Sure to Shine

"And tell me why exactly I have to go with you to spend my lunch break in the study room when it’s your project you’re working on?" Eric asked his best friend, Adam, as they walked into the study area and went to sit at a computer that wasn’t being used. Not many of them were, Eric realised. Lunchtime was when all the nerds came in to study, and he didn’t think that he had ever been in the study room at lunchtime in his entire four years at this school.

"Because you’re my bestest mate," Adam laughed. "And that’s what bestest mates are for, is that not true?"

"Well, bestest mates also shouldn’t force their bestest mate into going into the study room when it’s lunch time," Eric fired back, grinning mischievously.

"Bestest mates shouldn’t let their bestest mate go and suffer by themselves," Adam retorted, and Eric let out a low growl of frustration and hit his friend on the arm. Adam hit him back, and for a while they wrestled around until they realised they were getting angry glares. Laughing, they settled down, and Adam logged onto the computer.

"Ah, psychology, the bane of my life," Adam muttered, as he opened up the internet browser. "So, what did you do your presentation on?"

Eric shrugged.

"Serial killers," he said, grinning.

"Awh, man! I was going to do that!" Adam muttered, sticking out his bottom lip in a sulk. "Why are all the good ones taken? There’s serial killers gone, cults are gone, genocide is gone, what am I left with?"

"You could do some sort of disorder?" Eric offered.

"Yeah, but I want to be able to get right in there with lots of information and interesting research, you know, something everyone hears about but that has a lot of myths to it."

Eric laughed his friend’s annoyance.

"You should have actually done the presentation for when it was due in, then," he grinned cheekily.

"Shut up, Eric, you’re really not helping," Adam muttered, but Eric knew it was all in jest. The pair of them had been best friends for years, everyone was used to their constant bickering.

Eric was also usually sitting with Adam panicking about a presentation or assignment he hadn’t done but this time, their psychology assessment had been rather interesting. Basically, they had to pick something they had come across in their studies which had deeply interested them and then go into psychological profiles and almost investigate everything themselves. Unfortunately, Adam had left his characteristically to the last minute, and all the obvious ones had been taken.

"I suppose there’s one I could do," Adam suddenly said thoughtfully, and Eric looked up from where he was eating his packet of crisps.

"You don’t sound too enthusiastic," he told him.

"Well, it’s a little controversial," Adam told him. "You know, considering where we are."

"What is it?" Eric asked, a smile playing on his lips. "Drunken music teachers who keep gin in their desk?"

Adam laughed.

"No, remember, we told him we’d never say in exchange for A grades all year."

"Oh yeah, I remember that now. So, what then?"

"What about school shootings?" Adam asked carefully. "I mean, no one’s done them, and I bet there’s a lot you can do with it. Go behind all of the myths that it was music or video games or whatever and see the people behind it."

"Are you sure?" Eric asked slowly. "I mean …"

"Yeah, I know," Adam said. "But it’s the only thing I can think of. Anyway, everyone’s probably expecting something controversial from me, and it’s better than profiling a load of kiddie molesters, do you not think?"

"I suppose," Eric chuckled, watching as his friend looked up the list of school shootings on an online encyclopaedia.

Of course, it was obvious to anyone why the subject would be so controversial in America, where, unfortunately, these types of shootings weren’t unheard of. However, they had special reason to be careful around the topic, because there, on the list of shootings, was Jefferson High; their own school.

Eric watched interestedly as his friend habitually clicked on the link which brought up the article on their own school. It was a well-frequented page, especially among the freshmen, but Eric had never actually read it in detail. Of course, he knew the facts. He knew that, twelve years ago, a kid had walked into school and shot the place up, killing nine students and two teachers, and then himself. He had seen the memorial outside. He had been to the assemblies on the anniversaries of the shooting. He had seen news clips, getting shorter and shorter as the years went on. But he had never really looked into it. He was more into serial killers than mass murderers, whereas his friend was quite fascinated by people who just snapped one day.

"It’s weird, reading this and knowing you’re in the exact same room it’s describing," Adam told him, looking around the study room. "Three people died in here. Do you think it looked the same then?"

Eric shrugged.

"I don’t know," he said. "I don’t really think about it, if I’m honest with you."

"But do you not find it eerie, sometimes?" Adam prompted, and Eric laughed lightly.

"Adam, mate, it’s only you who’s obsessed with the sick details," he pointed out, and Adam pretended to be offended.

"Hey, it wasn’t me who watched all those creepy serial killer programmes when they were having a serial killer day on the crime channel!" he protested.

"Yeah, but more kids our age are interested in serial killers then high school shooters," Eric pointed out, laughing.

"Then I’m all special and whatnot," Adam shrugged, pulling out his notebook and beginning to take notes.

