Forever They Will Be Secrets To Me

I never used to smile when I wasn't happy. It's a little trick I've learned recently. If I smile, you won't ask me if i'm okay and if i'm okay you wont ask me to pinky swear, witch you know I can't lie about. I'm full of lies. I lied to you the night you were with me and you asked if I was okay. I lied in that pink swear because I can't see you hurting.

Now for you. I lied to you when you asked if I was alright. My heart raced just before you smiled. I thought you'd ask me to pinky swear, too. You didn't. I would have given you that blank look and smiled, lying to yet another person I love.

I'm full of lies. I hate myself, but every time you ask me how I feel I tell you i'm fine. I tell you how happy and energetic I am when on the inside I feel like someone just tore me away from the most beautiful thing in the world and told me I could never see it again.

I'm sorry I lie. I swear it's not for my own benefit. You have to believe that, because, when do I ever do anything to benefit myself?