Helena
Dreaming
Helena told me once that if you want to catch yourself dreaming, you must find something to read whilst you are asleep. And once you have read it, you look away for a few seconds before checking to see if the writing has changed in any way. If it has, you have caught yourself dreaming, and Helena told me it was the most magical feeling in the world. I tried it for weeks after they died, desperate to find it was only a dream, and that I would wake up sooner or later to find them both in their bat cave.
Even in my genuine dreams I couldn’t forget them, rotting corpses and funeral marches trumpeted in my ears the second I closed my eyes. Only once in my life did I catch myself dreaming, and it was an experience I remember to this day.
I watch as two figures slowly approach each other through the darkness. From where I am sitting, perhaps in another dimension, I can only see the outlines of their bodies as they rush towards each other and embrace before enormous black gates. I suddenly realise who they are, and reach out desperately.
“Helena” I call out
I know neither she, nor Gerard will hear me, but I call to them anyway. I feel tears fall down my face as I watch them together at last. T grows gradually lighter, until I can make out the black suit Gerard is wearing, a shock of red for his tie. Helena has on a long black dress; ruffled and decorated with roses similar to the ones she decorated the chair with. She no longer looks pale and lifeless. Her face is shining with happiness as she gently takes Gerard’s outstretched hand.
“You ready?” he whispers softly
She nods, as he reaches up to unlock a tight chain bolting the gates shut. They swing open with a sharp screech as bats exit swiftly, fluttering past them. I know now, that it doesn’t matter where they are going. It doesn’t matter if its heaven, hell or some other place altogether. It makes no difference because they are together. Gerard steps through the gateway first, the stripe neatly painted down his face and his eyes shining for the first time since before he was in prison. I know this is where I have to say goodbye; that this is the last dream I will ever have.
“I love you Helena” I whisper
She turns to face me, and although we are now in different worlds, she smiles warmly. But before I know it, she has stepped through the gate to join Gerard. Slowly the two of them fade from view until I am alone again, abandoned in my own nightmares. I get up shakily and turn my face towards the horizon. In the distance, a parade marches over the sloping mountains and through my dark world.
I am not afraid anymore; I know why they have come.
I watch for a while, as they fade into the mist. I know they are not dark, or evil. They are not here as part of a nightmare, and they do not haunt me.
They are here to welcome Helena and Gerard into their new life.
And that is not a dream...
Even in my genuine dreams I couldn’t forget them, rotting corpses and funeral marches trumpeted in my ears the second I closed my eyes. Only once in my life did I catch myself dreaming, and it was an experience I remember to this day.
I watch as two figures slowly approach each other through the darkness. From where I am sitting, perhaps in another dimension, I can only see the outlines of their bodies as they rush towards each other and embrace before enormous black gates. I suddenly realise who they are, and reach out desperately.
“Helena” I call out
I know neither she, nor Gerard will hear me, but I call to them anyway. I feel tears fall down my face as I watch them together at last. T grows gradually lighter, until I can make out the black suit Gerard is wearing, a shock of red for his tie. Helena has on a long black dress; ruffled and decorated with roses similar to the ones she decorated the chair with. She no longer looks pale and lifeless. Her face is shining with happiness as she gently takes Gerard’s outstretched hand.
“You ready?” he whispers softly
She nods, as he reaches up to unlock a tight chain bolting the gates shut. They swing open with a sharp screech as bats exit swiftly, fluttering past them. I know now, that it doesn’t matter where they are going. It doesn’t matter if its heaven, hell or some other place altogether. It makes no difference because they are together. Gerard steps through the gateway first, the stripe neatly painted down his face and his eyes shining for the first time since before he was in prison. I know this is where I have to say goodbye; that this is the last dream I will ever have.
“I love you Helena” I whisper
She turns to face me, and although we are now in different worlds, she smiles warmly. But before I know it, she has stepped through the gate to join Gerard. Slowly the two of them fade from view until I am alone again, abandoned in my own nightmares. I get up shakily and turn my face towards the horizon. In the distance, a parade marches over the sloping mountains and through my dark world.
I am not afraid anymore; I know why they have come.
I watch for a while, as they fade into the mist. I know they are not dark, or evil. They are not here as part of a nightmare, and they do not haunt me.
They are here to welcome Helena and Gerard into their new life.
And that is not a dream...