Sure to Shine

Eric yawned as he slouched on the bench outside, enjoying the rare heat from the sun. It was unusual for the weather to be so pleasant around this time, but no one was complaining about the freak heat wave. The grounds were the one place he thought was brilliant about the hospital. He always viewed mental hospitals as being drab, depressing places, but the grounds livened the whole thing up. There were many different buildings making up the hospital. Some were original buildings from when it first opened at the beginning of the twentieth century. The more modern buildings were dotted around, adding splashes of colour here and there.

Eric came out to chill on the bench whenever he could. This was his bench, somewhere where he could be totally alone. The path was gravelled and narrow here, and behind him was a high brick wall, and in front of him a line of trees. It was secluded and private, and Eric liked to make the most of it.

He leant back, resting his head against the wall and closing his eyes, enjoying the warmth on his face. He had almost drifted off when he felt someone sit beside him, and inwardly he groaned, not fancying company right now. He opened his eyes, looking at the blue sky, wondering if he should just pretend to be asleep or not. However, whoever it was seemed to have noticed that he was awake, because they chuckled.

The laugh sounded too familiar.

Eric’s heart plummeted, and although he didn’t want to confirm the fact, he turned, and Skylar smirked back at him. Eric groaned out loud this time, and leant his head back against the wall, clamping his eyes shut. He was surprised when Skylar didn’t say anything straight away. After a while of silence, during which Eric’s suspicions grew, he opened his eyes, looking at the other young man. Skylar was sitting in the same position, and opened his eyes and winked when he sensed Eric was looking at him.

"What do you want?" Eric demanded, and Skylar shrugged.

"Just thought I’d check to see how you’re getting on," he replied.

"Well, that’s ironic," Eric muttered, rolling his eyes. "Seems the longer you stay the fuck away from me, the better I am."

"That’s a bit harsh," Skylar shrugged. Eric watched him, still wary.

"You’re a lot calmer these days," he eventually told him. Skylar did seem to have changed. He wasn’t as restless, and he was less eager to antagonise and tease.

"Yeah, why is that?" Skylar asked Eric, turning to look at him. There was still a glint of madness in his eyes, but it wasn’t as prominent as he used to be. Eric paused, confused, before he remembered that he was subconsciously in control of Skylar’s moods.

"I’m not sure," Eric replied, shrugging. "I guess I’m calmer now. I don’t feel angry anymore. Do you?"

"Not really," Skylar said. "It’s weird, actually. I’m so used to hating everything. It’s strange to feel so chilled out."

"But it’s nice, right?"

"I guess so," Skylar shrugged. "Though I’m a little worried about you."

"That’s rich," Eric snorted. Skylar didn’t react in any way, which was unusual. Eric had expected him to fire back some smart remark.

"Nah, I am," he said. "You know, you’re becoming another one of those brainless zombies. Do you really want everything you say and do to be in a pill you take every day?"

Eric inwardly rolled his eyes. This was more like Skylar, though Eric didn’t quite yet know where Skylar was going with everything.

"Skylar," he muttered. "I just want to get better. That’s all I want. I don’t care how I get there, all right? There’s plenty of time to iron out all of the rough edges."

"I know," Skylar said, and then he suddenly sighed. "This is probably going to be the most caring you’re ever going to see me be, so number one, I want you to listen, and number two, you tell no one."

Eric sniggered a little at Skylar’s glare.

"Because I’m really going to tell the nurses about this," he replied.

"Good," Skylar fired back. "Anyway, you know what I said. That I saw something in you, and all of that."

"Yeah," Eric muttered. "And what a good job you did."

"Whatever," Skylar replied. "Anyway, that still stands, all right? You’re smart, you’re different, you’ve got a Hell of a lot of potential, and I don’t want you to become normal."

It was strange to hear such sincerity in Skylar’s voice, although of course Eric still didn’t trust him completely. Eric knew better than that by now.

"You mean, you don’t want to have to go," Eric replied. "I don’t think you really give a shit about me, Skylar."

"Nah, I’m being serious. I don’t want you to become another one of those brain dead zombies. I guess I always saw you as being a bit reckless, a bit of an opportunity grabber, you know? When you said you wanted to travel, I know I pointed out all of the bad points, but I can really see you travelling. I can see you just wandering around with no set destination, taking things as they come and broadening horizons and all that there. I just hope that when you come through all of this, you don’t lose that. It would be a shame for you to end up as some nine to five slave with no hope or any dreams."

Eric was surprised. The fact that he now understood what Skylar was, was making him realise that somewhere, deep down in his own unconsciousness, he was terrified of that very thing happening. Of course, he didn’t want to acknowledge this fact, and so here was Skylar, telling him like it was. Eric understood that Skylar was being sincere. Skylar changed as Eric changed. As his desires and dreams and worries and fears changed, Skylar changed accordingly, always there to make him face his demons. Eric looked at him. Skylar didn’t look as intimidating as he used to.

"So, what do you suggest?" Eric asked him. "I mean, I’m stuck here. It’s not like I can just discharge myself and hit the road, is it?"

"No," Skylar said simply. "But you can get better."

"Which is what I’m trying to do."

Skylar gave a small smirk.

"You can get better a lot quicker, Eric."

Eric frowned, before he understood what Skylar was getting at

"You mean, fake it?" he asked.

"Well, you don’t have to fake everything," Skylar shrugged. "But yeah, that’s what I’m getting at."

"I couldn’t, Skylar," Eric told him. "I’m dangerous. I don’t want to do anything like that again. I can barely live with this."

"But you wouldn’t do it again," Skylar explained. "That’s not something you want to do anymore. You’ve done it, it’s in the past, and you can check it off. Your desires are somewhere else now. You want to be free. You want to be free to be yourself without anyone knowing your past. You want to hit the road and be the person you always wanted to be. You’re not dangerous anymore. You’re just frustrated."

"So you wouldn’t pop up and try and get me to go all mass murderer on everyone again, then?" Eric asked suspiciously, and Skylar gave a small smile and a wink.

"I am what you make me," he said. "Hell, you could make me highly intelligent and motivated if you want, and we could go to Yale."

Eric snorted.

"Like any college would let me in, Skylar," he laughed. "And even if they did, they’d always be checking my room for guns and knives and weapons of mass destruction."

"Most likely," Skylar grinned. "Then you would get pissed off, and I’d be back, meaner than ever."

"I don’t think you could have gotten much meaner," Eric replied, raising his eyebrows. "So, you’re the expert with all this. How do I fake getting better, exactly?"

"Well, I’m not saying that if you suddenly pretend to be better they’ll buy it," Skylar told Eric bluntly. "You’ll likely still be in here for years, but you know, it might be ten instead of twenty, or fifteen instead of thirty."

"Jesus Christ," Eric muttered. "I’ll be old."

"You can still travel, though," Skylar said. "And that’s what you really want to do, right?"

"Right."

"So do it," Skylar shrugged.

Eric sighed. The prospect of that many years in this place was a daunting one. Although he felt safe here, he knew that so much time in a place could make readjustment incredibly difficult. He looked at Skylar, knowing that the other young man knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Don’t worry about that," Skylar grinned. "Ironically, I’m your link to normality now."