This Is Not Your Playground, It's My Heart

"Hey!" I called through the glass of Shana's closed window. Through her clear curtains I could see her laying on her bed watching late night TV. She didn't look very amused, and when she heard me call through the window, she nearly jumped out of her skin. "Let me in!"

I watched her jump from the bed with a smile on her face and run to the window. She peeled the curtains back and unlocked the glass. As quietly as she could, she slip the window open to greet me.

"Shh," she cooed. "My parents are asleep."

"Sorry," I mumbled. She grabbed my arm to help pull me through the window. However, she yanked too hard before I managed to gather my balance and we fell to the floor. Thankfully her bedroom was covered in soft carpet. She laughed as my body rolled off of hers. "Crap," I laughed. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy." She looked over at me with the brightest smile I'd ever seen. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't take Judith anymore. Seriously, when she speaks, it hurts."

"I saw her painting your house when she first moved in," Shana helped pull me to my feet. "What the Hell is up with the bright pink?"

"I don't know, but she's crazy. Everything she owns is pink!"

"I've noticed. She even puts a pink collar on that poor little dog," Shana sighed as we sat down on her bed. "Is she really that bad, though?"

"You have no idea."

We sat in silence for a little while. The only real light in the room was coming from her TV, which she had just muted. She seemed deep in thought, so I took that as my chance to lay back on her bed and relax. Her room was quiet cute. There were random band posters on the wall, but it was painted a light purple to make it girly.

"Why'd your parents divorce?" She laid back on the bed with me. "Did they fight a lot?"

"I guess so. I mean, it wasn't much more than any other couple fights, but it always got so bad between them." I paused. No one had ever asked me about the divorce, and I saw that as a good thing. The less I thought about it, the better I felt. "My mom lost her job because she was so depressed. When she didn't have anything to keep her busy, it got worse. She would go out drinking every night and come back pissed off. She went off on me when my dad wasn't home. Screaming and crying, but I took it, because I understood that she was messed up, you know?"

"Yeah."

"My dad couldn't do it, though. Every time she started to scream, he'd scream back, and eventually it got so bad that he didn't want to deal with her anymore. We went to court to see who would get what before the divorce came through, and my mother didn't get anything. So not only was she broke, but she was broke and homeless. She did get me though, and I think it's only because no one trusted her alone."

"That's not fair to you, though."

"It wasn't at first. But when we moved to West Virginia, my mom started doing better. That was until I started going to school again. That's when she discovered that every house around us had drugs in them, so slowly she fell back down. I'm only back in town because the courts didn't see her as a fit mother anymore. She has until the end of the Summer to find a new home for us, and if she isn't clean by then, I have to stay here with dad."

"My parents might not be divorced, but I get it." Shay spoke softly. "We moved here because of my little brother."

"I didn't know you had any brothers," I commented. We'd both rolled over on our sides so that we could clearly see each other. "How old is he?"

"You mean how old was he," she gave me a hurt smile. "He was nine. He, uh, well there was a shooting at his school. Some kid found his dad's gun and brought it in to show his friends. I guess he didn't think it was loaded, or something, because he put it to Garret's head and pulled the trigger. None of us took it very well. My dad started spending every minute at work, but half the time he was cheating on my mom. He came home with red lipstick on his white shirt, but she pretended she didn't notice. Well, it was that, or she was too drunk to care. We came here because they thought it would be good for their relationship, but nothing has changed. I mean, dad doesn't cheat anymore, he just drinks as much as she does now."

"Oh, Shay," I frowned. I don't know how she stayed so strong. I was almost in tears for her. "I'm so sorry. Were you close to him?"

"Yeah. It was like he was my kid."

"That's so terrible. I'm so sorry."

"It's not okay, but it's okay." She gave me a faint laugh. "Garret was a good kid. A smart kid. He just had the wrong friends, I guess."

I didn't say anything else. I felt like there was nothing I could say. I didn't understand how she felt, and I couldn't make the situation any better. Shay let out a small sniff and I knew that there were tears spilling from her green eyes. Without any words to say, I grabbed her hand and held it until she fell asleep.