Love Song

Amy

One Year Later
April 9th

It had been an extremely long year. Jordan had been hospitalized with broken ribs and a few months later she ended up in the emergency room for a broken wrist. And both times, she was questioned about how she got hurt, and both times she covered for Ryan or Mr. Block or whatever the hell his name was. Then Josh, Sam, Zakk, and I would go over to her house to check on her and she’d be stoned out of her mind. And like the good people we are, we would hide her and find a way to get rid of Ryan.

Now, she’s having some rehearsal dinner. She had a year to get out and she didn’t. I didn’t know whether to leave and tell her that she was on her own or to help her.

But on the bright side, Sean moved in with me and I sent an application to Stanford, which got accepted extremely fast. But on the not so bright side, I neglected to mention this good news to Sean, who has no idea that I’m going to Stanford. This means that we’ll be separated. I probably should’ve told Sean…

“Are you ready to leave?” Sean called as I slid my bracelet onto my wrist.

“Almost,” I replied, slipping my feet into my shoes, “ok now I’m ready.”

Apparently, Ryan’s sister’s husband was pretty wealthy, which meant that this rehearsal dinner would be at his house. I actually wanted to meet Ryan’s family. I wanted to see just what kind of idiot parents raised this sick man.

I was shocked at how big the house was. The driveway looked more like a car dealership. Oh yeah, it was that big. I spotted Jordan’s car in the middle of this dealership driveway and knew she was already inside.

“Amy, you go inside and I’ll meet you inside,” Sean said. He scooted over into my seat as I got out of my car. I walked inside the tall double doors as Sean drove off to find a place to park.

The inside of the house was more astonishing than the outside. The inside looked like how the castle looked at the end of The Beauty and The Beast.

“Amy!” I heard someone yell. I turned to see Jordan in a rosy pink dress. She had a smile on her face as she walked over to me. I’ve never been one to analyze an expression on someone’s face. But with Jordan it was more obvious. I could see much more beyond that smile on her face. Her eyes were saying more than her mouth probably ever would.

“Jordan you look so pretty!” I said cheerfully as I wrapped her into a hug. I felt her wince when I tightened my hug, which made me pull back.

“You really think so?” Jordan asked as she straightened out her dress.

“I really think so,” I said with a smile.

“I hate this dress. But Ryan picked it and I…didn’t want to be rude so…” she stopped talking and looked away as her smile quickly faded. She stared at the night sky with that same emotionless stare that I hadn’t seen since Aria’s funeral.

Jordan shook her head and looked back at me with another fake smile, “I want you to meet Ryan’s family.”

“Wait…is this…?” I grabbed the silver cross that laid flat against her chest.

“Yeah, it’s a cross,” Jordan answered as she moved her body away from me.

“Jordan, you’re not even religious,” I said.

“I wasn’t but now I am. Ryan made a lot of sense,” she said softly, playing with the chain on her cross necklace.

“Ryan is a Christian?” I asked, not being able to believe what she was telling me. Ryan, this rapist/borderline pedophile was Christian?

Jordan narrowed her eyes at me and shook her head before she stormed off. I stood there for a second, trying to figure out what had just happened. Any Christian could try and convince Jordan to convert but she was never sold on it. Now all of a sudden she was “convinced” by Ryan?

I decided to go out to the backyard to clear my head. The backyard looked more like the field we had to run laps around in middle school. Ryan’s family really lived life largely.

I found Josh, Tia, Zakk, Sam, and Harrison standing in a circle in the middle of the yard. Josh had a cigarette in his mouth and was getting his lighter from his pocket, Harrison was finishing his own cigarette, Sam was listening to Tia go on about the amazing wedding and Zakk was just standing there with his arms folded across his chest.

Sam turned her head rolling her eyes when she saw me. She seemed to be grateful that I was there. No more listening to Tia. It was nothing against Tia but like her entire family, she was oblivious to Jordan’s situation.

“Amy!” Sam called, motioning for me to join them. Josh looked up at me as he put his lighter into his pocket.

“Very nice Josh. A classy suit with a pack of cigarettes and a lighter,” I chuckled. Josh gave me a half smile that told me he wasn’t amused

“You’re hilarious Amy,” he grumbled as he took his cigarette from his lips and blew smoke into the air.

“Oh Josh, don’t be so angry. Amy was just teasing.” Tia said, slapping Josh playfully. Josh moved his arm away, still not amused as he put his cigarette in between his lips.

I could see why Josh was in a foul mood. We were all on edge. As a big brother, would you be ok if your little sister was getting beat by a sick teacher?

But looking at Zakk, I could see he was hurting the most. His silence and the look on his face gave it all away. Jordan was the love of his life and she was being yanked away. Not only that, but she was being yanked away by a rapist/borderline pedophile/wife beater.

It seemed like Ryan knew Jordan was weak and vulnerable and that’s why he attached himself to her. It’s the only logical explanation. Ryan doesn’t look like the type who randomly decides to abuse a girl for no reason.

