Heart Beat

I’ll never forget the summer I met Alex Young. My name is Tatyana, and if you call me that I’ll rip off your head. It’s Yana. Yana Valisky. I’m not much…just average. I’ve got shoulder-length chestnut hair that I’ve dyed blonde a few times. My eyes switch from hazel to green. My skin is medium tan. Except for that summer. That summer, I was an African princess. But my summer must start at the beginning. Let’s pretend, for a moment, that I am still thirteen. I don’t know Alex Young. It’s July 20, 2009. A beautiful starry night in West Mifflin, PA.
10:45. I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling. The clock is ticking abnormally slow. I have to run. But I can still hear my mother laughing loudly downstairs. I close my eyes and listen to the clock. Tick tock. I wish I could sleep.
11:45. My mother’s laugh is softer now, clouded by sleepiness. She’ll go to bed soon. And then I’ll run. I can already hear my pulse racing, my feet pounding the asphalt.
12:45. The downstairs is silent. Ho hum. I throw back my heavy, stifling quilt and swing my legs over the side of my bed. The floor is cold on my bare feet. I should get carpet. I dress quickly and silently. Black shorts, sports bra, black t-shirt, blue hoodie. Socks, shoes. I zip the hoodie and open my bedroom door.
It’s dark downstairs. I hear my mother’s steady breathing. She won’t even miss me. Won’t know I’m gone. I slip out the back door and out onto Wood Street. The night air feels good.
I walk down the road, not ready to run yet. Turn right onto Home. Then left onto Ravine. I stand at the top of Ravine Street next to Rocko’s King of Wings. I stare into the dark, shadowy road. I long to feel the wind through my hair and the road beneath my feet. I break into a trot.
My loose hair whips my face as I sprint down the street. Feet pounding, heart racing. I’m flying. Faster than a jet. Faster than a cheetah. Faster than anything I’ve ever seen before. Nothing can touch me. Nothing can catch me. Run, Yana! Run! It’s like a natural high. The faster I go…the harder I push myself…the clearer everything becomes. My vision is in a sharp focus. I can see. Everything. I’m a cat. Night-vision and speed. Run, Yana! Run!
I stand with my hands on my knees, doubled over, panting. I turn around. The High-Level Bridge stretches on behind me. 12 miles. Wow. It feels good to run. To be in control of everything. Speed. Distance. Exhilaration. I run back the entire 12 miles.
6:30. I’ve just gotten home. My mother is still sleeping. Good. She doesn’t need to know I’m running again. I know what she’d say. “Yana, you’re only going to hurt yourself. Your dad ran the marathons, but you’re not him. You’re not strong like him.” I’ve heard it a million times before. I slip out of my clothes, and into my bed. But I won’t sleep. Insomnia sucks.
7:30. I’m still awake. Of course I am. I’m always awake. What to do? I could read…I haven’t even touched the summer reading list. Maybe I could work on that. Bah, humbug. I hate reading. It’s boring. So “oo oo ooblie oo” to you, too, Velma. West Side Story. Loved it. I like Romeo and Juliet better, though.
8:30. My mother is coming up the stairs to wake me up. I pretend to sleep. In through the nose, out through the mouth. She buys it. Completely. I am good.
“Tatyana, love? Wake up, dear. It’s time to get up.” Tatyana? That’s not my name. Don’t call me that. I’ll rip your head off and feed it to Chow-Chow, my labradoodle. I roll over and look at her.
“Yana. I’m Yana.” I say. She nods, like she understands. But she doesn’t. She has no clue that I haven’t slept in almost a month. Okay, two weeks. Whatever. It’s still a long time. I get out of bed, trying to act tired…but not TOO tired. Not so tired that I can’t go to Sandcastle today. Breakfast, get dressed, and wait for Helen. My aunt Helen doesn’t have a car. She drives her boyfriend Jeff’s truck. It smells like something died in there. Bet it was Jeff’s dog. Or Jeff. She picks me up and drops me off at the front gates. I’ve got my bag, and it’s heavy. Towel, bikini, suntan lotion, tanning spray, my water bottle, and a pair of shorts. Everything I need. I hope something good happens today. I think it will…yeah. I can feel it.
I’m in the mushroom pool with my best friend, Kelsey Shron. Well actually, we’re sitting on the edge of the pool with our feet in the water. Across the pool from us is this amazingly gorgeous lifeguard…he’s incredible. Light brown hair falling into his eyes. Can’t see what color his eyes are, but I’ll bet they’re gorgeous too. He’s tan. And muscular.
“Kels, what do you think of HIM?” I said, tilting my chin in the lifeguard’s direction. She turns towards him and grins.
“DEFINITELY your type. I think he’s as tan as you!” Kelsey looks at me, and then nods towards the lifeguard. “Go.” I wrinkle my nose. Go where? “Go. Talk. To. Him. I know you want to! Just go. I’ll be here.” I roll my eyes and stand up. Once Kelsey makes up her mind about something, it’s hopeless. I walk around the entire pool twice, checking to make sure I look okay. I decide that I’m glad I wore my new bikini. Finally, I stop beside his chair. Oh God…I can’t believe I’m doing this.
I smile, lean against the chair, and say, “Hi”. He looks at me…and looks away almost at once. My heart drops into my stomach. It takes every ounce of willpower not to turn and run for the hills.
Then he nods once and goes, “Hey”. I smile again. Standing on my tip-toes to see him better, I feel my face getting hot. I hope it’s not red.
“I’m Yana. What’s your name?” Oh my gosh, please don’t ignore me! WOW he’s got…
There’s a longish pause, during which I begin to sweat, before he says, “Ah…Alex.” I breathe a sigh of relief. Alex? Hm…
“Alex…” He looks like an Alex. “Alex.” I feel my lips moving. “You’re cute!”
Hey!
Well, YOU sure weren’t going to say anything! Am I seriously having a fight with myself? What is WRONG with me?! Well…might as well see where this goes. I look up at him through my hair, which has fallen over my eyes. I shove it out of my face. At least…he’s smiling at me now. Oh my gosh, he’s got a beautiful smile. My heart jumps into my throat. I resist the urge to kiss him right then and there. Calm it, Yana. Just chill. You hardly know this guy.
“Thanks. You’re pretty hot yourself.” Did he just wink? OH MY GOD HE DEFINITELY JUST WINKED!!! My face is definitely red now. I can tell. He’s looking down at me. Oh…so his eyes are honey-colored. Sweet. Damn, he’s gorgeous.
“Yana! Girl, let’s get going!” Kelsey sure picked a great time to interfere. I offer him what I hope is an apologetic smile, and turn, and run. Alex…Damn…