Who We'll Be

It was about 7:00 PM when Sky had called me to go to the plaza. And he said he'll come wait for me.

Even if will take him forever to do so.

But I know he's just lying.

So I won't come.

I sat up on my bed, and the dark hotel room only held on to the light of the lamp on the cabinet beside me.

I hugged Mr. Chumchum, my favorite stuff toy. He had already lost almost all the buttons in his little violet jacket, because of my carelessness in taking care of my toys when I was a kid. I hug him whenever I feel alone and when I have no one to talk to, so I brought him here with me in Jersey.

I looked at the wall clock.

9:00 PM.

I know Sky usually eat dinner at 8:30 or 9:00, so he's probably back home right now...

...or maybe he's still at the plaza?

No, he shouldn't be there anymore. About two hours had passed, so maybe he's home by now.

Sky's kind of the impatient type.

I looked at Mr. Chumchum in the eyes.

"Should I go to the plaza, Mr. Chumchum?" I asked. I don't know why I would even think about it. I mean, I already told him I wouldn't, so maybe there's no point in going...

Why yes, you should, Mr. Chumchum suddenly said.

Okay, that was just really me and the stupid half of my mind.

I glared at him.

"Why would I?! He lied and hurt me! Several times!"

But you still love him, he replied.

"I don't! Not anymore!" I yelled.

YOU STILL DO, DUH.

I shook Mr. Chumchum harshly.

"What part of DON'T, D-O-N-apostrophe-T, don't you understand?! I don't love him ANYMORE. A-N-Y-M-O-R-E!"

Yes you do, idiot! And you'll still love him even if he'd lie to you over and over again! Because that's what true love does....it makes you a martyr.

"But he told me he doesn't love me anymore. I can't just go and forgive him like that, that's the most stupid thing to do! And there's Ian...and I...well, we kissed, and..."

You guys just kissed. There's no formal descision about you two being together yet. And if he doesn't really love you, why would he tell you he'd wait forever? Action speak louder than words. And life's too short to let go of chances, and friendships...

"But is he really waiting right now?! He's just probably lying again!"

You'll never know if you won't come. You are such a gazilliot. That means being such an idiot over a gazillion times.

"Did you just call me a gazilliot?!"

I didn't call you a mizilliot.

"Why you...violet-jacket-with-a-few-buttons-wearing piece of...you traitor! I thought you're on my side!"

I am! I'm just saying what's inside your mind! YOU LOVE THE GUY. Oh, and what's that saying I read somewhere again? Oh, I remember now. I think it says 'Letting go of someone you love that had hurt you is the smartest thing to save your pride...but the stupidest thing to save your life.'

I opened my mouth in shock.

That's when I couldn't control my anger anymore.

I slapped Mr. Chumchum.

Good thing my mom and dad aren't home yet, still sight seeing the place and being all lovey-dovey, or they'll see their daughter slapping an inanimate object after she heard it say a hurtful quote, and they'll send me to therapy.

And I started crying again. Ugh, why can't I stop myself from being such a crybaby? I swear, if my tears were stuff toys like Mr. Chumchum, I might've slapped them a million times more.

And I made my final descision.

I won't go.

* * *

I looked at the clock again.

12:04 MN.

About 6 hours had passed.

6.

HOURS.

6.

FLIPPING.

HOURS.

And the guilt was just eating me alive.

But it would be IMPOSSIBLE if he's still at the plaza, waiting for me.

It's impossible...

...but what if Sky's still waiting?!

Is he okay?

The snow had stopped falling at the moment...

No, I shouldn't be worrying about him.

He deserves to suffer.

Like what he did to me...

Or maybe he's not there anymore.

He's lying, as usual...

...and hurting me again...

...but what if he's still there?! If he dies of the cold, it'll be my fault!

Wait, no, he chose to do that.

But still, I'm the reason he would! My conscience will bug me forever!

I walked back and forth inside my room, and made my really final descision...

...I'll go.

But I just want to see if he's really waiting for me. If he's true to his words this time.

And I won't show myself to him.

* * *

I've been searching for a long time now, and the crowd still wasn't decreasing like I thought it would. The shops aren't even closing yet. The night was still fully alive, with a few stars sparkling out little lights beneath the sky, and neon lights glistened as the night went on.

But despite flashes of lights, I still couldn't find him.

After some minutes, I finally came to this conclusion:

Sky's lying.

He's lying.

Again.

He's not waiting for me.

And I can't believe I fell for it!Again!

He's probably at his house right now, laughing at the thought I would come, while drinking coffee and relaxing by his fireplace!

I am such a gazilliot. I blame Mr. Chumchum for this. When I get home, I swear, I'll tear off all the buttons left in his jacket and—

That's when I finally spotted a familiar figure beside the wide fountain of the plaza. I forgot to look at the fountain directly, because of the thousands of people around.

And I finally realized that it really was him.

My liar ex-boyfriend.

And guess what the idiot's doing.

He's sleeping.

He was sitting there, with his back against the side of the big fountain, arms folded and sleeping peacefully, with the fountain's colorful lights glimmering around him...

...and he was still wearing his tuxedo.

Just the black jacket of his outfit was protecting him from the cold....

Seriously.

He's sleeping like a hobo in a tuxedo while sitting on the side of the fountain of the plaza without even thinking he'll get robbed or something.

And I can't believe I thought it was even cute...which was really, really stupid.

And some people sitting beside the fountain with him and walking by were talking and looking at him and pitying him for sleeping like that. And I can't believe some girls were even giggling at him as they passed.

He fell asleep here...

...because he was waiting for me.

Wait...

No, no, no.

Don't put your guard down just like that, Symmery.

You can't just fall forthat little gesture.

Just because he was true to his word this time and he waited for you doesn't mean everything else he did doesn't matter anymore.

You still got hurt.

And the guy's got to pay.

So you shouldn't go to him.

You shouldn't forgive him.

I was about to walk away...

...when I saw Sky opened his blinding blue eyes...

...and caught sight of me.

Oh shrimp.

Oh shrimp.

Oh shrimp.

He caught me looking!

I was starting to run...

...when I was swiftly embraced from behind.

Shit.

He caught me.

And oh my God...this is so embarrassing!

So many people are staring at us right now!

But Sky seemed oblivious to this, as his grip on my waist got tighter, and I could feel him kissing my ear as he softly whispered, "I can't stand lying to you anymore, Symmery. I can't stand hurting you again. It's hurting me too much. Let me explain everything…please…don’t let me go just yet."