This Is Not Your Playground, It's My Heart

"Holey Crap!"

My morning started out slightly terrifing. After dreams that my mother was killed my crack heads, I awoke to something slobbering all over my face. At first, it scared the crap out of me, but when I opened my eyes to find a large black and white dog, I let out a deep breath. I knew my father would never have a dog, so the fence in the yard started to make sense. I suppose I did have something in common with Judith. I adored animals.

"Nice collie," I smiled at Judith once I finished dressing. I had come down the stairs to grab myself some breakfast, but she was already fast at work. "What's his name?"

"Domino." She gave me a sweet smile. I thought it to be funny how she was dressed in a bright pink robe. "Are you hungry?"

"No. I don't eat fatty foods in the morning. I usually just have an apple and some coffee."

"That's a little weird, don't you think? An apple is so healthy, but then the coffee?"

"It's Starbucks, so I really don't care."

"So that's why your dad went out this morning, huh? Your coffee is in the fridge."

"Yeah, I know. This was my home before it was yours."

I shot Judith a grin before I took an apple from the counter and my coffee from the fridge. I should have made more of an effort with her, but I used to have a conversation with my mother in this kitchen every morning. It made me sick to watch her make breakfast.

I left the house in a rush. I had already made plans for the day. First, I would see Sean for the first time in ages, and the together we would go do all the things we used to love doing together. It would be perfect.

When I stepped onto the street, I saw Shana sitting on the front steps of her home. She didn't look very happy. I thought it was strange how she could be doing nothing on such a gorgeous day. We were only a few minutes from town, and that was on foot. She could have been doing anything. I considering walking right past her with just a wave, but the closer I got to her side of the road, I could see just how miserable the poor girl looked. My gut got the the best of me, so I stopped walking completely when I hit the edge of her yard.

"Hi, Shay."

She lifted her bright green eyes from her feet to my face. At first, she looked irritated that someone was speaking to her, but then something came over her and her face lit up. She turned a light shade of pink, but it didn't stop her from getting up and walking towards me with a different attitude than she had yesterday.

"Hi Jennifer." She smiled. "What's up?"

"I was just heading over to Sean's. What are you up to?"

"Nothing really. There's not much to do around here."

"Sure there is," I offered. "You know, we're only a few minutes from town, and that place is never dull."

"It is when you're by yourself."

It was true. I couldn't imagine what she would do by herself, other than shop, of course. Even so, I don't think it would be a very fun thing to do by yourself. Shay really must not have made any friends during her time here. I wondered why no one wanted to talk to her. She didn't seem much different to me.

"Do you.." I had no idea if I would regret the words about to leave my lips, but I couldn't just leave her here with nothing. "Do you want to come with me?"

"Really?" She smiled brightly. Her green eyes seemed to come alive. I'd never seen someone get so excited over something so small. "That sounds great, but won't you want time alone with Sean?"

"I'll be here all Summer. We can catch up anytime. Come on."

Shana and I walked in silence. I was still trying to figure out what was so unlikeable about her. She wasn't a big girl, she didn't look like all the other barbies around here. Her body was curvy, so you'd think all the guys would want to talk to her. Maybe it was because she was so shy. But if that were the reason, she wouldn't have agreed to hang out with me, would she?

When we made it to the house she said now belonged to Sean, I could feel the excitement growing in my gut. The house didn't look much different from his old place, it was just a tiny bit bigger. We marched up the stairs and I pounded lightly on the door. I thought I was going to shake right out of my skin. The door opened quickly, and I could feel my heart beat faster when I saw Sean's eyes. They were the same color brown they'd been when I left. His hair was still dark, and it still fell over his pretty face. The only differece was his slight tan.

"Sean!" I cried. I wanted to control myself, but my arms seemed to throw themselves around his neck. "I've missed you so much!"

"Jenny!" He called my name as he held me tight. I could feel his body push against mine, and I could feel almost instantly that he'd grown more muscles since I'd last seen him. He'd gotten taller, too. But nothing mattered when I felt his strong hands run through my hair. It was so good to see someone that I cared about so much. "Oh, God. It's been so long."

He pulled himself out of the hug long enough to kiss my forehead. He continued to hold me losely in his arms. We didn't say anything, and we didn't move. It felt too good just to be with each other again.

"When did you get back?" He finally pulled away from me. "Why haven't you called?"

