Ladies, Guys, Babies - Taboo? (LGBT)

Kelsey Lee turned eight years old three months ago. She had come from school with a look of curiosity on her face that I knew wasn’t going to mean something good. Dinner that night was calm, like it usually was. I turned to Kelsey to try and figure out what it was that she was just so curious about.

“How was your day at school, sweetie?” I asked like I usually did, hoping to get an answer out of her.

“It was good. Kinda boring.” She continued to eat her snack and started at a new book to read.

“No homework today sweetie?”

“Nope. I finished all my work in class.”

“That’s good.” She gave me a smile and went back to reading. I went back to cooking dinner when I heard Ty’s car pull into the driveway. A smile came across my face. I turned the stove on and started to heat up the pan when the door opened. Ty put her keys on the hook, took off her jacket, set it on the chair, and came over to me. She put her hands on my hips and gave me a kiss on the back of my neck.

“Hey baby,” she said quietly in my ear.

“Hey sweetie.” I turned around and gave her a kiss on the lips. “How was work?”

“Alright. Pretty slow actually. I’ve missed you all day. I couldn’t wait to come home and see your beautiful, smiling face.” She gave me another kiss.

“Save some for later babe. I’ve got to cook.” Another smile came across my face and I went back to the food. As we sat down for dinner, Kelsey still had that look on her face.

“What’s on your mind, sweetie?” Ty asked her, noticing it as well.

“Momma, how come I have you and Mommy?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, feeling my stomach drop into my ass.

“Mommy, I have you and Momma. My friends were talking about their dads today and when they asked me about mine, I said that I don’t think I have a daddy. But that I had you and Momma. How come I don’t have a daddy?”

She was right in that sense. Tom hadn’t come to see her since she turned three. He continued to send money, though it got progressively less over the years. We started at a hundred dollars every two weeks, and somehow he found it acceptable to send thirty dollars a month. Ty thought he was back to spending his money on drugs, but I didn’t want to think about it. I loved him still, but I wasn’t in love with him anymore. Ty was my life now along with our daughter.

Snapping back to reality, Ty and I looked at each other. We always knew this question was going to come up sooner or later, we just always thought that we’d be prepared to answer it. I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn’t find the words. Kelsey didn’t seem to notice much.

“Kelsey, baby, it’s a long story full of love, hate, trust and mistrust. You do have a daddy. He’s just not around anymore. He hasn’t come to visit you since your third birthday. He sends you money every month, but don’t think that you don’t have a daddy. You do. He’s just not the greatest man in the world. . .” Kelsey didn’t say anything. She just nodded her head and finished her dinner. I couldn’t eat anymore after that and Ty helped clear the table.

I got up, washed my face and went to the bed. I couldn’t look at my daughter - not when all I could see were Tom’s eyes. I needed a break. There was no doubt that I loved daughter and who she was becoming, but it hurt me to see her want to get to know a man that didn’t seem to care.

“Kelsey?” I heard Ty say.

“Yes Momma?”

“Come here, I wanna talk to you.” I heard Kelsey’s footsteps, then Ty pick her up to sit her on her lap. “Baby, soon, we’ll tell you more about your dad. You do have one, he’s just a jerk. Mommy and I will sit down with you and tell you everything, but you just wouldn’t understand it yet, so just remember that you have two loving parents, and that’s all that you need.”

“I know. I love you and Mommy. I wouldn’t change that. And if my daddy’s a jerk, then that’s his loss. He’s missing out on a great girl to get to know!”

“Yes. Yes, he is. Now give me a hug and change into your pajamas.” Ty kissed her forehead and leaned back into the couch. I knew it hurt her to see Kelsey asking about Tom, and I knew it her to have to think about how things could have been. . .

My life could have been with Tom and Kelsey, rather than her and Kelsey. . .

I could have married Tom and Kelsey could have had brothers and sisters from both parents together. . .

I could have been living with Tom, and taken his last name, rather than Ty’s. . .

But instead, Tom screwed that up, and I met Ty that night those many years ago. . .

She showed me that she cared for me and loved me, even when I showed her no chance of us being together. . .

She wanted to help take care of a child that wasn’t hers. . .

She was willing to spend the rest of her life with me, no matter what anyone else thought or said. . .

I heard the door open and Ty walk in. She reached for a pair of shorts and a tank top, and then crawled into bed next to me.

“Ashley, don’t worry, baby, everything’s gonna be fine. Kelsey is alright. In a few years, we’ll tell her what really happened – you know, when she’s ready. But for right now, she’s fine with the information she’s got. She really is. Now, please don’t stay up too late thinking about it. We both have work in the morning and it’s something we don’t need to spend time worrying about.” I looked at her and gave a small smile that quickly turned into a big one when Ty looked into my eyes. I gave her a good night kiss and fell asleep in her arms.

*****

Kelsey Lee was now well on her way to becoming a young woman. She’s fifteen years old, and she came home from school – again, with that look on her face that she had seven years before. I knew what she was going to ask. I waited for Ty to come home and sat down with the both of them in the living room so that we could talk about it as a family. My heartbeat quickened, my mouth dried up and my hands started to sweat a little.

“I know what you’re going to ask Kelsey. . . It’s about your father and why you don’t have one,” I said to her, taking her hand in mine.

“How’d you know?”

“Do you remember seven years ago? What Tyler told you about your dad?”

“Yeah. Momma told me that he was a jerk and left us before I was born. But. . .”

“But what, sweetie?” I asked her.

“How does that happen? I mean, I know. I’m nowhere near planning to be a mother, but I’m in a relationship with Ali, and I can’t picture something like that ever happening.”

“Well, Kelsey, there’s a lot about your dad that you have to first understand. The day you were conceived was after a huge fight he and I had because he went around and told a bunch of his friends things they didn’t need to know.”

“So I was conceived through make-up sex? Oh, great.”

“Well, yeah. But that’s besides the point here Kels. Before then, Tom – your dad and I had been together for eight months. The was when we had sex together for the first time, and that was also the same day that I had gone to my very first gay club and met Ty. Tom threw a fit because my best friend – Ryan, you know him – is gay and, because he was drunk and high, he said a lot of things and did a lot of things that I didn’t like. It was a long, hurtful process getting over him. But after the ‘make-up sex’ as you put it, we broke up because that was all he wanted. Maybe that was all he ever wanted out of the relationship. A month after, Ty and I got into a car accident. That was the day I found out I was pregnant with you. I told him when I got the chance, and, at first, he didn’t want to deal with it. But he showed up at my house one day and told me that he wanted to help. I didn’t want the help from him. We let it be. The day you were born, he came to the hospital. I sucked it up and gave you his last name, and agreed to let him send you money to help out. But, as you can see, now he’s sends nothing.”

“Well, he’s kind of an asshole, huh?” Kelsey asked me.

“Yeah, kind of.”

“Well, would you completely mind if I looked for him?”

“No, why?”

“Well, I have to do a project on my family. And, technically, he is my family. I have to do a family tree, but I want it to be my whole family, including him.”

“Honey, I don’t mind if you want to look for him. He hurt me, not you. And I never wanted you to not know him. I decided that the day he came to the hospital. But, I’ve always left that door open – the one for you to see him and for him to see you – but you were too young to really realize it and he – he was just too much of an asshole to do anything about it.”

“Okay. Well do you have his number or something? A way I can contact him and talk to him at least?”

“Yeah. I do. