Through All These Cities...

“What was that?” Brooke scoffs, “What happened to ‘we’ve only known each other a week. No labels-.”

I raise my eyebrows as I carry on letting her mock me, smirking as Nate’s eyebrows continue to furrow until he’s really frowning, arms crossed over his chest as he waits for his ‘mature’ girlfriend to finish.

“You done?” He voice is the complete opposite to her high pitched one, and even I jump a little when he speaks.

Brooke immediately pales, “Uh, yeah. It’s not my fault she lied though, is it? She’ll be the one to wreck this tour for us when she goes all frigid on him, like she did with Dane.”

My eyes widen at the mention of my ex, who had caused drama and emotional damage for almost a year of my life and wasn’t someone I ever wanted to be brought up again, especially in front of Alex.

“Low blow there, Brooke.” Nate walks out from behind his girlfriend and stands next to me, stroking my arm to calm me, because I’m on the verge of either punching her or crying, “Come on, we’ll go help Ty and Alice with the Merch stand. Brooke, stay here and whine to someone who fucking cares.”

I walk ahead of Nathan as he stays back to probably rip Brooke a new one for bringing Dane up, smiling at Alex over the heads of the small group of girls who’ve been allowed in to watch them practice as I enter the venue.
Alice questions me silently when I join her unpacking t-shirts, because today isn’t my day to help, but I shake my head and mouth ‘later’, seeing as she won’t be able to hear me over the general noise anyway.

After all the girls have been ushered outside to join the rest of the awaiting crowd, with their complimentary piece of merchandise and cliché pictures with the guys, Alex rushes over, ignoring Gary’s complaints.

“Hey.” He smiles, pulling me into a tight hug “You alright? You look like you’re either about to cry or slap someone.”

“Teenage drama, Lex. No worries, yeah?” I avert my gaze from his, to stare at a spot on the wall behind him, “I’ve gotta go get changed. We’re on in about thirty.”

“Don’t you try to change the subject! It takes you five minutes to get changed and you’ve already got all your unnecessary make-up on, so tell me.” He insists, tilting my chin to make me meet his eyes, “Tell me.”

“Brooke’s a bitch, OK? I’ll play with her for the rest of tour, no problem, but I can’t socialize with her without wanting to stab her eyes out!”

Alex looks a smidgen scared as I throw my head into my hands with a very audible sigh.

“What did she do, huh?”

“She mentioned Dane.” I hear Tyler’s voice before I feel his arms around my shoulders, “Give us a minute, yeah?”

Alex must nod because Tyler leads me away quickly, stopping us in the loading dock and sits me on the edge of our trailer.

“Ty-.”

“Listen, OK? You need to put Dane to the back of your mind and keep him there. That a-hole has wrecked your life enough without him spoiling this for you too.” He squeezes my shoulder, “Now go and explain to Alex before he hurts himself with the amount he’s thinking.”

I glance behind me, where Alex has followed a little and is watching us intently with a frown and his arms crossed.

“Sorry, about all that.” I gesture backwards once I reach him, “Brooke just brought up an ex.”

“Normally, people don’t react like that though. Did this, uh Dane, was it? Do something or..?”

“Depends on what your definition of ‘something’ is.” I shrug.

“Well, did he like, hit you, or well, worse, if you get what I’m trying to say.”

Alex’s stuttering would normally make me laugh, but any subject surrounding Dane was just not funny to me anymore.

“He slapped me around a few times.” I shrug, because compared to things he always threatened to do, being hit was nothing, “He broke my little finger once.”

Alex frowns, “You’re so nonchalant about it! You’re barely nineteen and you’ve had a violent relationship, that’s not great.”

“There’s nothing I can do, is there? It was almost two years ago now. He went down for six months because of it. See? Nothing I can do.”

“It’s obviously still affecting you though, Amy. You can’t even say his name.”

“Can we just leave this, Alex? I’ve explained, and I don’t really feel like spilling all my past problems to a guy I met two weeks ago, OK?”

I can tell that that last part hurts him, as he blanches before I get chance to walk away, “Amy! What the fuck?!”

I shake my head, and wave him off over my shoulder, refusing to look at him because the tears in my eyes just prove that, yes, it is still affecting me.

“ 'Cause I needed,
I need to hear you say,
That I love you,
I have loved you all along,
And I forgive you”

I hold the note as long as I can, smiling as I spread my arms wide as Alice, Tyler, Nate and unfortunately Brooke play me out with the strongest finish of any of our songs, even though we class it as a ballad.

“We’ve been, ‘That Band’. Go check the Merch stand for our first EP and shirts! We’re damn cheap!” Tyler smirks and there’s a cheer from a large group of girls towards the middle, to which he throws a wink and smile before he’s pushing me off the to the side of the stage in front of him, straight to Alex, who gives Tyler a small smile before he tugging me away.

“What is going on?”

“Well, Tyler told me that last song is about Dane, and seeing as you changed the set list to include it, I’ve decided we’re going to have a good old talk about it before I have to go on, because I do know you, and you’ll pretend to be asleep by the time I’m done.” He grins as he plonks me on the tarmac outside the back door to the venue, “OK, so, Amy, in detail, tell me about your relationship with Dane.”

I have a feeling this isn't going to take the ten minutes Alex expects, and by the time the night ends, he'll feel even more sympathy for me and I'll want to push him away, just like I have with everyone else.