Love Song

Jordan

Friday, June 20

Normally, I was up at the crack of dawn because Ryan would always manage to wake me up while he got ready to leave for work. Most of the time, he would realize I was awake and make me get up to cook him breakfast or whatever he thought up in that moment to get me up. But since I was pregnant, he just left me alone. The one good thing about being pregnant was that he never really hit me, although he had hit me once while I was pregnant with Aria but other than that, he was pretty calm with me and that was always nice. And Ryan did wake me up early that morning but this time it was on purpose but he wasn’t doing it to be cruel which was surprising.

“I just wanted to say good-bye,” he whispered, kissing my cheek. I rolled onto my back, still disoriented. My tired blurry vision could still see a smile spread on his lips and he bent over to kiss my belly. He always enjoyed the pregnancy but he never really participated in the actual raising of the child, which was incredibly irritating, “I love you both.”

“Mmm,” I mumbled, too busy burying my face back into my pillow to try and go back to sleep, “Yes Ryan, we love you too.”

“Give me a kiss good-bye,” he said.

“Ryan, I don’t wanna kiss you before I’ve had a chance to rinse out my mouth or brush my teeth,” I said, “I’m gross right now.”

“Jordan,” Ryan’s voice lowered and I knew I’d better comply or he’d get pissed off. I rolled onto my back and let him kiss me on the lips. He licked his lips and chuckled, “Your chapstick tastes like apples.”

I offered him a pity chuckle and planted my face back into my pillow, “Have a good day Ryan.”

I’m sure he said something after that, but I was already knocked out and I didn’t wake up again for a few hours. It was Aria’s two year old babbling that woke me up. I sat up and turned my clock so I could see what the time was.

“Oh shit,” I said to myself. I hurried into Aria’s bedroom and lifted her out of her crib to change her and bathe her and feed her. It was a nice morning for the both of us. I took her outside onto the back patio so she could enjoy the summer sun while I sat a few feet away, smiling at my little girl. After about an hour, my cell phone rang.

“Hello?”

“It’s Amy.”

I leaned back in my chair, “Hey Amy. Did you talk to Josh yesterday?”

“I did,” she replied but she didn’t go into detail, “I just bought a test but I don’t wanna take it back at my house. If Ryan isn’t home, could I come take it at your house?”

“Ryan’s at work,” I said, “So yeah you can.”

“Great! Thank you!” Amy said with a sigh, “I’ll be over in a bit.”

I hung up and got out of my chair to grab Aria, who was obviously ready for her nap. I took her upstairs into her bedroom and laid her down in her crib. It was getting to be that time where she was getting too big for her crib and we’d be getting her a bed instead. She grinned as I kissed her cheek and she grabbed onto my face to return the gesture. I almost broke into tears when she did that and I brushed the hair off her forehead, grinning as I watched her close her eyes.

Amy wasn’t kidding when she said she’d be over in a bit. As I made my way downstairs, my doorbell rang. I opened it and Amy was on the other side, her eyes wide with panic. She was not handling this well at all.

“So, are you ready for this?” I asked. Amy sighed, pulling the box out of her purse and staring at it like she was afraid of it.

“I don’t know,” she replied.

“What are you gonna do if it’s positive?” I asked. Amy’s green eyes went from the box to me.

“Adoption,” she answered me without hesitation and I frowned.

“What did Josh say?”

“He doesn’t get a say,” Amy responded so harshly it was a little concerning. I tilted my head to the side but didn’t bother asking because I had a feeling she wouldn’t tell me. So I just pointed in the direction of my bathroom, the one where I’d caught Amy and Josh making out a year ago coincidentally.

“Well, I’ll be right here if you need anything,” I said. Amy slowly made her way towards the bathroom and she shut the door behind her. I knew she would be in there awhile so the ten, fifteen minutes of silence didn’t bother me too much. It was the sudden scream that got my attention. I ran for the bathroom and grabbed onto the doorknob but it was locked, “Amy! Amy are you ok?! What’s the matter? What did the test say?!”