"I would have, Sean. I really would have. But my mom got caught up in a lot. She even shut our phone off. I just got back yesterday, and I was going to come and see you but I hadn't showered and you now how much I like to smell good."

"I know," he gave the laugh that I missed more than anything. "Hey, Shana."

"Hello, Sean. It's good to see you again."

"Yeah," Sean smiled. "You too. Thanks for telling Jenny where I was."

"It wasn't a problem. She was really nice."

"That's my Jenny." He kissed my forehead again with a large smile. "You look a lot different. What'd they do to you there?"

Before I could reply, Sean pulled Shana into the house and closed the door behind her. He led us into the living room where we all took seats on the couch.

"Nothing. I just took a liking to dark hair and piercings. Like it?"

"Love it. So how have you been?"

"I'm okay. I can't tell you how nice it feels just to be back here. And, you! Look at you. You're all big and strong now."

"Needed something to keep me busy while you were gone, didn't I? How long are you going to be here?"

"Just the Summer. Until my mom finds somewhere new to live."

"At least we have a few months together, huh? Which is great, because I actually have to go."

"What? You're leaving? But Sean, I just got back. You're supposed to go shopping with me, and get lunch at the stands, and-"
"I know that, Jenny. I've got a date, though, and you know how I feel about being late."

It wasn't hard to see that I was crushed. Yes, I knew how Sean felt about blowing people off, but that had never stopped him from spending time with him. He was my best friend, and we hadn't seen each other for a year. I don't want to sound selfish, but what could be more important than spending time with me while I was home?

He didn't give me any more of a chance to aruge, because he led Shana and myself out of the door. Before I left, Sean wasn't even driving, but once he gave me a soft kiss on the cheek and climbed into a shiny black car, I realized that he wasn't the same person I'd left behind.

"I'm sorry," Shay looked at me when Sean was out of view. "That was a crappy thing to do."

"Yeah." I sighed. "It was. Doesn't matter, though. We're going to have a good day without him."

"You still wanna hang out?"

"Don't you? It's a gorgeous day, and I haven't gone shopping in forever. If you don't want to, I understand."

"No, I do!" She smiled. For the first time her face wasn't pink. "I just figured that you'd want to go home, or something."

"Nah. It was stupid of me to think that he'd be the same as he was when I left. Besides, if you're my new neighbor, we should get to know each other, don't you think?"

Shana gave me a soft nod and together we headed to the city. We shared small talk about how she'd moved here from another part of California, and how everyone was so much different here than they were where she was from. I had to agree. This place was a lot different from anywhere I'd ever been. She really was a nice person. The kind of person that I would have as a friend, and the kind of person I knew Sean would have as a friend.

When we made it to the city I saw all the things I'd been missing. The big mall and the strip mall. The stores where you could find just about anything, and all the crazy people that lived around here. It was an amazing thing just to see. Sean and I used to spend almost every minute of the Summer in this place. It amused me how we could come here everyday and still find something new to keep us busy.

"I'm thirsty. You want anything?"

"Oh. I'll just get a water."

I shrugged. I suppose a water would be a healthy choice, and since I was carrying around an empty Starbucks cup, I went with a water, too. Two waters in a tiny drink machine ended up being two dollars out of my pocket, but I didn't mind it. When took our cold drinks and sat down at one of the random benches scattered along the street.

"So you and Sean," Shana started. "did you guys ever date?"

"Of course not," I snorted. "Why would you think that?"

"I don't know. I guess the way you greeted each other. It was like, the most romantic hug in the world."

"No, no." We laughed together. "Sean has always been my best friend, and he always will be. But we'd kill each other if we ever got into a relationship. He's just... well, he's just Sean."

"I see."

"So have you met anyone since you've been here?"

"No," she gave me a soft smile. "I really don't know anyone. You're the first person I've had a real conversation with."

"People around here can be cruel," I shrugged. "But there's always at least one good person in every group. You'll make friends. I know it."

"Maybe I will." She sighed. I watched her watch the people. She had a gentle face. "You know, I've never been to any of these little stores. Wanna show me around?"

I gave her a large smile. Oh, she knew the way to my heart. In my eyes, shopping could fix anything, and it was almost the worst thing in the world to me that she'd never been around here before. It was the best part of living here. Willingly I stood from my seat and grabbed her hand. Retail therapy, here I come.