Warmness on the Soul II

How hard is it to drive the speed limit and not 20 over? I swear to God that my mother has a death wish. I clung to the door handle for dear life. I tried closing my eyes to let the car sickness go away but it did nothing. I was so very very scared. I wanted Justin to be here to hold me and make it all go away.
Also, to second that, I was forced not to be able to use a seat belt. Thats right, my mom strapped her own stuff down in the front seat next to her while I sat in the back. With nothing to hold me in. I figured I was going to die.
My hand started to hurt from the death grip I had on the door. I looked over the the mountain of my mothers stuff to see the road. The signs were passing by so fast I could barely read them. I caught a glimpse of one that said Abney 3 miles away.
Great. The start of the second part of hell in my life. I didn’t want anything to do with the people here. I hated moving. I hated everything that went along with it. But most of all, I hated my mom.
Everything went black as she swerved and I hit my head agains the window.
The next thing I remember I was staring at an old farm house that looked like it would fall apart. I got out of the car to look around and flinched when I heard the echo of a shotgun. Great, we are living close to rednecks.
“You’re going to school tomorrow” I never get a goodnight or a sleep tight. Ever.
I nodded my head and drug my two duffle bags to what I chose as my room. I walked in and sighed and started making it like home.
While I was putting my clothes in the closet I came across one of Justin’s hoodies. I stumbled and fell back onto my bed. I felt the warm moist tears start to form and roll down my face. I curled up and let the sweater soak my sadness.
I really had to forget him. If all I can do is find a guy here to help me forget. Thats all I need. I don’t care if they get hurt, I need to fix myself.
I wiped away a tear and sighed deeply. Shower time. I walked into the bathroom and about gagged. The tiles were either covered in mold our none-existent. I looked in the shower and bit my lip.
Mom must have taken a shower earlier. The top of the toilet was dust free and the sickly stained shower looked somewhat usable.
I figured if I died from this it wouldn’t matter. I got in after undressing and washed myself up. Shower time equals thinking time. Thinking time equals depression. Depression equals more stupid thoughts that need to just go away and never come back.
Nothing is the same anymore. This house is old and it smelled funny. I left my heart back with Justin. I’m not alive here. I’m just an empty shell that has nothing left to live for anymore. Life is just a joke. Love doesn’t exist. It’s been decided.
The water started to get cold, I cussed and turned it off. The water heater here doesn’t do its job very well. I dried off my wet body with the towel and put on pajamas. I was going to bed. My new life started a shitty start at my new school tomorrow.
I went towards my new room. Well, it was new to me at least. This house had to have been near 100 years old. It smelled like moth balls. I went to open the window and found out that it was nailed down. A closer look told me it was fresh. My mom is such a bitch.
I wondered why she was planning on doing to me here.
I laid in bed and thought about what was yet to come.