To Live Her Life

People took notice of the way Océane had acted whenever the enemy “captive” was brought into the camp.

Of particular interest was way she had. Many knew of the rumors going around; that she was pregnant with an enemy nation’s child; a rumor that although knowingly false to her, was something not so “known” to everyone else. The same thing had been done with her mother; that fact was something everyone knew for sure- Océane’s mother had an affair and grew pregnant with an Indian man’s baby while still being married and with her husband. But with Océane, it was a completely different kind of scandal. Frowned upon an not your typical “relationship” she had to contend with her nations and the laws and rules she grew up with as well as the ever-present weird actions she had been showing. She couldn’t help the way she felt though, could anyone really do that? You could put on a façade but that will only last so long and under so much increasing tension.
The eldest brother of both Najib and Océane had witnessed her little… “Stunt.” And to say he wasn’t pleased would be an understatement.

Najib had drug Océane back to the tents, and sat her down on the makeshift bed of blankets without speaking on word to her at all. She did likewise; not a word or sound was spoken between either of them. He took deep breaths in or out and paced in front of her cringing body, waiting for what was to come.

“ماذا كان ذلك؟” (What was that?) He asked in confusion. She sighed and flinched under his convicting tone. She hadn’t done anything too incredibly wring had she?

“أنا آسف.” (I’m sorry) Océane wailed out loud, frustrated. Najib just stared at her in shock… What happened to his baby sister? He wondered.

“أنت لا يبدو فقط لفهم Océane.” (You just don’t seem to understand Océane.) He mumbled turned around and pulling at his medium-length dark brown hair that covered his head. “هذا هو... سيئة. جدا ، جدا ، سيئة للغاية!” (This is...bad. Very, very, very bad!) He yelled. “فقط لأن 15 الخاص بك ، لا يعني أن يفعلوا الشيء نفسه متعود لكم كما فعلوا لألأم” (Just because your 15, doesn't mean that they won’t do the same to you as they did to momma?)

“ماذا ألأم لها علاقة مع أي شيء؟” (What does momma have to do with anything?) Océane whispered, looking up at her older brother like the most innocent girl he had ever seen. And she was more than that. She had never done anything for fun, was never exposed to anything like she was rumored to have done. She was virtually still a baby in Najib’s eyes… which wasn’t entirely a bad thing.

“ماذا؟ ملحق –“ (What? Wh-) He was lost, he figured she knew but now he figured maybe she didn’t. “أنت ويوري.” (You and Youri…) He waited for it to sink in somewhat.

“وماذا عن لي ويوري؟ هل هو بخير؟!” (What about me and Youri? Is he okay?!) She asked moving to sit on her knees, ringing her hands back and forth around the fabric of her flowing abaya.

“هل –“ (Did you-)

“لم أفعل أي شيء معه ، لا أستطيع أن أصدق أنك من جميع الناس يصدقون ما يقولونه عني. ومن isn't صحيح وأنا كنت أحسب سيكون على جانبي ، وليس لهم!” (I didn't do anything with him; I can't believe that you of all people believe what they are saying about me. It isn’t true and I figured you would be on my side, not theirs!) Tears came to Océane’s eyes at the rejection of her brother.

“أنا آسف ، وأعتقد أنكم ينبغي عليهم... أنا فقط ، أنا لا أعرف بعد الآن. الطريقة التي تتصرف من الصعب معرفة الذين لنرى!” (I'm sorry, I should believe you over them... I just, I don't know anymore. The way you act it’s hard to figure out who to believe!) Najib was fighting an inward battle. His sister is “flirting” with danger- her own country and their enemy. Where do you go from that, what so you do with that sort of information?

“أنا لست حاملا. أنقذ أنا مجرد صديقين معه ، قال لي نجيب! فعل! قتل بابا وعشت. وقال انه لن ندعهم يؤذيني مثل بابا وكيف يمكنك أن لا نقدر ذلك؟ أنا مدين له ، وأنا أحبه لحماية لي من لهم. من السعودية. وحاولوا قتلي ، شعبنا...” (I am not pregnant. I am just friends with him, he saved me Najib! He did! Papa was killed and I lived. He wouldn't let them hurt me like papa and how can you not appreciate that? I owe him; I love him for protecting me from them. From Arabia. They tried to kill me, our own people.... )

“كنت أحبه على الرغم من؟” (You love him though?) Najib asked, a weight being placed heavily and unceasingly upon his chest. He couldn’t breathe; he just stood frozen in place after asking the previous question. Dreading the answer, his eyes watched Océane squirm underneath his stare, she didn’t know what the answer to that question was and so she made that known.

“أنا لا أعرف.” (I don’t know.) She whispered, unsure. What is love, really? Does anyone truly know what it truly is?

“لا تجرؤون يذكر أي شيء من هذا لأحد.” (Don’t you dare mention any of this to anyone!) Najib hissed, allowing for the subject to end for the moment. He wanted to get away, needed to get away and think before his anger brought out the worst of him. He couldn’t desert his family, especially not his sister, but he couldn’t listen to her words. Her trying to reason that her actions of trusting and befriending, maybe even loving an enemy… He was in the Saudi Arabian military force. This was all causing a rift in between him and her; and he knew that in time, continuing to listen to her speak would eventually turn him against his fellow militants and country too.

He turned to walk away but stopped when she spoke again, luckily no one was around or listening because she would have been dead on the spot.

“كيف يمكنك الحفاظ على كونها وفية لبلدكم إذا حاولوا قتل لأنك اتخذت بعيدا؟” (How can you keep being faithful to your country if they tried killing you because you were taken away?)

Najib spun around and gulped as he seen Océane sobbing.

“أخرس وتبقي فمك مغلقا. يرجى Océane” (Just shut up and keep your mouth shut. Please Océane.) Najib pleaded.

“ولكن كنت لا تعرف ما يشبه!” (But you don’t know what it’s like!) She screamed.

“لا يهم.” (It doesn’t matter.) He mumbled.

“كانوا وكانوا لطفاء معي ، مثلك. ليس مثل أي شخص آخر...” (They were nice to me, they were like you do. Not like everyone else...)

Najib walked out feeling guilty. His guilt was mostly because his of their countries laws and them being so harsh to the minority of the population in females; and it went as far as women in general being treated so differently than men such as him. He never agreed with it but never disagreed either. He only felt bad when younger because of Océane, but then he had gotten married and moved out of the house and never paid her as much attention as before. He never treated his own wife badly, harshly or lowly. He loved her and showed her respect and treated her well… and that was not an exaggeration. It was truthful.

His older brother however had a different view of life. He treated Océane well for the most part but his own wife, he was no better than the rest of them…

Their older brother, the first born of their “father,” was Salim and he was a very high-ranked officer in the military. He didn’t fight, he stayed behind at base and made the final decisions and commanded the lower ranks to do- what they were told to do.

Najib knew they were in for some kind of problem. His brother being such a radical military commander and Océane being the way she has lately- He wouldn’t spare her, her life if need be. Salim believed in justice and punishment for any wrong-doings, no matter who was in the right.

Salim had been on base from the beginning, before Océane had been brought back. Although he hadn’t been seen, he had been watching and listening; maybe even snooping around too much for his own good. Yet he had no shame in being found out if he would have been at any point in time.

Najib walked out of the tent and turned right, running straight into Salim’s rougher, stronger and more muscled body with only a few steps. He stepped back and Salim glared at him before walking towards the tent.

Panicking and wondering if Salim happened to hear any of the words he decided to stick around. He rushed after the fast moving older man and stopped suddenly when the cloth was dropped back into its resting place, straight up and down, unmovable.