You Plus Me Equals Memories

This isn’t who I am. This isn’t Sara Ann Collens. This is someone else. When did I change?

I kept asking myself these questions as we drove down to the park. Xoee was rocking out to some sort of new local grunge band and isn’t even realizing that I’m freaking out. Maybe this was a bad idea. We should have just stayed at the mall in our favorite spot by the fountain. This is dangerous and careless. But at least I’m not meeting this guy all by myself. I have Xoee with me. And she can kick some ass when she wants to. She was raised by 6 brothers and a single dad. Xoee is a bad ass.

I pulled into our local park where there was a stage full of speakers and microphones. I parked my car and took a breath.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Xoee asked, rolling up her window. I don’t get why she does that. She knows my care doesn’t have air conditioning and who in their right mind would want to steal this piece of crap.

“Yeah, if he’s a nice guy, I don’t want to disappoint him.” WHAT AM I SAYING?! I have never ever done something this dumb in my life. Why am I doing it now?

Because Sara, your life is flying by, graduating, college, a job. You won’t have much time left before you die. Alone. With regrets to every decision you made. Do you want to look back and say you wish you got out of this car? Or do you want to say that you’re glad you got out of this car because it was an experience?

I had to listen to my conscience. Everything it tells me is mostly true.

“Lets roll.” I say.

We got out of the car and strolled up to the stage. I remembered what Caleb told me to look for; long black hair, bright green lip ring, baby blue t-shirt, most likely holding a guitar. Xoee reaches for my hand and squeezes.

I look to my left. Nothing.

I look to my right. And there he is. How do I know? Because I do. It’s one of those girl instincts. I just know. And he is wearing the exact description.

I inhale deeply. He looks up and our eyes meet.

Am I breathing?

“Sara?”

I snap out of my trans. Oh man, I hope I didn’t look like an idiot.

“Sara, is that him?” Xoee asked, pointing to the boy.

I slowly nod. Omigod, he’s coming right this way. Oh jeez! He stops in front of me and smiles. He must know it’s me, or else he wouldn’t be standing here. Jesus, he is gorgeous.

“You must be Sara Ann.” His voice is the sound of harmonious angels singing with every syllable. What the fuck? Why am I thinking these? Sara doesn’t get crushes or boyfriends. She rebels against that kinds of stuff!

Then why did you come?

Damn voice.

“Sara, say something.” Xoee whispered.

“Oh, um, yeah, I am. And you’re…Caleb?”

“Yeah, nice to meet you finally.” He reached out his hand, and I took it.

Xoee fidgeted with her feet. She does this in awkward situations. And this is definitely an awkward situation.

“I’m going to get something to drink.” She said, walking away. Wonderful, now we’re alone.

“So…you like music?” I ask. Of course he likes music. I already know almost everything about him except his dark secrets. But I needed a conversation starter.

“Yup.” He said.

Conversation dead.

Come on Sara! You’re living on the edge here. This is like bungee jumping! Take a deep breath. Exhale. Then go!

I did what she told me to do. I inhaled, exhaled and just went crazy with him. We talked about school and about family. He already told me about his roommates, but he introduced us and we all talked. Xoee even got into the conversations after she second soda. Believe it or not, Xoee can be shy when she really doesn’t feel comfortable. Which is weird because I would expect her to be comfortable here. She loves concerts.

“So tomorrow’s your birthday?” This guy, Sebastian, asked me.

I nodded. I’m turning 18.

“What are your planth?” Jeff asked. He was kindda cute with long brown hair and bright brown eyes.

“Xoee and I are driving to Idaho. We stay there in the middle of no where for a week. We’ve done that since I was thirteen.” We use to run away on a bus to get there. No one really missed us.

The concert was fabulous. They raised a good $5000 to help support recycling. We all decided to go out to dinner and celebrate. So we went to Dairy Queen. All night, Caleb was eying me. He kept flirting and touching my arm in a way that gave me warm fuzzies.

She’s finally growing up.

What do you know about growing up?

I know that you’re doing a good job doing it.

I exhaled. I really like Caleb. Coming was a good idea. But what I’m not looking forward to is going home. I hate it at my house. It’s big and spacious, but Angela always throws parties with the worst people. I almost considered asking Xoee if I could stay at her house, but I have a better chance at not being violated at my house than hers. Her brothers are perverts but wont touch her. They keep their hands to themselves when it comes to Xoee but that’s because she’ll kill them if they try to touch her.