My Heroin

“Why should it have been you, Cody?” The therapist asked.

“Because Amelia didn’t deserve to die.” Cody caught himself saying this out loud.

“What?” Ted asked from the seat next to him.

He had gone over those therapy sessions over and over again in his head, and he’d often catch himself answering the questions out loud instead. “Nothing.” He shook his head.

“No one deserves to die, Cody. What happened, that was a freak accident man…let Amelia rest in peace. You’ll be with her again someday, but today’s not that day.” Ted reassured his friend.

“What’re you two talkin’ about?” Randy came back from the bar with three more beers.

“Amelia.” Cody said. For a second he thought he glimpsed her violent red hair from across the room and straightened his back to get a better look.

“You okay?” Randy asked.

“I thought—never mind. What’s the score?”

oo

“He’s killing himself, help him!” Amelia screamed in Ted’s ear, but of course he couldn’t hear her. “Can’t you see he’s high as a kite right now? Oh God I wish someone would just go into our house and see all the things he’s been putting in his body! If you knew Ted, you would help him! If you knew!”

Suddenly the bar scenery changed into a bright light, as if someone was taking a picture of her and the flash was on. She had been taken back to the Limbo-like place.

“There’s nothing you can do for him. Just let him die. He wants to be with you anyway.” Brian said. Brian was a spirit who enjoyed making fun of Amelia and tormenting her. He had black spiky hair; he was tall, and muscular. His arms were covered in tattoos. Amelia hated the piercing in his nose. It was a stupid little loop in his left nostril. All the skin that was exposed to Amelia was also covered in tattoos, she wondered if his whole body was inked up. The most tattoos she had ever seen on a person were Randy and Phil. She smiled as she remembered their stupid little “Macho Men” contests they had at the hotel pools and argued over whose tattoos were better.

“He has to go on living. I have to help him.” Amelia replied and turned away from him.

She felt Brian’s arms encircle her and he placed his head on her shoulder. “You can’t do anything unless there’s someone out there who can see us, which there aren’t many.”

She shrugged him off of her, she didn’t want Brian touching her; she only wanted Cody. “I can try. There’s got to be someone to help him, I just know it.”

oo

Cody gasped as he stuck the needle in his arm and shot the substance through. He looked at himself in the mirror; blood shot eyes with dark circles underneath, growing pale, ignored stubble on his face, profusely sweating every time he took a pill or shot up. He hardly recognized himself.

“Look at yourself, you’re a fuckin’ mess! Can’t fend for yourself, always gotta have someone there for ya you pussy! Can’t live without someone so you’ve resulted in slowly killin’ yourself, you’re a sad excuse for a human being you know that? You don’t deserve to live. You should just speed up the process and get it over with.” Cody couldn’t believe the words that came out of his mouth…did they even come out of his mouth? His lips in the mirror were moving, but he didn’t feel them moving…didn’t feel the worrisome rumble in his throat that he recently developed…he felt like he was losing his mind as well.

“Without her you’re nothing! You’re a piece of shit! Can’t do anything right! Always gotta be takin’ somethin’ to help you sleep, to help you wake up, to get you high, to bring you down, pill after pill after pill! Look at yourself! You’re a waste! Nothing good is ever gonna come outta you! NOTHING!” The reflection in the mirror shouted at him, and started to change into a much older version of Cody Rhodes, a wasted man dying in his sleep, looking much older than he was because of all the drugs he had taken. A black mist grew next to the bed his future body was laying on, and it grew into a form of a tall creature in a black cloak and raised a warty hand over Future Cody’s face, and sucked something out of him. His body rose, and fell limply back onto the mattress and started to decay.

“No…” Cody whispered, “NO!” He pounded his fists on the mirror until tiny little shatters started piercing his skin.

“Cody! Cody what’s wrong?” Randy had somehow gotten into the house and grabbed a hold of Cody from behind and threw him into the bathtub and turned on the cold water. Cody started to move but then slumped and covered his face. He was too ashamed to start crying in front of his friend.

“Cody—“ Randy said as he looked around the bathroom. The place was filthy. All over the counter top were drugs: pills, needles, cough syrup…he guessed Cody had run out of his supply so he tried getting high off of the cough medicine. “How could—“

“I do this to myself? I DON’T KNOW! All I know is that I miss her! I want to be with her, and I’ll do whatever it takes to see her again!” Cody shouted, his face growing red from anger and a few tears slid down his cheeks.

Randy knelt to the ground next to him. “Listen man, what you’re doing…it’s not good. You can’t do this, you have to move on. Amelia’s in a better place now and I know she’d want you to be happy. Don’t do this to yourself.” He begged.

“I can’t.” Cody replied in a hoarse voice, “I want to die. I can’t handle life without her. I just want to be with her. WHY WON’T ANYONE LET ME BE WITH MY WIFE?” He shouted once again, and started sobbing. Randy put his arms around him as he shook and sobbed; shook and sobbed. He had to do something. He knew he and Ted would have to tell Vince McMahon what was going on, it was too much for Cody to come back on the road. They had to get him help.

oo

“See? He’s beyond help. There ain’t nothin’ you can do now, Milly.” Brian smirked from his metal chair.

“My name isn’t Milly!” Amelia shouted, “And I WILL help him! I’ll find someone who can see things like us, I get them to get through to Cody, he’ll hear what I have to say and he’ll be okay….he’ll be okay…”