‹ Prequel: You're Not Alone.
Status: Active
Me or the Music?
26
Matt's POV
The next morning, Marie and Bax had gone for a walk to the beach, she was stressing after our conversation last night and needed air. I let her go, figuring telling her it wasn't safe for her to be alone would make it worse. At least she had Bax with her.
I sat on the couch, taking in the silence of the large house. The plan had been to move, start a family, and live our life finally. But I don't really think Marie kept in mind the fact I still had the band, obviously, we were going to be touring again soon. She wasn't near healthy enough to carry a child, or even take care of a newborn after the fact. I sighed and clicked the TV on, more for background noise than anything else.
I wasn't going to watch, who was I kidding? I was going to sit here and let my mind wander way too far. Too far..
Marie's POV
I took Bax by his leash and walked down the street. Heading towards the quiet piece of beach by our house. His padded feet keeping my company as they gently treaded next to me.
I couldn't help but worry. What if this would affect me having children? I hadn't asked the doctor that, I had only wanted to get the hell out of that hospital. I found a quiet piece of sand and sat down, Bax snuggled up next to me. You know, I felt somewhat annoyed that I needed someone with me constantly, but at the same time.. Who could get annoyed with a dog? I laughed to myself and laid my head on my folded up blanket by his own. He sniffed at my ear before laying his nose next to me.
I looked up at the sky and sighed. Knowing Eric was looking down I let a tear slip down my cheek.
"I'm so sorry." I whispered, wiping my eye "I failed... I'm sorry." I felt a weight lift from my chest and knew he forgave me.
Mistakes were what we did as humans, and Eric knew that. He would always brush off any mistake we made in the band, in life, at all. Mistakes were part of growing.
What if I couldn't have kids now though? What if I ruined that semblance of normalcy for Matt and I? He was still in the band obviously, they weren't all going to stop and begin living the same just because we did. They were bound to tour again soon, and how would that work if we did have a child? Would I be able to even carry a full term? Would I be ok to be home alone taking care of a newborn?
I glanced down at my feet and sat up, alarming Bax but he didn't bark. He knew when to and not to. Did I completely ruin Matt and my future? Did I just sabotage us from the inside, literally? I looked down at my phone and began dialing an all too familiar number. But the disconnected signal reminded me of that reality.
"Mom." I whispered quietly, not having come to terms with it sober yet. Or at all for that matter. My fingers twitched against the metal and I placed it in my lap, feeling hot tears release from my eyes. I held my face in my hands as Bax snuggled in to my hip. How had she done it for so long? Knowing dad wasn't fully happy, yet she tried her hardest? Neither of them believed in divorce, but I guess thirty-five years was too long? They were in their fifties, why now? Why not earlier? I sighed huffed in a breath, feeling my chest tighten slightly. I looked at the time on my phone and rolled my eyes.
I had forgotten my medication this morning. I rummaged through my purse and bit my lip, noticing Bax's ears perking towards me. I couldn't locate the bottle in my bag anywhere and stood up "Well." I motioned to Bax and he stood, letting me clip his leash on him without any issue. I mean that's what he was trained for anyways.
We began our venture home, every step increasing the pain in my chest. By the time we reached the doorway, I couldn't turn the handle my hands were numb. I groaned and kicked at the door.
"Matt!" I shouted from the doorway, holding Bax's leash around my wrist since my hands couldn't close.
I heard a thud and the door opened "You ok?" Matt asked "Did you forget your keys..?"
"No." I lifted my hands, letting them hang limp in the air. He nodded with a quiet oh and undid Bax's leash for me. "I didn't take my meds either, and I hurt." I winced, holding my chest and walking to the stairs.
"I'll get them." Matt placed his hands on my hips and kissed my neck "I'll be right back."
"Thanks." I managed and took a seat on the sofa, realizing Matt had the TV on some dumb news station. I laughed and observed Bax circling the room, eyes trained on me "It's ok buddy, he's helping me."
He almost looked relieved, like he understood, and took his spot under the coffee table as Matt quickly returned also with a glass of water. He handed me the pills as I swallowed them down.
"Just relax, do you want anything to eat?" He asked, pausing at the back of the couch.
"Uh... no, I'm fine. I was actually gonna call Hannah, maybe Jackie, and see if they wanted to go out tonight." I shrugged "I'm so tired of being stuck here."
"You need to rest, Marie." He stared at me "You can't be going out, you need to get better. At your appointment next week you an ask your doctor and see what she thinks."
I groaned "One night isn't going to kill me, Matt." I stared in to his brown eyes, reading the concern written all over them "I'll even bring Bax."
"Really?" He raised an eyebrow "Because I'll be at Jimmy's so I won't know if you brought him or not." His arms crossed over his chest.
"Matt-"
"Marie." He returned to me, I snarled at him "So scary little miss lightweight." He smiled at me "And you can't drink anyways, you aren't allowed to drink until your liver function is back to normal."
"I know." I glared at the floor, "Whatever. I won't then. Just go to Jimmy's, I'll be here."
"Come have lunch with me first, I'll leave a little later. He won't care." Matt took my hand and brought me to the kitchen. Bax stayed in his spot, being in close enough proximity to me he could monitor me.
I stared blankly at the wall as Matt made us some lunch, wishing my mind wasn't on the road that it was currently. But I wanted to go out... so badly.
