Me or the Music?

Matt's POV

Day three of being in the hospital, Marie's vitals were steadying, but she was in a medically induced coma now, they were going to bring her in to do a scan on her brain to make sure there was no damage from the alcohol or... drugs.

I hadn't left the spot I sat in Wednesday night when we arrived straight from Vegas. Everyone else was filtering in and out though. Checking in on me and bringing me food and what not. I didn't need any of it though, I just needed Marie. This hurt. This hurt knowing that because I left, she was unsupervised long enough to do this to herself. More so that she didn't feel she could talk to me, that she needed to drown herself in substances.

"Mr. Sanders?" A nurse entered the room, I looked up at her, offerring no response "We're going to take her now to the scan room, it should be about two hours, maybe three. You should probably go get some fresh air." She offered a gentle smile "It's gorgeous out today, maybe a walk around the building, you'll most likely be back before us."

"I guess it can't hurt, what else could happen." I sighed and watched as they prepared Marie's bed to be moved. I rested my hand on her's, kissing her knuckles gently "I love you Marie." I whispered before they removed her from the room. I stood and quickly shot Zack a text, telling him they took her for tests and I was going for a walk, so if anyone came not to worry.

I exited the hospital and pulled my hood up over my head. Yes, it was nice out, but the sun was blinding. I fished my pocket for my sunglasses and placed them over my eyes, dual purpose for today. It was bright and I still couldn't go without a tear sliding down my face. I reached up and wiped one off as it escaped. I let my mind mull over whatever it stumbled upon.

I sat down in a small on property park on a bench between two trees. There were nurses with headphones in, walking, jogging, and eating their lunches. I leaned forward, elbows on my knees, and rested my chin on my fists. I took a deep breath and sat back again. I looked up at the sky, the tears falling back towards my ears.

What did I do? How do I fix this? I was hoping for an answer, the last answer I got wasn't to my liking. Cori.. please help me, don't let her go.

I moved back to my previous position, elbows on knees, chin on fists. This was all my fault. I was bad luck, any woman I loved, any woman I cared about, was destined to.. To leave me. I felt my pocket vibrating and retrieved my cell phone.

"Matt? Where are you?" It was Jackie "Where's Marie?"

"They took her to do some scans, I'm in the park outside. Didn't Zack tell you?" I asked.

Jackie's POV

"They took her to do some scans, I'm in the park outside. Didn't Zack tell you?" His voice was so dull of all life, it wasn't his normal monotone voice, but it sounded.. defeated?

"No.. I mean, he may have texted Brian, but someone, took his phone in the shower this morning." I huffed and glared at Brian "So he's out of touch."

"Oh. Well where are you guys?" He asked, not that he cared, he was probably content being alone.

"We just walked in to the room, but we'll come find you. Fresh air is a good idea, Matt. See you soon." I sighed and hung up "He's outside in the park somewhere, I'm guessing the nurses got him to finally go outside." I smiled, I had asked two of Marie's on call nurses to see if they could pressure Matt in to venturing outside, being in this environment for so long couldn't be healthy for him.

"That's good." Brian nodded "Did he say scans? For what?"

"I'm guessing brain damage. I mean, she's in a medical coma right now, so she might as well just come out when they wake her up. But.." I bit my lip as we rounded the outside corner, the park coming in to view "But she may not be Marie." I held Brian's hand as we approached a very sulky Matt, he was visibly crying, whether he though the hoodie and glasses covered it up or not, he was wrong.

"I know. Her blood alcohol was so high.." Brian muttered before we got in ear shot. "Hey." Brian sat next to Matt quickly, putting his arm on his shoulder "Finally got outside I see."

"Yah. They took her anyways so why not." He mumbled "What else could really go wrong? She's already in a coma."

"Matt, it's a medical coma, they'll take her out soon as they know her brain is ok." I sat on his other side, laying my head on his shoulder "It'll be ok, Matty. She just needs us more than ever."

"I know that." He hissed "And I fucking left her."

"Don't blame yourself, man, that will only cause issues." Brian shook his head "How long did they say she'd be in there?"

"Two to three hours.. I've been out here for one." He looked at the sky, "And I feel like it's been a decade."