"What was the guy’s name again?" Eric asked casually.

"Ben," Adam said, still scribbling away, glancing at the computer screen every so often. "Benjamin Murdoch."

Eric nodded, grunting, wondering how Adam’s presentation would go down. He would have to be careful as to what he said, because it obviously wouldn’t go down well if he sounded as though he were excusing what had happened or condoning anything.

"Wouldn’t want to be you," Eric eventually grinned, looking at the screen.

"Oh, look, I wonder how the picture would go down?" Adam asked, glancing at Eric, who gave a small grin.

"Don’t push it, Adam," he laughed. "Is there even a picture?"

"Yeah, here, look," Adam said, scrolling down. "I think that’s a pretty old one, though. That’s freshman year. He was a senior when he did it."

"There’s a website about it," Eric pointed out, putting his finger on the screen, over the part where the external links were listed. Adam clicked on it and, to their surprise, the website wasn’t blocked.

Adam brought up the pictures page and whistled.

"Never seen any of these before," he said. "It’s weird, seeing them as babies, isn’t it?"

"I know," Eric agreed. "You always think that they were just these freaky kids. You never think about them as little children, all innocent and everything."

"Oh, great, it’s got some really recent ones!" Adam said enthusiastically. "Look, that one was taken only three days before –"

Adam suddenly broke off, and Eric looked up, alarmed, from where he had been foraging in his bag for more food. He wondered what had caused his friend to break off so suddenly, and he soon saw why. In fact, the sight made him temporarily speechless himself.

"Holy shit," Adam eventually muttered. "He looks exactly like you."

Eric wanted to deny it with every piece of his being, but he couldn’t.

"Perhaps it’s just the angle?" he eventually muttered lamely. Adam scrolled down, but for the life of him, Eric couldn’t spot a photograph where the two of them didn’t look like twins. They had the same dark hair, it stuck up in all the same places. They had the same green eyes, and his were even complete with the thin ring of brown which circled the pupils of Eric’s eyes. They had the same shaped nose and the same lop-sided half-grin. They even wore their T-shirts similarly – one part of it folded up slightly so the other half came down over their jeans a little lower. Ben Murdoch even loosely held one hand in his jacket pocket when he stood, just like Eric did.

"Dude, that’s not funny," Eric muttered, when he realised Adam was still staring at him, looking slightly unnerved. "Click off."

"Dude, come on –" Adam began, but Eric was unnerved and wanted nothing more to do with it.

"Click off, man!" he said, slightly angrily, reaching over for the mouse, but Adam beat him to it and clicked off anyway. “Jesus!” Eric burst out, collapsing back into his seat.

There was a long and awkward silence. Neither of them seemed to know what to say.

"Why hasn’t anyone said anything?" Eric eventually muttered, and Adam looked a little relieved to see his friend was still capable of speech.

"I don’t know, man," he muttered in reply. Eric leant back against his chair, leaning his head right back and looking at the ceiling.

"It just seems like something people would point out," Eric muttered. "You know what high school is like. They always point out something. I mean, that would be gold. 'You remember that weird kid who shot up the school twelve years ago? He looked exactly like you!'"

"Perhaps they’re as freaked out as we are?" Adam asked quietly, and Eric didn’t want to admit it, but he was totally freaked out. It was impossible to look so alike to somebody.

"It’s just totally messed up," Eric eventually muttered, rubbing his hands through his hair as though self-consciously trying to make it look different. If he were honest, he almost wanted to dye his hair a totally different colour after seeing those pictures. It was terrifying, the extent to which they looked like one another. He just hoped his friend wouldn’t start firing similarities out at him as he continued with his research.

Lunch passed with more awkward silence than anything else. Eric turned to Adam when the bell went.

"Not a word," he muttered, and Adam looked surprised.

"You’re still on about that?" he asked, and Eric rolled his eyes.

"Adam, he looks like my bloody twin," he pointed out. "I don’t want people going onto the website and checking it out and starting stupid jokes about me, all right?"

"All right," his friend promised, though he looked a little worried about his friend’s sanity.

There was one upside to the day. Aside from the obvious advantage that it was Friday, it also happened to be the senior’s half day. Every Friday the seniors got to go home at lunchtime, which meant that Eric had a weekend of glorious freedom to look forward to.

He and Adam walked out together, before Adam swore under his breath.

"Damn, I have to go speak to the English teacher," he muttered. "She’ll kill me if I don’t see her today."

"You want me to wait?" Eric asked, but Adam shook his head.

"Nah, I’ll likely be ages. She probably wants to rip into me about that essay we had to do. I’ll see you sometime, all right?"

"Yeah, see you," Eric replied, and he turned and carried on his journey as his friend hurried back inside. He didn’t envy Adam – he just wanted to go home now.