My Darling.Mom.
meeting
Here I am standing looking at the woman who gave me up so many years ago. I wanted so much to see her and have some kind of merical happen where I could look at her and know she was my mom, but the truth is I couldn’t picked her out of a line up.
It was 2 years ago, I was 14 and I became obsessed with finding my birthparents. It turns out due to DNA testing they could trace my parents. Just recently they found a match and they contacted me. I was so happy and excited, but now as I’m standing her looking at this woman who is my mother I’m scared.
What should I say to her? What do you say to a person who gave who up when you were just 3 days old? She looked at me shly maybe feeling the same way I did, but what the hell she was the one who made this choice not me. I don’t even know her name.
“Hello Meili, I’m Lee.” she said quietly.
So Lee was her name.Well at least I know that much.
“How do you know my name?” I asked abruptly.
“W..w. well the agency told me your name when they called me. Its a beautiful name.” she stutted slightly at my abruptness.
“Oh ...... thank you.” was all I could say.
The tension and confusion was swirling around the room.
“Why?” i asked quietly.
“Why, what?” she replied confused.
“ Why, Why did you leave me? Why did you give me up when I was only 3 days old, didn’t you love or care about me at all?” I said so loud almost to the point of yelling.
“ I had to.” was all she said.
“You had to.Thats your excuse for leaving me. Thats all you will give me after 16 years of wondering “I had to” thats it?” I yelled.
“I did have to.” She yelled, “you know the rules, I could only have one child.I already had your brother. I wanted to keep you my darling, I did please believe me i’m your mom.”
“No!” I yelled “ don’t call me your darling or say that you are my mom. You lost that right when you gave me up.”
”But I couldn’t keep you both, if I kept you and the goverment found out it would have been worse I would have lost you both for disobeying the law.”
“Oh so that was it.It was like Sophi’s choice. It was either me or my brother, and you picked him.” I said sadly.
“It wasn’t as simple as that. Your father came to the house just after I gave birth to you.He was roaring drunk and mad. I don’t know exactly why but he started to hit me, and he tried to hit you, I’m sorry but the brutal truth is that he blamed you. He blamed you for being a girl and not a boy.” she said.
“ But I couldn’t help what I was” I said close to tears.
“ OH I know that” she said coming and trying to hold my had till I jerked away.
“ But he did.I had to get you out of there for your saftey and the safty of your brother. I know your mad and I’m sorry but like I said before I had to.” she finished.
“ I understand.” I said crying.
“But I hope you can undestand that I can’t be around you right now. I have to go.I’m sorry.” I said as I ran out.
“Meili wait!” she called.
I turned around slowly waiting for what she wanted to tell me.
“ The biggest mistake I have ever made is that night when I gave you up.I’m sorry, but there was never a day that you didn’t come into my thoughts.” she said crying.
“ I want to see you again if thats ok?"
“good bye.........mom.”I saw her smile as I said this.
"Good bye........ my darling.”
It was 2 years ago, I was 14 and I became obsessed with finding my birthparents. It turns out due to DNA testing they could trace my parents. Just recently they found a match and they contacted me. I was so happy and excited, but now as I’m standing her looking at this woman who is my mother I’m scared.
What should I say to her? What do you say to a person who gave who up when you were just 3 days old? She looked at me shly maybe feeling the same way I did, but what the hell she was the one who made this choice not me. I don’t even know her name.
“Hello Meili, I’m Lee.” she said quietly.
So Lee was her name.Well at least I know that much.
“How do you know my name?” I asked abruptly.
“W..w. well the agency told me your name when they called me. Its a beautiful name.” she stutted slightly at my abruptness.
“Oh ...... thank you.” was all I could say.
The tension and confusion was swirling around the room.
“Why?” i asked quietly.
“Why, what?” she replied confused.
“ Why, Why did you leave me? Why did you give me up when I was only 3 days old, didn’t you love or care about me at all?” I said so loud almost to the point of yelling.
“ I had to.” was all she said.
“You had to.Thats your excuse for leaving me. Thats all you will give me after 16 years of wondering “I had to” thats it?” I yelled.
“I did have to.” She yelled, “you know the rules, I could only have one child.I already had your brother. I wanted to keep you my darling, I did please believe me i’m your mom.”
“No!” I yelled “ don’t call me your darling or say that you are my mom. You lost that right when you gave me up.”
”But I couldn’t keep you both, if I kept you and the goverment found out it would have been worse I would have lost you both for disobeying the law.”
“Oh so that was it.It was like Sophi’s choice. It was either me or my brother, and you picked him.” I said sadly.
“It wasn’t as simple as that. Your father came to the house just after I gave birth to you.He was roaring drunk and mad. I don’t know exactly why but he started to hit me, and he tried to hit you, I’m sorry but the brutal truth is that he blamed you. He blamed you for being a girl and not a boy.” she said.
“ But I couldn’t help what I was” I said close to tears.
“ OH I know that” she said coming and trying to hold my had till I jerked away.
“ But he did.I had to get you out of there for your saftey and the safty of your brother. I know your mad and I’m sorry but like I said before I had to.” she finished.
“ I understand.” I said crying.
“But I hope you can undestand that I can’t be around you right now. I have to go.I’m sorry.” I said as I ran out.
“Meili wait!” she called.
I turned around slowly waiting for what she wanted to tell me.
“ The biggest mistake I have ever made is that night when I gave you up.I’m sorry, but there was never a day that you didn’t come into my thoughts.” she said crying.
“ I want to see you again if thats ok?"
“good bye.........mom.”I saw her smile as I said this.
"Good bye........ my darling.”
♠ ♠ ♠
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