Love Song

Amy

Tuesday, November 25

“So, where are you going tonight?” I asked, watching Josh tie his shoes. This would probably be the first time he’d gone out since he’d quit drinking. Josh had been clean since that day but I was still a little nervous about him going out tonight. Apparently, he was meeting up with Zakk and Harrison tonight to celebrate Harrison’s recent engagement.

“I’m not sure yet,” Josh said. He pulled his pant leg down over his shoe and stood up, giving me a reassuring smile. Josh’s entire appearance had changed since he quit drinking. His hazel eyes had life again and he didn’t look so tired all the time. Those were things I had never noticed until he stopped drinking, “But no matter where I go tonight, I promise you, I won’t drink anything. Zakk and Harrison already know I quit drinking so they’re not gonna care.”

“Speaking of Zakk,” I stopped to adjust the collar of Josh’s leather jacket, “How is Zakk? Jordan said he just kinda disappeared. Zakk and I have never been super close so I wouldn’t know. She said he was acting kinda strange when she saw him. It wasn’t anything too severe but it was slightly noticeable.”

Josh responded with a shrug, “I wouldn’t know either. This is the first time I’ve seen him since last year when the tour ended. I’ll keep my eyes open and see if anything seems off about him.”

I sighed and offered him a smile even though I was a bit uneasy still. Josh grabbed my arms and kissed my cheek, “I’ll be back. Don’t wait up.”

“What time are you getting home?” I asked. It was about ten o’clock and I had every intention of waiting up for him just in case. Josh followed my eyes to the clock on the mantel and counted in his head.

“I don’t know, maybe eleven thirty or midnight,” Josh replied, “I don’t intend to stay out late. Jordan wanted to get some writing done tomorrow and I need a rested brain to concentrate.”

“Maybe tonight isn’t a good night to go out then,” I said.

“I already told you I’m not drinking,” Josh chuckled, “Zakk and Harrison are gonna be hurtin’ tomorrow if they drink too much. You’re coming tomorrow too, aren’t you? We need our cello player.”

I nodded, “Of course I’m coming. We’ll be at the studio, right? Not Jordan’s house?”

“Trust me, no one would be going if Jordan had us get together at her house,” Josh groaned, rolling his eyes, “Jordan wouldn’t even want to be there. Ryan has off the entire summer and she has to see him more than normal. The pregnancy has done her some good I suppose. He hasn’t really hit her as far as I know but still. His presence itself is aggravating.”

“I know,” I sighed and then looked back up at the clock again, “Well, you better get going before Zakk and Harrison start asking you where you are.”

Josh nodded and opened the front door, waving as he left the house. I let out a heavy sigh, listening to his car door open and shut, then hearing the engine starting and him backing out of the driveway and driving away. I didn’t really know what to do with myself for the next couple of hours but I needed to keep myself busy so I didn’t fall asleep when he came home. A part of me just wanted to see what he would do. I wasn’t sure if this was my insecurity or my lack of faith in him. Tonight would be the ultimate test of will.

I watched TV on the couch for a few hours but despite my efforts, I fell asleep. When I woke up, the TV was still going and I looked at the clock on the mantel, which told me it was almost three in the morning. I went upstairs and checked the bedroom but Josh wasn’t there. He hadn’t come home. I angrily ran down the stairs and grabbed my cell phone off the coffee table, furiously punching in his number and waiting. After a few rings, it went to voicemail. I dialed him a few more times but got the same result each time. I groaned loudly and threw my phone down onto the couch. Another few hours had gone by and now I was just too pissed off to sleep. It wasn’t until about six forty-five in the morning that my doorbell started going off. When I threw open the door, there was Jordan in a panic with tears streaming down her face. She grabbed my wrist and started to pull, “We’ve gotta get to the hospital Amy.”

Now I was starting to freak out. I’d been angry about Josh not answering his phone when he could’ve been hurt in the hospital this entire time. Even if he’d gotten hurt because he’d gotten drunk, it was still heartbreaking, “What happened? Is Josh alright?”

“Josh is fine,” Jordan said with a whimper. She tried to add on to what she said but was having a hard time from crying so much. Finally she managed to speak once more, “It’s Zakk.”