Love Song

Josh

Josh was awoken by his girlfriend, Erin pulling an empty beer can out of his grip. She dumped it into a black trash bag and gave Josh a scowl.

“I thought you were going to stop drinking so much,” she mumbled, placing her hands on her hips. Josh sat up, his head throbbing, like had just punched him repeatedly in the head. He attempted to open his eyes, but his eyes burned at the slightest bit of light. Erin, though speaking softly, sounded like she was screaming at him. He buried his head underneath his pillow and waved his arm.

“I know, I know. Will you stop yelling?” he said hoarsely, his throat too dry for him to say anything more. He felt Erin sitting down next to him and the movement of the bed made him dizzy and nauseous. His body curled up into a ball as he dry heaved.

Erin ran her hand soothingly up and down his leg, “Baby…you’ve been drinking a lot for the past four months. This isn’t good Josh.”

Josh moaned as he dry heaved again. Erin stood up and walked into the bathroom, returning with an empty trash can, setting it down next to the bed, “You’ve gotta get up sweetheart. You don’t wanna be late. You’ve been wanting to go back to work, haven’t you?”

Josh moaned again in response as he forced himself to sit up. He managed to open his eyes and they watered at the sudden light that hit him. He groaned and rubbed away the tears that gathered in his eyes, “Fuck.”

Erin set down a bottle of aspirin and water down on the nightstand, “Take some aspirin and then get going, ok?”

** ** ** ** **

“It’s about damn time you showed up,” Jordan snapped when Josh arrived at the studio. He waved her away and adjusted his sunglasses, “You look like you got hit by a truck.”

“I feel like it too,” he grumbled.

“You went out drinking again?” Harrison chuckled, patting Josh’s back, “Man, I told you to cut back.”

Josh shrugged his shoulders until Harrison took his hand off of his back. Jordan folded her arms across her chest, “Why would you get all fucked up the day before we’re supposed to be working?”

“I forgot,” he snapped, “Get off my ass.”

“Leck mich am Arsch,” Jordan hissed, pointing her finger at him.

“Luder,” Josh mumbled under his breath. Harrison and Zakk exchanged glances. Just as Josh and Jordan began their argument, which consisted of them throwing German insults at each other, Amy walked in with her cello, coming to a stop as she tried to listen to the foreign shouting of the siblings.

“Am I missing something?” Amy murmured, looking around awkwardly. Jordan was the first to stop talking and looked at Amy over Josh’s shoulder.

“Josh is all hungover,” Jordan gave Josh a special scowl before shoving past him.

“Again,” Harrison piped in, “He’s always getting all fucked up.”

“I am not!” Josh exclaimed, “Could we all just stop talking about me please and get started?”

** ** ** ** **

They’d been working for the entire day. Just writing, and experimenting with different tunes. They’d made some progress but weren’t close to being done yet. But everyone was tired and had to be heading home.

“I gotta be getting home to Aria,” Jordan said as she stood up, stuffing her notebook into her bag.

“I gotta be getting to bed,” Amy added, “Sean and I are going to be looking for an apartment tomorrow.”

Harrison stood up, scratching his back with one of his drumsticks, “I’ll be seeing you guys later.”

Josh left the studio, opening the door and letting the evening summer breeze greet him. He yawned as he pulled his car keys from his pocket, “Josh.”

Josh turned around. Amy stood in front of him, worry written all over her face, “I know that to Jordan this is nothing because she’s your sister and she doesn’t notice much but…the rest of us are a little worried.”

“About what?” Josh opened the back door of his car and gently placed his bass inside, “I’m fine. And Jordan doesn’t notice whatever you think is going on because she’s got problems of her own.”

“Well yeah,” Amy shrugged, “That may be so but that’s not the point. The point is that…we think you might have a problem.”

“A problem?” Josh laughed as he slammed the back door, “Like I said, I’m fine.”

“Well we’ve all noticed that you’ve been doing a lot of heavy drinking lately,” Amy said softly, “Has Erin said anything to you about this?”

Josh sighed, “Jesus Christ. Would you leave me alone? I’m perfectly fine.”

“You know…we’ve already essentially lost Jordan because of her denial,” Amy grumbled, “We don’t need you off in the clouds too.”

“Fuck off,” he said. He threw open his car door and slid into his seat. Amy crossed her arms and shook her head.

“This must be a family thing,” she said softly, “Guess you’re just gonna have to hit rock bottom before you allow anyone to help you.”

Josh sat in his car for a moment, sinking in his seat. After awhile, he watched Amy speed off and he glared at her as if she could see him. He looked out his window, watching Zakk, Harrison, and Jordan walk out. He kept his eyes on his little sister. Was he a hypocrite? He wanted her to see the forest for the trees and get away from her abusive asshole husband. But he was in an abusive relationship of his own. He groaned and shook his head as he started his car and drove home.

“Erin?” Josh called when he got home. Erin had already left for work. He sighed and held a 12 pack of Bud Light under his arm even though he knew Erin was gone. He opened it and grabbed one bottle, putting the rest into the fridge. It was warm but that was alright, the rest would be cold. He was going to enjoy his night. Fuck everybody else.