Don't Pass Me By

The New York sky glowed a soft orange, the sun had began to set, and I was strolling down the street towards the apartment. I held my sketchpad in a rough hand. I hadn't been able to draw anything recently. Nothing seemed the same. Except for Max, he was the only thing that was perfect in anything I drew. A cigarette was held in between my trembling lips. It was time for me to face everything, to face everyone, including Lucy and Max.

Sorry Luce, I don't love you. I love your brother. I chuckled quietly to myself through the silent tears. I could never say that. Max was my best mate, he was actually there for me when I came here to America. "Him and his god damn Ivy League hospitality." I spoke out loud, and hoped the passing bystanders didn't hear my random babbling. Loving Max would just fuck everything up. I couldn't do it, plain and simple.

Caught up in my thoughts, I reached my destination. I flicked my cigarette into the brush, wiped my eyes, and began making my way up the flight of stairs. As I reached the door to the apartment I began searching my pockets for the key. All that I had found was bits of lint, pack of cigarettes, lighter, and a small baggy of what looked a bit like weed. "Just my luck."

"Lucy!" I began to bang frantically on the chipped green painted door. "Lucy!" I called again. The door swung open and I nearly avoided punching Max in the face. He ducked out of the way before my fist could make contact.

"Sorry man. It's only me and you tonight." His voice cracked slightly and he wiped one of his sky blue eyes with the palm of his hand.

"Eh, I need to talk to your sister." A small frown formed on Max's lips and he leaned against the doorframe.

"She's with Sadie and JoJo." He tried his best to give off some sort of a smile, crossing his arms over his chest..

I ignored all signs of Max's distress and found my way around him and into the living room. I tossed my sketchpad to the couch, and planted myself next to it. Max quietly followed behind me, he sat in a chair across from me.

"What's this about?" He had regained his tough guy, I'm Max and I protect my sister voice. But I could tell it was all an act. He was waiting for me to ask him what's wrong.

I shrugged and began to light a blunt that lay on the coffee table. "Can't say." I smiled at him as the drug's scent began to fill the air.

"And why the fuck not?" Max stood to his feet, fists clenched.

I looked at him for a moment before blowing smoke out into the air. "You don't want to know mate." I held out the blunt for him to take. Max looked down at my hand for a moment before taking it.

"Judey, seriously man?" He sat next to me, taking a long drag. His eyes shined the brightest blue I've seen in a long time and his hair swept perfectly to the side of his face. "You're not cheating on her are you?"

"Of course not." I stretched out slightly, exhaustion was at the bottom of my mind but it still seemed to peek out.

"What the-." Max handed me the blunt and bent down to pick something off the floor, my open sketchpad. "Jude, is this me?"

He opened it to a picture of him and me smoking at Cafe Huh?. He scanned it carefully before handing me the book.

"Well, I-." I stopped my words in mid-sentence. I'm not in the mood to deal with me getting even more romantically attached to this kid. "I need to talk to Lucy." I got up to my feet and began to make my way out of the room, that is, before Max stopped me.

"Dammit Jude. Tell me what's wrong!" His voice had gone furious and his fingertips dug into my arm. "Tell me."

"You first." I gave him a small smart-ass smile. "Why are you acting like this?" I pulled his hand from my arm.

"I'm confused." Max shrugged. "I'm fucking confused!" He marched away from me and into the kitchen. "I don't know."

"It is you." I looked down at my sketchpad. "They're all you. Max you're the only thing I could draw these days." I spoke quietly and I prayed somehow Max could hear me. "When you're the only thing I could think about, that tends to happen. I don't know why I keep doing this. I-." My eyes slowly started to tear up. "I lo-." I froze midway.

Max's head popped out of the doorway. "What?" He snapped, causing a wave of aggravation to come over me.

"I'm leaving." I snapped back. I threw my sketchpad his way and marched out the door before seeing where it landed. The walk down the stairwell seemed longer than usual and I wanted to get out of there. Maybe I'd visit my mum in Liverpool for a while.

"Jude!" I heard a voice call from up the stairs. I was already down to the bottom flight and I wasn't in the mood to go back up them.

I turned around to see Max rushing down the stairs, leaping nearly three at a time. "I saw your drawings. All of them." He panted. "They're amazing." He stopped two stairs above me. His blue eyes staring down directly into my tear filled pools of black.

"Bloody hell Max, what do you want?" I didn't even look up to face him. I couldn't face him.

"I want you." He struggled out the words. "I don't know how to put it. You're with my fucking sister for Christ’s sake." His hand smacked against his forehead. "Dammit Max."

Before I could even respond my lips were collided into his and I couldn't find the words to say. I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my toes to get closer. My breath was sucked out of me in an instant. Suddenly everything around me was Max. Nothing could bring me down in this moment.

Max pulled away, his lips only an inch away from mine. "I love you Jude."

"I love you too Max." I laughed breathlessly. "I always have."