrong with her.

She continued trying new drugs, never once revealing to Alexei what was going on, as she knew he would be disappointed in her, and that was the last thing she wanted to do. So, instead, she would go behind his back, making it a point to never introduce her new friends to him. She wouldn't hang out with them when Alexei was in Toronto, and she would only do the drugs when he was away.

But, quickly she developed an addiction to cocaine, which became so great that she wasn't able to only do the drugs when Alexei was away. She still tried to hide her drug use from him, lying to him and telling him she was going to the gym or had to work late when she felt the need for cocaine. Her lying quickly caught up to her, though, and soon Alexei found out.

The first time he caught her, Maggie was completely out of her mind, having just smoked cocaine. He had gone to her apartment, wanting to get his jacket that he had left there a few nights beforehand, and he was in for the surprise of his life. When he opened the door, he found Maggie strung out on her couch, completely high. He immediately ran over to her, not knowing what had happened to her, and he stayed with her through the night, wanting to make sure she was alright.

The following morning, he had tried talking to her, but Maggie didn't want to have anything to do with him. "Maggie, tell me what's going on," he begged her.

"It's nothing, Alexei!" she snapped on him. "I was just having a little fun."

"A little fun?" Alexei questioned. "Maggie, you were high on drugs! Why? When did this even start? Please tell me that was your first and last time," he begged, but when she looked down at the floor and refused to look him in the eyes, he knew this wasn't her first time. "How many times?" he asked, and Maggie continued to stay quiet. "Maggie, how many times?" he repeated more forcefully.

"Does it really matter?" Maggie asked quietly.

"How many times?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

"You don’t know why? Because it's too many times to count or because you can't remember all the times you've done it?" he questioned, and Maggie could feel tears stinging the back of her eyes as she was upset that she had caused Alexei to be this angry.

"Alexei," she began, but she suddenly stopped, knowing that she didn't have anything to say to him that could possibly make this situation any better.

"Maggie," Alexei said quietly. "We need to get you some help."

"I don't need help!" she exclaimed. "I'm fine. I was just having a little fun a few times. It's not like I have a problem. It's not like I'm addicted!" she lied to herself and Alexei.

"Maggie."

"Alexei, listen, if you want me to stop, I'll stop. But, I don’t need any help," she claimed.

"Okay," Alexei nodded his head. "But, I do want you to stop."

"I will," she promised, and like an idiot, Alexei believed her.

Maggie had done well for a couple of weeks. She had seen the look in Alexei's eyes when he found out she was doing cocaine, and she knew it was both a look of disappointment and a look of pity, and Maggie never wanted to see that face again, and she definitely didn't want to be the one to cause him to look like that again. She had tried hard, and she had quit doing cocaine cold turkey.

Her friends didn't understand this sudden cessation of drugs, and they tried to get her to try them again, but she refused, remembering Alexei every time they tried. But, one night, when Alexei was in Tampa Bay, Maggie was having an awful day, and she had gone out, trying to relieve some of the stress she was feeling. She went out with her friends, and when she got into one of their cars, one of them pulled out some drugs and handed them to her. "Here, you know these will make you feel better," he told her.

Maggie shook her head. "I can't," she told him. "You know that I quit."

"Come on, you said you were feeling stressed out. Here's the answer. It's not like you're going to go back to using all the time again. But, you can use it tonight. Relieve some stress," he said. Maggie knew she was going to regret it as soon as she did it, but she didn't care as she grabbed the Ziploc baggie from him, staring at the white powder inside.

When Alexei came home from his road trip the following day, he once again found Maggie in her living room, this time lying on the floor, completely unconscious, the bag of white powder opened next to her, the contents spilling onto the floor. He tried waking her up, praying that she was simply asleep, but she wasn't moving. Not knowing what else to do, he called an ambulance, hoping that she was going to be alright.

As he waited in the hospital for her, Alexei paced across the floor, trying to figure out what to do for his girlfriend. She had told him that she would quit, but obviously she had been lying to him. Should he get her into rehab? He was still contemplating that decision when a nurse came out and told him he could go into Maggie's room, as she had finally come out of her coma. "Maggie," Alexei said, looking at this woman who looked nothing like the woman he loved. Instead, she looked pale and sick, having just had her stomach pumped. "You promised me. You promised me you'd quit."

"I did quit," Maggie claimed.

"Stop lying, "Alexei ordered.”Stop lying to me. Maggie, I found you unconscious on your living room floor with cocaine next to you!" he said, his voice raising with every word. "Don't tell me you quit!"

