‹ Prequel: You're Not Alone.
Status: Active
Me or the Music?
22
Jackie's POV
Her heart could fail. Her hands and feet could be numb and fail her. Her liver was going to shut down and give her cancer, or fail and kill her. Also the doctor who returned Marie to her room added that she would most likely had episodes of blacking out due to the trauma caused in her brain from her alcohol blood level.
Mat had fallen asleep on the small couch in the room, Brian had left to go help his dad with something to do with the wedding, so I stayed with Matt. No one really wanted him to be alone too long here. They had brought Marie back in about two hours ago, and given her the medication to wake up. They removed the tube from her throat and replaced it with an Oxygen tube under her nose. Her IV's stayed connected though.
Her eyes were beginning to flutter open, I wasn't sure if I should wake Matt or not yet so I waited. Her bright green eyes popped open and she looked around slowly, her eyes falling on me. Immediately tears flowed down her cheeks, her hand came up and clasped her mouth. She coughed hard and sat up, yanking at a cord before I could make it to her side.
I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight as she sobbed silently in to my side. She pulled back and stared up at me "I don't know why." She mumbled to me, obviously not seeing Matt sleeping yet "I just... It all hurt so much-"
"Shh." I calmed her, running my hand over her hair as she sobbed into my arms "It's going to be ok, Marie."
"No it's not!" She cried, I knew Matt would be awake soon, and since my body was blocking him from Marie's view I wasn't sure how this would go "I'm probably going to die!" She cried.
"Marie, it's not-"
"I could hear everything they said, I wasn't deaf, Jackie." She wiped at her face, taking in to account the tube beneath her nose and the needles in her arms like a pin cushion. "My heart is going to fail, my liver is failing, and I'm going to fall everywhere."
"You'll be ok, Marie. We will take such good care of you." I whispered, kissing the top of her head.
"I don't deserve it." She mumbled "Any of you. I really don't... Fuck." She sighed "Matt..."
"Hunny, you need to focus on you right now-"
"He probably hates me.." She laughed sarcastically "If he said no to a divorce before he's probably trying to file for one now." She looked down at her hands "I'm a fucking mess. I've been nothing but a mess for him. I've done nothing but cause issues, drama, cause him pain." She sobbed "Jackie, what the fuck did I do? I fucking ruined everything, again. Again." She held her face in her hands, tears quickly soaking in to the sheet covering her legs "I fucking forced him to stay with me, he bought me a fucking house, and here I am being so pitiful and rude.. And ungrateful.." She looked up at me, her eyes now scanning the room. They pinned behind me and her flesh, if it was possible, turned even whiter than it was.
"Excuse me?" Matt's voice was hoarse, tired, and weary.
"Matt.." Marie breathed quietly, blinking quickly to ensure he was real. I moved off her bed as Matt walked over to her side.
"You think I would leave you for this?" He asked "Marie, you're more dumb than I thought." I squinted at his words, those weren't exactly the most loving Matt.. "First you think these things help you.. Then you think I'll leave you? Because you're hurting and confused?" He asked "Do you think that little of me?"
"All I do is cause you harm, Matt." Marie wiped her eyes as Matt stood, arms crossed, at the side of her bed. "I'm always worrying you-"
"That's my job as your husband, is to worry for you. I'm meant to protect you, hold you, keep you safe, provide for you, and love you Marie." He stared at her, arms still crossed "And this," He gestured around, "This worries me more than anything. Why? Why would you fucking do this? Cocaine, Marie, Cocaine?!" His voice cracked from all of the crying.
Her face fell in to her hands, tears dripping from her palms to her wrists, her body shaking. Suddenly one of her monitors spiked, causing an alarm to go off. Matt stepped back as her arms dropped to her sides, her body falling limp against the bed.
"Marie!" He screeched, his voice sounding like his vocal cords were completely torn in pieces. He dropped to his knees at her bed. Three nurses rushed in, checking her vital signs and quickly placing a vial in her IV. The noises leveled out and they left. Matt looked up at Marie, her face pale, her skin damp. "What... ?" He looked to me.
I shrugged "I'm guessing her heart rate escalated.. And they had to bring her down." I pointed at the machine, her heart rate was stable now.
He nodded and stood, sitting on the edge of her bed, taking her hand in his. Tears still flowing his eyes. He leaned over and rested his head in her lap, drifting back to sleep as the medication worked it's way in to Marie's system.
