Status: I started this story years ago when I was young and I'm too far now to start over. So bear with me hahaha! I added some inside jokes I should not have added. I apologize in advance hahaha!
Love Song
Chapter 46: So I am waiting patiently for you to change my name
Josh
Saturday, April 27
He heard the front door close and a few moments later he heard Amy’s car start and she drove away. Josh opened his fridge and pulled out a case of beer. He wouldn’t even bother grabbing one at a time tonight. He was going to numb these feelings tonight with alcohol. After finishing his first bottle of beer, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up. The smoke hung like a thick cloud above his head and he closed his eyes while he took a long sip of another bottle of beer.
After a few hours, Josh had finished off his case of beer and his ashtray was filled with remnants of cigarettes. Even in his drunken state, he couldn’t make himself forget about the conversation he had with Amy. It would be stupid if this week meant anything. He had known Amy since they were both kids. Though there wasn’t a major age difference, it was still impossible to suddenly make a connection that was never there before. But now it was just too late. For years, he couldn’t remove the previous image he had of Amy. He’d seen her as the same nine year old. But after this, he could never go back to seeing her as a kid. He could only see her as a woman now and that was the last thing he wanted.
Josh passed out sometime in the middle of the night and his mind wandered. Suddenly, he was back in the old apartment and he was ten years old again. It was the end of the first week of school. Josh and eight year old Tia were waiting in their step-dad’s truck and Jordan was taking much too long.
“What is taking Jordan so long?” Tia asked with a pout.
“She’s bringing her friend along,” John replied.
“What friend?” Josh said, pressing his forehead against the window.
“They met on the first day and we agreed to let her come after school today,” John explained.
The car door opened and Jordan got into the backseat with her new friend, “Sorry I took so long. Amy had to use the bathroom.”
Josh fought the urge to say something sarcastic. He would’ve been interrupted by Tia anyway, “What’s your name?”
“My name’s Amy,” she replied. She grabbed onto the back of the passenger seat where Josh sat so she could pull herself up to get a look at him, “You’re Josh right?”
“That’s me,” Josh said, “Can we go home now?”
Josh hadn’t really expected Amy to be in Jordan’s life past maybe middle school. But the two of them kind of grew up together. Josh saw Amy almost every single day for the next ten years. Even when they were basically adults, Josh had never seen her the way he did now. He’d never thought of it. Not once. Maybe it was because he’d ended up meeting Erin and he didn’t notice Amy growing up anymore. What bothered Josh the most was he couldn’t explain why he suddenly felt this way towards Amy. He just had to remind himself that it was all pointless because she was marrying Sean and he shouldn’t have slept with another man’s future wife. It was all wrong.
When Josh woke up, he was lying on his stomach on the couch. He rubbed his heavy, tired eyes and immediately put his face back down into the cushion when the light hit his eyes, making his head throb.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he groaned into the couch. He carefully sat up, not wanting to throw up if he sat up too quickly. He grabbed his phone and looked at the three missed calls from Amy. He saw it was late in the morning so she had to be awake by now, though he was basing this off of…well, nothing. He quickly dialed Amy’s number and leaned back in his couch. It rang twice before Amy picked up, “Josh I called you three times last night. Where were you?”
“I uh, went to sleep a bit early last night,” Josh replied, “What did you need?”
“Can you come over?” Amy asked. Josh knew it would be stupid to accept her invitation. He shouldn’t let her keep digging herself deeper. But his mind wasn’t really working too well at the moment. His brain was too focused on the nausea he was experiencing to talk himself out of saying yes.
“Yeah,” he said, “I’ll be over in about an hour.”
Saturday, April 27
He heard the front door close and a few moments later he heard Amy’s car start and she drove away. Josh opened his fridge and pulled out a case of beer. He wouldn’t even bother grabbing one at a time tonight. He was going to numb these feelings tonight with alcohol. After finishing his first bottle of beer, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up. The smoke hung like a thick cloud above his head and he closed his eyes while he took a long sip of another bottle of beer.
After a few hours, Josh had finished off his case of beer and his ashtray was filled with remnants of cigarettes. Even in his drunken state, he couldn’t make himself forget about the conversation he had with Amy. It would be stupid if this week meant anything. He had known Amy since they were both kids. Though there wasn’t a major age difference, it was still impossible to suddenly make a connection that was never there before. But now it was just too late. For years, he couldn’t remove the previous image he had of Amy. He’d seen her as the same nine year old. But after this, he could never go back to seeing her as a kid. He could only see her as a woman now and that was the last thing he wanted.
Josh passed out sometime in the middle of the night and his mind wandered. Suddenly, he was back in the old apartment and he was ten years old again. It was the end of the first week of school. Josh and eight year old Tia were waiting in their step-dad’s truck and Jordan was taking much too long.
“What is taking Jordan so long?” Tia asked with a pout.
“She’s bringing her friend along,” John replied.
“What friend?” Josh said, pressing his forehead against the window.
“They met on the first day and we agreed to let her come after school today,” John explained.
The car door opened and Jordan got into the backseat with her new friend, “Sorry I took so long. Amy had to use the bathroom.”
Josh fought the urge to say something sarcastic. He would’ve been interrupted by Tia anyway, “What’s your name?”
“My name’s Amy,” she replied. She grabbed onto the back of the passenger seat where Josh sat so she could pull herself up to get a look at him, “You’re Josh right?”
“That’s me,” Josh said, “Can we go home now?”
Josh hadn’t really expected Amy to be in Jordan’s life past maybe middle school. But the two of them kind of grew up together. Josh saw Amy almost every single day for the next ten years. Even when they were basically adults, Josh had never seen her the way he did now. He’d never thought of it. Not once. Maybe it was because he’d ended up meeting Erin and he didn’t notice Amy growing up anymore. What bothered Josh the most was he couldn’t explain why he suddenly felt this way towards Amy. He just had to remind himself that it was all pointless because she was marrying Sean and he shouldn’t have slept with another man’s future wife. It was all wrong.
When Josh woke up, he was lying on his stomach on the couch. He rubbed his heavy, tired eyes and immediately put his face back down into the cushion when the light hit his eyes, making his head throb.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he groaned into the couch. He carefully sat up, not wanting to throw up if he sat up too quickly. He grabbed his phone and looked at the three missed calls from Amy. He saw it was late in the morning so she had to be awake by now, though he was basing this off of…well, nothing. He quickly dialed Amy’s number and leaned back in his couch. It rang twice before Amy picked up, “Josh I called you three times last night. Where were you?”
“I uh, went to sleep a bit early last night,” Josh replied, “What did you need?”
“Can you come over?” Amy asked. Josh knew it would be stupid to accept her invitation. He shouldn’t let her keep digging herself deeper. But his mind wasn’t really working too well at the moment. His brain was too focused on the nausea he was experiencing to talk himself out of saying yes.
“Yeah,” he said, “I’ll be over in about an hour.”
♠ ♠ ♠
So uh, here it is. No question of the day today, no big long author's note. I kind of feel like shit so bye.