The next morning, Marie and Bax had gone for a walk to the beach, she was stressing after our conversation last night and needed air. I let her go, figuring telling her it wasn't safe for her to be alone would make it worse. At least she had Bax with her.
I sat on the couch, taking in the silence of the large house. The plan had been to move, start a family, and live our life finally. But I don't really think Marie kept in mind the fact I still had the band, obviously, we were going to be touring again soon. She wasn't near healthy enough to carry a child, or even take care of a newborn after the fact. I sighed and clicked the TV on, more for background noise than anything else.
I wasn't going to watch, who was I kidding? I was going to sit here and let my mind wander way too far. Too far..
Marie's POV
I took Bax by his leash and walked down the street. Heading towards the quiet piece of beach by our house. His padded feet keeping my company as they gently treaded next to me.
I couldn't help but worry. What if this would affect me having children? I hadn't asked the doctor that, I had only wanted to get the hell out of that hospital. I found a quiet piece of sand and sat down, Bax snuggled up next to me. You know, I felt somewhat annoyed that I needed someone with me constantly, but at the same time.. Who could get annoyed with a dog? I laughed to myself and laid my head on my folded up blanket by his own. He sniffed at my ear before laying his nose next to me.
I looked up at the sky and sighed. Knowing Eric was looking down I let a tear slip down my cheek.
"I'm so sorry." I whispered, wiping my eye "I failed... I'm sorry." I felt a weight lift from my chest and knew he forgave me.
Mistakes were what we did as humans, and Eric knew that. He would always brush off any mistake we made in the band, in life, at all. Mistakes were part of growing.
What if I couldn't have kids now though? What if I ruined that semblance of normalcy for Matt and I? He was still in the band obviously, they weren't all going to stop and begin living the same just because we did. They were bound to tour again soon, and how would that work if we did have a child? Would I be able to even carry a full term? Would I be ok to be home alone taking care of a newborn?
I glanced down at my feet and sat up, alarming Bax but he didn't bark. He knew when to and not to. Did I completely ruin Matt and my future? Did I just sabotage us from the inside, literally? I looked down at my phone and began dialing an all too familiar number. But the disconnected signal reminded me of that reality.
"Mom." I whispered quietly, not having come to terms with it sober yet. Or at all for that matter. My fingers twitched against the metal and I placed it in my lap, feeling hot tears release from my eyes. I held my face in my hands as Bax snuggled in to my hip. How had she done it for so long? Knowing dad wasn't fully happy, yet she tried her hardest? Neither of them believed in divorce, but I guess thirty-five years was too long? They were in their fifties, why now? Why not earlier? I sighed huffed in a breath, feeling my chest tighten slightly. I looked at the time on my phone and rolled my eyes.
I had forgotten my medication this morning. I rummaged through my purse and bit my lip, noticing Bax's ears perking towards me. I couldn't locate the bottle in my bag anywhere and stood up "Well." I motioned to Bax and he stood, letting me clip his leash on him without any issue. I mean that's what he was trained for anyways.
We began our venture home, every step increasing the pain in my chest. By the time we reached the doorway, I couldn't turn the handle my hands were numb. I groaned and kicked at the door.
"Matt!" I shouted from the doorway, holding Bax's leash around my wrist since my hands couldn't close.
I heard a thud and the door opened "You ok?" Matt asked "Did you forget your keys..?"
"No." I lifted my hands, letting them hang limp in the air. He nodded with a quiet oh and undid Bax's leash for me. "I didn't take my meds either, and I hurt." I winced, holding my chest and walking to the stairs.
"I'll get them." Matt placed his hands on my hips and kissed my neck "I'll be right back."
"Thanks." I managed and took a seat on the sofa, realizing Matt had the TV on some dumb news station. I laughed and observed Bax circling the room, eyes trained on me "It's ok buddy, he's helping me."
He almost looked relieved, like he understood, and took his spot under the coffee table as Matt quickly returned also with a glass of water. He handed me the pills as I swallowed them down.
"Just relax, do you want anything to eat?" He asked, pausing at the back of the couch.
"Uh... no, I'm fine. I was actually gonna call Hannah, maybe Jackie, and see if they wanted to go out tonight." I shrugged "I'm so tired of being stuck here."
"You need to rest, Marie." He stared at me "You can't be going out, you need to get better. At your appointment next week you an ask your doctor and see what she thinks."
I groaned "One night isn't going to kill me, Matt." I stared in to his brown eyes, reading the concern written all over them "I'll even bring Bax."
"Really?" He raised an eyebrow "Because I'll be at Jimmy's so I won't know if you brought him or not." His arms crossed over his chest.
"Matt-"
"Marie." He returned to me, I snarled at him "So scary little miss lightweight." He smiled at me "And you can't drink anyways, you aren't allowed to drink until your liver function is back to normal."
"I know." I glared at the floor, "Whatever. I won't then. Just go to Jimmy's, I'll be here."
"Come have lunch with me first, I'll leave a little later. He won't care." Matt took my hand and brought me to the kitchen. Bax stayed in his spot, being in close enough proximity to me he could monitor me.
I stared blankly at the wall as Matt made us some lunch, wishing my mind wasn't on the road that it was currently. But I wanted to go out... so badly.