Jordan had lost her older sister and her best friend because he couldn’t handle her rejection. She wasn’t in the best of places at that point in time. If Aria and Zakk had been there, she would’ve been able to stop it before it started.

“Did you see that cross around Jordan’s neck?” I asked Sam softly.

“I did,” she answered softly.

“In Jordan’s mind, that would be crossing the line. And now she’s just ok with it,” I scoffed.

“She has a new way of thinking. If she doesn’t stay on his side, she gets hit,” Sam grumbled.

I felt Sean hug me from behind and I knew I wasn’t in a lovey dovey mood.

“I think everyone is going inside for something,” Sean said, gesturing to the crowd heading into the house. Tia happily ran back into the house, with Zakk slowly following behind silently.

“Tia’s ignorance is getting on my last nerve.” Josh snarled as he flicked his cigarette into the grass and smashed it with his foot.

“We know Josh. You’re just going to have to live with it. We’ll be better off if Tia doesn’t know,” Sam said softly as she started walking into the house. We followed her silently into the house and into the dining room where everyone had gathered.

“Good evening Josh,” Ryan said softly with a smile. Josh looked up at him with the death glare that looked exactly like Jordan’s. Ryan chuckled as if Josh had made a joke and grabbed his shoulder. I bit my bottom lip nervously, thinking that Josh would have Ryan on the ground if he didn’t let go.

“Maybe you’d like to say something,” Ryan said. Josh calmly moved his body away from Ryan and looked at the people who had gathered.

“I can’t put into words how happy I am for my sister,” Josh said in a monotone voice.

“I feel terrible for Jordan,” I whispered to Sean as I squeezed his hand. Sean, who was fully aware of Jordan’s situation, wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to him.

“I know you do Amy,” he said softly.

“Well, now I feel even worse.” I murmured.

“Why is that?” he asked.

“Because I won’t be here to help her much longer.” I said softly.

“What? Why? Are you ok?” he asked, pulling me away from him so he could look me in the eyes.

“No, no Sean you have it wrong. I’m not sick.” I said, suddenly feeling stupid for bringing the college subject up here.

“Oh…” he sighed, pulling me into a hug, “then why do you say you won’t be around?”

“Because…I’m going to Stanford in the fall.” I said as my throat suddenly went dry. Sean pulled away from me and his hands dropped down to his sides.

“You’re going to San Francisco?” he said softly. I nodded slowly.

“Well…when were you planning on telling me?” he asked.

“Of course I was but…how do you tell the person you love that you’re moving to another city to go to college?” I said, looking down at my feet.

“Amy if you want to go to college, I’m not going to stop you,” he said.

We stayed at the party until everyone left. The place was empty by midnight.

“You headed home?” I asked as I saw Jordan walk towards the door.

“Yeah. Ryan is going to stay here for the night.” she answered flatly.

“How about Sam and I come and spend the night with you tonight.” I suggested happily, hoping to brighten Jordan’s spirits.

“Sure, if you want to,” she mumbled as she walked away.

“Sean, I’ll talk to you about Stanford tomorrow, ok?” I said as I placed a kiss on his lips before grabbing Sam and yanking her out to the driveway.

“We’re spending the night with Jordan tonight,” I declared before I let Sam go to her car.

We didn’t stop at our own houses to get anything, we went straight to Jordan’s house.

Jordan’s car was already parked in her driveway when we got there.

“How did she get here so fast?” I asked myself as I parked on the street. Sam was slamming her car door shut just as I was getting out.

“She’s a fast driver.” Sam observed as her and I walked up to Jordan’s front door, which was open a crack.

“Jordan?” I called. We walked upstairs towards her bedroom, which I heard close when I called her name.

“Jordan open the door.” Sam demanded.

“No, go away.” Jordan snapped.

“You didn’t even lock the door,” I groaned as I opened the door. Jordan looked up at me casually with a joint in between her fingers as she blew smoke.

“Jordan!” Sam snapped.

“I told you to go away. You should’ve asked yourself: do I really want to know what’s going on behind Jordan’s bedroom door?” she mumbled.

“Don’t blame this on us Jordan!” I growled. Jordan put the joint in between her lips and inhaled as she stood up.

“You don’t understand the position I’m in. You don’t know what I’ve been through,” she grumbled.

“We’re trying to help! All you’ve been doing is sitting here wallowing in self pity and getting high!” Sam yelled.

“You don’t know anything Sam!” she shot back.

“She’s right Jordan! That’s all you’ve been doing! You could’ve gotten out of this so many times, and you didn’t!” I said.

Jordan stayed silent as she put out her joint and flicked it out of her open window.

“I’m tired. Maybe we can do this sleepover some other time,” she said softly as she laid down on her bed and rolled onto her side so her back was turned to us.

We were too hard on Jordan, Sam and I both knew that. We quietly backed out of the room and closed the door.

We really didn’t know anything that Jordan was going through. No, that didn’t give her a right to smoke pot on her times away from Ryan.

But Jordan’s response told me that she was slowly going insane. It seemed to me that only a few things could hold her sanity together. And those things just weren’t there.