I could tell this would be a long week.
Her heart could fail. Her hands and feet could be numb and fail her. Her liver was going to shut down and give her cancer, or fail and kill her. Also the doctor who returned Marie to her room added that she would most likely had episodes of blacking out due to the trauma caused in her brain from her alcohol blood level.
Mat had fallen asleep on the small couch in the room, Brian had left to go help his dad with something to do with the wedding, so I stayed with Matt. No one really wanted him to be alone too long here. They had brought Marie back in about two hours ago, and given her the medication to wake up. They removed the tube from her throat and replaced it with an Oxygen tube under her nose. Her IV's stayed connected though.
Her eyes were beginning to flutter open, I wasn't sure if I should wake Matt or not yet so I waited. Her bright green eyes popped open and she looked around slowly, her eyes falling on me. Immediately tears flowed down her cheeks, her hand came up and clasped her mouth. She coughed hard and sat up, yanking at a cord before I could make it to her side.
I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight as she sobbed silently in to my side. She pulled back and stared up at me "I don't know why." She mumbled to me, obviously not seeing Matt sleeping yet "I just... It all hurt so much-"
"Shh." I calmed her, running my hand over her hair as she sobbed into my arms "It's going to be ok, Marie."
"No it's not!" She cried, I knew Matt would be awake soon, and since my body was blocking him from Marie's view I wasn't sure how this would go "I'm probably going to die!" She cried.
"Marie, it's not-"
"I could hear everything they said, I wasn't deaf, Jackie." She wiped at her face, taking in to account the tube beneath her nose and the needles in her arms like a pin cushion. "My heart is going to fail, my liver is failing, and I'm going to fall everywhere."
"You'll be ok, Marie. We will take such good care of you." I whispered, kissing the top of her head.
"I don't deserve it." She mumbled "Any of you. I really don't... Fuck." She sighed "Matt..."
"Hunny, you need to focus on you right now-"
"He probably hates me.." She laughed sarcastically "If he said no to a divorce before he's probably trying to file for one now." She looked down at her hands "I'm a fucking mess. I've been nothing but a mess for him. I've done nothing but cause issues, drama, cause him pain." She sobbed "Jackie, what the fuck did I do? I fucking ruined everything, again. Again." She held her face in her hands, tears quickly soaking in to the sheet covering her legs "I fucking forced him to stay with me, he bought me a fucking house, and here I am being so pitiful and rude.. And ungrateful.." She looked up at me, her eyes now scanning the room. They pinned behind me and her flesh, if it was possible, turned even whiter than it was.
"Excuse me?" Matt's voice was hoarse, tired, and weary.
"Matt.." Marie breathed quietly, blinking quickly to ensure he was real. I moved off her bed as Matt walked over to her side.
"You think I would leave you for this?" He asked "Marie, you're more dumb than I thought." I squinted at his words, those weren't exactly the most loving Matt.. "First you think these things help you.. Then you think I'll leave you? Because you're hurting and confused?" He asked "Do you think that little of me?"
"All I do is cause you harm, Matt." Marie wiped her eyes as Matt stood, arms crossed, at the side of her bed. "I'm always worrying you-"
"That's my job as your husband, is to worry for you. I'm meant to protect you, hold you, keep you safe, provide for you, and love you Marie." He stared at her, arms still crossed "And this," He gestured around, "This worries me more than anything. Why? Why would you fucking do this? Cocaine, Marie, Cocaine?!" His voice cracked from all of the crying.
Her face fell in to her hands, tears dripping from her palms to her wrists, her body shaking. Suddenly one of her monitors spiked, causing an alarm to go off. Matt stepped back as her arms dropped to her sides, her body falling limp against the bed.
"Marie!" He screeched, his voice sounding like his vocal cords were completely torn in pieces. He dropped to his knees at her bed. Three nurses rushed in, checking her vital signs and quickly placing a vial in her IV. The noises leveled out and they left. Matt looked up at Marie, her face pale, her skin damp. "What... ?" He looked to me.
I shrugged "I'm guessing her heart rate escalated.. And they had to bring her down." I pointed at the machine, her heart rate was stable now.
He nodded and stood, sitting on the edge of her bed, taking her hand in his. Tears still flowing his eyes. He leaned over and rested his head in her lap, drifting back to sleep as the medication worked it's way in to Marie's system.
I could tell this would be a long week.