"I did!" she exclaimed. "This was the first time since I promised you!"

"Why?" he questioned. "Why did you have to resort to this? Why?"

"I was having a bad day," she began.

"Maggie, we all have bad days! It doesn't mean we go out and get high to forget about them. There's so many other things you could have done! If you thought you were going to relapse, why didn't you call me?"

"Because, Alexei, you were in Tampa Bay! I couldn’t call you! You were too busy with other things on your mind!"

"Is that what you really think? That I'm too busy for you? Maggie, it's my job. I'm sorry that I was in Tampa Bay, but I can't really do anything about that. But, you know you can call me any time. Especially if you think you're going to get high again!"

"I can't call you when you're in the middle of a game!" she pointed out.

"What do you want me to do, Maggie? Quit playing hockey?"

"No!" she yelled. "I don’t know what to do! But, this isn't your problem."

"Maggie, you've got to get some help," he told her, and Maggie could hear the desperation in his voice. "Rehab. I'll pay for it. I'll pay for someplace nice. No one even has to know that you're going. But, Maggie, you've got to get some help," he repeated.

"No rehab," Maggie said, shaking her head. Alexei began to argue, but Maggie cut him off. "I'll do this on my own. I won't use again. I promise. Just don't send me to rehab. Don't send me away," she begged.

Alexei stared at her, trying to figure out what would be the best choice. He knew she needed to go to rehab, some place that was far away from these new so-called friends. Somewhere far away from temptation, but he could see the fear in her eyes, and he knew he couldn’t send her to rehab. "You cannot use anymore," he said, hoping he was making the right decision.

One week later, Alexei learned the news that he had been traded to the Pittsburgh Penguins, and he wondered if this was really a blessing in disguise, as he could take Maggie with him to Pittsburgh and hopefully get her away from all the temptations.

When he had first asked Maggie if she wanted to move to Pittsburgh with him, she had been hesitant, not really sure she wanted to move that far away from Toronto, a place she had been for the last seven years. But, she knew she didn't want to be that far from Alexei, and it would be a nice way to start her life over, make a better life for herself.

It had been nice the first few weeks. She had gotten a new job at an advertising agency, and Maggie felt like she was really getting on with her life. But, once again, she was pulled back into her old lifestyle.

She had messed up with one of the advertisements, ordering the wrong item, and her boss had reprimanded her in front of everyone. Coming home that night, she felt the lowest she had since she had moved to Pittsburgh. With Alexei off somewhere, Maggie found the small baggie of familiar white powder that she had left over from Toronto.

She flipped the baggie over and over in her hands, contemplating whether she really wanted to resort to this once again. She thought she had beaten this habit, and she didn't know if she really wanted to go back to this life once again. She thought she had left this life in Toronto.

But, she kept telling herself that this was going to be a one-time thing. She only had this small amount of cocaine left, and once it was gone, she would be out for good. Opening the baggie, she let all thoughts of Alexei exit her mind, and she poured the baggie out onto the table, beginning to snort it.

Alexei found her a couple of hours later, completely high, and he knew he couldn’t deal with this any longer. He couldn't watch her destroy her life. He had trusted her on one too many occasions when she had told him she was going to beat this addiction on her own, and he had given her too many chances to do that. But, it was now obvious that that wasn't going to happen, and he needed to get her help, whether she liked it or not.

The following morning, he walked into her apartment, handing her a plane ticket. "What's this?" Maggie asked, staring down at the tickets. "Why are we going to Maine?" she asked.

"We're not going," he told her, and she looked up at him curiously. "You're going."

"What?"

"I can't do this anymore. You can't do this anymore. Maggie, you've got to get help. You can't do it on your own," he told her, and she felt her stomach drop as she realized he had found her high the previous night, not that she could remember it. "I've already called the rehab place. It's a great place, really nice. You'll stay there until you're better."

"Alexei, don’t do this to me," she begged.

"I don't know what else to do, Maggie. I love you, and I can't watch you do this to yourself anymore."

"I'll get better on my own," she said, tears springing to her eyes. "Just don't make me go to rehab. Don't make me go to Maine," she begged.

Alexei shook his head. "I've given you too many chances. You need help."

"Alexei," she began.

"I love you," he whispered, holding her in his arms as she cried into his chest. "And, I'll love you even more once you get help."

"Can't you just help me?"

"I've tried. You need to do this, Maggie. For me. But, more importantly for yourself."

"Alexei," she began once again.

"I love you," he repeated, holding onto her even tighter, realizing for the first time in his life that he couldn't be her hero. She needed more than him this time.