You're Flying

My throat is suddenly dry and bare like a desert. The air around us tenses, immediately. If someone were to get a knife, they could cut it and eat it for a full size dinner, plus left over.

I don’t know what to say. I have absolutely no idea, because I didn’t remember that, but Dom had said we did…

My palms are sweating and limbs shaking. I slept with Dom…really? Are you fucking serious? No way…it can’t be true…can it?

I try thinking this over. I did wake up in his room so that makes sense, but it’s Dom. We’re more like brothers than anything else but we aren’t…

I don’t know how I feel about this new piece of information, mad or happy? Is it bad that I’m kind of…ok with it? It’s Dom though and I know that there’s not anything wrong with him so maybe that’s why I’m ok with it, because I know it was safe sex…

That doesn’t sound quit right to me though.It’s something else that I don’t really want to admit to…

I feel Dom’s eyes on me and I look at the clock to see I have been silent for almost ten minutes. Like a fish out of water, my mouth opens and closes. I know I look insanely stupid, standing here with absolutely no idea what to say, but can you blame me?

I know I should say something, but I can’t. I should talk to him about this, but I can’t seem to gather up the courage to do so…so I make up an excuse. “I promised Donnie I’d be home soon…I got to go.”

And before Dom can do a thing I’m bolting out the door, running as fast as my legs can take me because I honestly have no idea what to do…

~

Donnie is in the living room, I can hear the TV from here. When I got home I quickly excused myself to my bedroom, not bothering to tell him what happened between Dom and I. I’m not sure how he might react to it…so it’s better that for now he stays ignorant.

Shit. What should I do? What can I do?

Walk up to him and say oh, now that I know we had sex I understand why you’ve been such and a dick and I’m sorry that I said all those cruel things to you, but can we still be friends?

Yeah, that will work!Sarcasm.

I groan and try burying myself into my bed, praying for it to just suck me up that way I don’t have to ever face Dom again. I don’t want to see him hurt. I don’t want to see him angry. I don’t want to hear those cruel words he throws my way.

I just want things to be normal again! If only I hadn’t gotten drunk that night then…none of this would have happened! We’d be normal. We’d still be friends…do I still want to be just his friend?

For hours I lie in my bed, thinking about Dom, thinking about what we did, about what we could do, could be and the more I thought about it…the more I liked it, the more it made sense.

I should have realized it sooner. He was always flirting with me, but I thought it was a friendly flirt…I guess it wasn’t. It’s not like I didn’t enjoy the things he said to me either, actually I enjoyed them. They made my heart hammer and chest explode with butterflies.

Besides, being drunk brings out the truth, doesn’t it? I can’t say that I don’t find Dom attractive either. Actually, he’s extremely good looking and I can’t blame my drunk self for wanting him. Even being sober makes me want him…

But…he drinks. Can we really be anything? Can we even hold a relationship when all he does is drunk? Is he mature enough for a relationship, one that I want, is a better question?

And what about Donnie? We’ve only been dating for a little over two months and I do like him. He’s such a sweet heart and fun to be around,but he isn’t Dom. How will he react to it? He is my room mate, I’ll have to put up with him for the rest of the year.

And what about Quince? Oh my, if Dom and I get together than he’ll be watching us like a hawk I know it.

I sigh and think it over for the rest of the evening until I wake up the next morning with my mind set on one thing…

~

I’m standing in front of Quince’s apartment. I haven’t seen or heard from these two in a week. I’ve been too scared to answer the calls. I’ve been too scared to come over and face either of them. I have to though…

I have no idea what I’m doing or if it’s even a good idea, but I have to do it…if I don’t the relationship I have with Dom can be destroyed forever and no, I don’t want that. I want to fix this because it is kind of my fault in the first place.

If I hadn’t gotten so wasted I might have remembered but then…maybe it wouldn’t have happened. I’m kind of so and so with it right now, but lets forget that and get to the point.

I inhale, try to build up my courage, and open the door. I do it quietly so neither of them can hear me. I don’t want them to just in case I chicken out.

I move through the house, noticing how dirty it is. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be, but I guess that’s Quince doing it. He has been drinking less and spending more time with me because of what was happening between Dom and I so…I guess he tried to clean up. I giggle just thinking about him attempting to clean, it’s such a funny scenario, but I push that aside and focus on getting to Dom’s room.

It feels like my feet are chained to the floor when I get to his door. I stare it like I’m expecting it to move and eat me, but it doesn’t and after a while I reach out and push the door open. It creaks open, allowing light to fill the room and show a lump under the covers.

My face flush as I think about it…so Dom and I had…

I walk across his room quietly. I get to the side of his bed and ask myself; should I really do this? What if this doesn’t work? I don’t know what or how I’ll deal with myself if it doesn’t.

Suddenly, Dom begins to stir and I realize, there’s no going back now. I take a deep breath and watch his eyes flutter open. Groggily, he looks up at me and blinks multiple times. When he realizes it’s me he opens his mouth to speak…but I cut him off with my lips…

And God does it feel amazing. They’re so soft and warm. They’re better than I ever imagined and I can’t believe I’ve waited so long to do this,at least sober…

I reach down to curl my fingers in his hair. I move my lips in sync with his own and damn, I don’t want to pull away for that pointless thing called air. I just want to stay like this forever with my lips on his because…fuck, if it’s this good to kiss him then the sex must have been insane.

I finally pull away and as expected Dom is looking at me with shock in his eyes. I know he’s probably asking himself why I did what I did, so I answer him before he asks, “I broke up with him.”

“What?” He asks, obviously confused.

“Donnie…I broke up with him.”

His eyes blink rapidly and he sits up. I look up at him and watch his expressions, going from shock, happiness, and sadness. “Angel…why did you-”

“Because,” I reply, a blush now making its way onto my face as I look down at my feet. “I…thought about it…and well I…I really like you, Dom. I always have whether I wanted to admit to it or not.”