"I know." I sighed, "I wonder if they'll find anything. Like.. Brain related."

"Probably." Matt murmured as his phone rang "Hello?" He paused "This is him." He paused again, his eyes scanning the surroundings from under his dark sunglasses "Yup, be right there." He slid his phone away "One of her doctors wants to talk to me, she's still in scanning, but apparently he needs to talk to me."

"Want us to come?" Brian asked "We have absolutely nothing to do today so we're here."

"If you want, I don't think she'd mind." Matt stood and without a beat began walking back to the door.

Brian and I trailed behind. I couldn't help the feeling of my heart breaking for Matt, why this was always his life being torn and ripped and shredded was beyond me. I wasn't sure why we all got the luck, but my mind pushed out all thoughts to the other side. Was it because of Corinne? Was it because he put her through so much? I mean, we would never understsand what she went through, none of us would know the true pain her heart was in all those years that he would return to her. Maybe this was karma in it's truest form, and that thought burnt more than any other in my mind. He didn't deserve this, he was trying, he was doing everything. But maybe it wasn't enough. Maybe this was his destiny now, because Corinne's life ended in misery because of him, was that how he was to live? In misery because of his actions towards her?

I just wish it wasn't hurting Marie like this. She was so sweet, so young, and such an amazing woman. All she wanted was happiness and yet she couldn't happen to catch a break. First Eric, then her Grandmother while they toured, then leaving home to be with Matt so far away from her family, and then her parents divorce plus her mother's suicide. In the small span she'd been in our lives my head shook at the thought of her pain.

We entered the hospital, Matt still in our sights. We followed him, his head hung down low, his hood still on, but his sunglasses removed, to Marie's room. The doctor was waiting with a chart in his hands. He glanced up as the three of us walked in, they were all used to sharing personal news with the rest of us in the room by now it wasn't even a question. Matt had blown up about that the first night when the doctor refused to give him information because Brian and Zack were in the room, Hannah and I were still down finding food, and very glad we missed Matt's outburst. I don't believe I could have held myself together, I can only imagine his emotions raging at that point.

"Mister Sanders." The doctor gestured for us all to sit. We oblidged "So we began the scans and tests-"

My eyes tuned in to Matt's facial expressions, the tears releasing from his eyelids, my ears listening to the doctor but focused on Matt's responses. Brian was holding my hand tightly, squeezing now and then at certain words leaving the doctors mout.

"So... what you're saying is?" Brian asked for Matt, considering he was choking on his tears and holding his mouth with his hands. My heart ached again.

"During the test on her heart, we noticed a significant weakness. We can almost guarantee she will develop Cardiomyopathy, a heart muscle disease where she has a higher risk of stroke and complete heart failure. Also smaller issues such as trouble breathing. But we're also monitoring her liver. There were small signs of cirrhosis, which can lead to Cancer. Her brain scans looked ok, definitely a small lack of Oxygen while she was breathless, but I didn't see any signs of permanent damage. She also is going to have severe nerve damage in her hands and feet caused by Peripheral Neuropathy. It will cause pain, like a pins and needles sensation in her outer extremities, and could cause weakness and numbness. So she could be a fall risk."

"Oh." Brian nodded "I didn't realize any of that from the previous statements.." He looked over at Matt, obviously he had, considering his currently hightened upset mood. I stood up and walked over to him, putting my arms around his shoulders as his face burried in to my arms, holding them and sobbing.

"So when do you think she will be taken out of her coma?" I asked, rubbing Matt's back, trying my best to help console him.

"She should be taken back here within the hour, the scans went faster than we anticipated considering most was easy to read. They'll try to wake her up by two." He looked at his watch "So about three hours now, maybe sooner depending on how getting her back in here goes... I'm so sorry, Mister Sanders." He sighed "I wish you the best, and we're going to take the best care of your wife and get her on the right track as soon as she's awake."

"Thank you." Matt stammered, his teeth clamping down on his bottom lip while a sob wracked his body.

I glanced over at Brian. He was in the same situation as Matt. I sighed and sat on the arm of Matt's chair, knowing that Brian would be fine, but Matt needed support more than anything. I can't imagine how he felt at this moment. I just couldn't.