Sequel: Four Years ›
Status: Completed. Read the sequel "Four Years" :)
My Saving Grace
Honest Mistake
I had to figure out something to do. I didn't want this damn baby, but I didn't want to abort it.
Abortion was no option for me. I seriously thought of it as murdering a tiny little child. It always broke my heart when I would see pictures of aborted babies. Plus, the mom could get seriously injured as well.
I didn't want to go through that.
"So, you're gonna keep it?" Kara finally asked.
"Yeah. I mean, you know where I stand on abortion and all that jazz," I sighed, falling back onto my pillows. "Also, I don't want Alex to find out that this could possibly be Jack's."
I stared up at the ceiling as I heard Kara sigh, "This could've been prevented."
"Well no shit it could've been prevented," I said, turning my attention to her. "I was just being a whore, like Patrick said."
"Your cousin - sweet and innocent Patrick - called you a whore?" She asked, kind of shocked.
"Yeah, it's that bad," I replied, shaking my head against my pillow. My hair was obviously messed up now, but I didn't care. I had bigger things to worry about. "But he doesn't know about this thing."
"That thing is called a baby. It was created by two wonderful people. Don't beat yourself up over this," Kara said, walking over to my bed. She sat down next to me, laying back.
I looked at her, then back up at the ceiling. It was like the ceiling was going to give me all the answers I needed. I wish it could've.
"Have you thought about adoption?" Kara asked after about a moment of silence.
The ceiling was eventually gonna tell me that...
"Well, now I am thinking about it."
"I think you should tell Alex now. Just forget the possibility that it might be Jack's and tell Alex it's his," She suggested, turning to look at me.
I sighed and sat up, "But what if it's not his? What if...when it comes out, it ends up looking more like Jack than him? What am I gonna do then?"
"I...I don't know..."
***
"Yes, Patrick. I know I'm a whore," I sighed.
Yeah, I called Patrick to tell him. Only because I wanted his help. I needed some advice on what to do, and he seemed like the best person to go to for advice.
Okay, yeah, Kara had good advice with suggesting that I tell Alex, but that wasn't going to happen any time soon. All of her other ideas were so...what I was thinking of.
I needed a fresh set of ideas. That's where Trick came in.
After a long pause, I heard him let out a sigh, "Rachel, this is going to sound so crazy, but just think about it. Okay?"
I nodded my head, even though he couldn't see me.
"Well, from the sound of it, you really just want to run away. You just haven't thought of it yet," He said quietly.
I looked at the floor. He was right. I did want to run away. I wanted to run away from all of my problems. I just wanted to drop everything and leave this place.
I didn't want to tell Alex because I was afraid he'd leave me. But, if I ran, he wouldn't be able to do that to me. Yeah, stupid logic, whatever.
I just wanted out.
But I don't think I had the heart to leave this place though. I had grown to love so many people here. I had grown to love this place. I really don't think I could go.
"Patrick, I'll get back to you on that."
Abortion was no option for me. I seriously thought of it as murdering a tiny little child. It always broke my heart when I would see pictures of aborted babies. Plus, the mom could get seriously injured as well.
I didn't want to go through that.
"So, you're gonna keep it?" Kara finally asked.
"Yeah. I mean, you know where I stand on abortion and all that jazz," I sighed, falling back onto my pillows. "Also, I don't want Alex to find out that this could possibly be Jack's."
I stared up at the ceiling as I heard Kara sigh, "This could've been prevented."
"Well no shit it could've been prevented," I said, turning my attention to her. "I was just being a whore, like Patrick said."
"Your cousin - sweet and innocent Patrick - called you a whore?" She asked, kind of shocked.
"Yeah, it's that bad," I replied, shaking my head against my pillow. My hair was obviously messed up now, but I didn't care. I had bigger things to worry about. "But he doesn't know about this thing."
"That thing is called a baby. It was created by two wonderful people. Don't beat yourself up over this," Kara said, walking over to my bed. She sat down next to me, laying back.
I looked at her, then back up at the ceiling. It was like the ceiling was going to give me all the answers I needed. I wish it could've.
"Have you thought about adoption?" Kara asked after about a moment of silence.
The ceiling was eventually gonna tell me that...
"Well, now I am thinking about it."
"I think you should tell Alex now. Just forget the possibility that it might be Jack's and tell Alex it's his," She suggested, turning to look at me.
I sighed and sat up, "But what if it's not his? What if...when it comes out, it ends up looking more like Jack than him? What am I gonna do then?"
"I...I don't know..."
***
"Yes, Patrick. I know I'm a whore," I sighed.
Yeah, I called Patrick to tell him. Only because I wanted his help. I needed some advice on what to do, and he seemed like the best person to go to for advice.
Okay, yeah, Kara had good advice with suggesting that I tell Alex, but that wasn't going to happen any time soon. All of her other ideas were so...what I was thinking of.
I needed a fresh set of ideas. That's where Trick came in.
After a long pause, I heard him let out a sigh, "Rachel, this is going to sound so crazy, but just think about it. Okay?"
I nodded my head, even though he couldn't see me.
"Well, from the sound of it, you really just want to run away. You just haven't thought of it yet," He said quietly.
I looked at the floor. He was right. I did want to run away. I wanted to run away from all of my problems. I just wanted to drop everything and leave this place.
I didn't want to tell Alex because I was afraid he'd leave me. But, if I ran, he wouldn't be able to do that to me. Yeah, stupid logic, whatever.
I just wanted out.
But I don't think I had the heart to leave this place though. I had grown to love so many people here. I had grown to love this place. I really don't think I could go.
"Patrick, I'll get back to you on that."
♠ ♠ ♠
title credit:// honest mistake - the audition.i failed my german exam. i wanted you all to know. tomorrow is my chem & world history exam. i'm gonna pass those, i know it! :D
WHO DO YOU WANT TO WIN THE WORLD CUP!? :D
I WANT GERMANY. :3
so, what do you guys think? is she gonna run or no?
team stay? team go? team alex? team jack?
so, thoughts? :)
x.