P.S. I Hate You

Chapter Two-“I’m In This No Matter What”

PREGNANT. There is was in plain sight. I was pregnant, and with Ethan’s baby none the less. I can’t be pregnant. I thought in denial, I grabbed another out of the six I had brought. It responded with the same answer, PREGNANT. Tears rolled down my face set in. I’m pregnant. “What am I going to do?” I asked myself. “I can’t be a mother. I’m only 18, I’m suppose to be going to college in the fall.”
*Knock Knock*
“Nick?” Sam called from the other side of my personal bathroom door. “What does it say?” she asked, her voice shaking. She found out about what happened between me and Ethan a week ago. That was the time I realized that I hadn’t seen my little friend in two months.
I cracked the door open.
She saw my face and immediately pulled me into an hug. She cried with me.
“It’s ok we’ll get through it I promise.” she said trying to comfort me.
“Really? What is dad going to say? He’ll never trust me again.” I starting to cry again.
“Screw him. He’ll get the fuck over it.” she said making me laugh.
“I love you Sam, you’re the best sister anyone can have.” I told her, and it was true there wasn’t anybody like her and I don’t know what I would do if she wasn’t here with me.
“Dad won’t be back for a week or two, so in the mean time we need to tell the jack-ass of an father about his unborn child.” Sam said bringing me back to reality.
******
It was lunch time and I decided that I couldn’t hold off telling Ethan anymore. I’ve been avoiding him all day, really I’ve been avoiding everyone except Sam. I walked into the cafeteria and looked around for Ethan. I spotted him sitting at his usual table, I stirred up as much courage as I could and started over to him. He was laughing and joking around with Jamie when I got there.
“Ummm-Mm.” I said hoping to get some attention.
“Hello?” when I didn’t and response.
Everybody head at that table snapped up.
“Ummm. Ethan may I talk to you.” I asked felling very vulnerable.
“And why would I get you the honor of doing that?” he stated cockily.
“Because it’s important.” I spat getting irritated with him. How could I have giving my virginity to an asshole like him?! I scolded myself.
“I’m actually very busy.” he said trying to brush me away like his usual play things. He turned and started his conversation again. Jamie looked at me with knowing and terrified eyes. I grabbed Ethan by his shirt and dragged him out of the cafeteria, he was moving and pulling trying to get away. Everyone looked at us as I made my way out. Once we were out of everybody sight.
“What the fuck is your problem!” he spat at me as he brushed himself off.
“My fucking problem is that you fucking got me pregnant! And DON’T try to fucking deny it because you know for an fact that it was my first. Now if you want an pregnancy test we can go get one right now, and an DNA test as well. I’m not dealing with any bullshit from you.” I yelled at him. He stood dumb founded as he stared at me. Tears started rolling down my face as I tried to calm down. He continued to stare at me.
“Did you hear anything I just said!” I spat trying to get attention. He snapped out of it.
“You need to get an abortion.” he told me seriously.
“You can just give that up right now, buddy. Because I refuse to throw my baby’s life out because his dead beat father decides he doesn’t want to take care of his business. You know what? I knew I should’ve just kept this to myself.” I turn to walk away, when he grabbed me and pulled me back.
“Look, I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking when I said that. But what are we going to do? I can’t take care of a baby right now. I already have too much on my plate right now, and you don’t even know the half of it.” he told me sincerely.
“Well, you need to figure it out. Because if you walk away now, be sure because you WON’T be in your baby’s life in the future. Either you in it or your not.” I told him seriously.
“Okay, look I’m tell you everything. But you can’t tell anybody and then we’ll get this whole thing situated. Even though this is very soon. I want to be in my baby’s life no matter what.” I looked in his eyes. I saw fear, determination, sincerity. Tears started to fall as I realized that he really wanted to have this baby with me and that he wasn’t being an asshole about this.
“Okay, my house after school. We talk.” and with that I walked away.

*******
“Nick! Come to the door you have an visitor!” Sam called from downstairs. I’m guessing that Ethan’s here from the way she sounded. I hurried down the stairs before Sam rip him to pieces. I walked into the living room to see Sam talking to Ethan rather harshly and to him looking very terrified of my older sister. I rushed over to pulled him up and pushed him over to the stairs.
“Sam, could you please try not to kill my baby’s father?” I asked her. She looked pissed.
“I could care less if he was our President. I fucking hate his guts. And you should too, after what he did to you. He fucked you, then ignored you like it was nothing then he GOT YOU PREGGERS!” she spat at me. Tears ran now my face as the hormones of pregnancy started kick in. Lately I’ve been crying about everything. If I couldn’t find my shoes, I cried. If I couldn’t fix my hair the way I wanted, I cried. I cried because I wa crying about useless things. But what she just said was kind of harsh, even coming from Sam. I turned and ran to my room, I bumped into Ethan. He was still standing there, he heard everything and ran after me. I was in my room crying when he knock on my door and asked if he could come in.
“Come on.” I said to him.
“How are you doing?” he asked sweetly.
“Who are you and what have you done with Ethan?” I asked him, looking him up and down. He laughed, it sent shivers up and down my spine. He laugh was so smooth and rich, that I couldn’t stand it. I looked away from him.
“It’s me, the same old Ethan. But I need to be mature about this. I can’t treat you like the other girls. You say you’re carrying my baby, and I believe you.” he sad truthfully. I was taking back by his statement.
“Okay, now to you and your full plate. What’s going on?” I asked him straightforwardly.
“Wow, you really get to the point huh?” he said laughing his laugh again. “Well it all starts with my baby sister Haley. I need to get her away from my dysfunctional family.” he said seriously. I decided not to push him on this and to let him say what he wanted to say to me.
“Ever since my father lost his job at an big law firm, he started drinking and becoming abusive. It wasn’t that noticeable, until he started to hit on me and my mother. He would beat us with belts for no reason. If the food wasn’t hot he would whoop us. If he thought the house looked a mess, when my mom spent all day cleaning, terrified that he would come home drunk. Haley was born right before all this started to happen. And that didn’t help, when she cried he beat my mom. When she smelled from and dirty diaper, he beat my mom. When I defended her and tried to help her, he beat me. I asked my mom repeatly why don’t we leave? And every time her response would be she loved her abusive husband.
Tears soaked my face as I listened to his sad, story. I can believe someone could be so cruel and careless. I moved to him and hugged him with everything in my being. He hugged me back and a single tear rolled down his face.
“I’m so sorry Ethan.” I told him sincerely. He wiped his face and a pulled back.
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m moving out in a month or two of trying to at least. And I’ve been working my butt of so that I can get and lawyer to get custody of Haley.” he told me seriously.
“I’m the one who should be sorry for what I said to you. Even if I have a lot on my plate that didn’t give me the right to tell the girl who’s pregnant with my baby to get an abortion.” he told me. “I’m in this no matter what.”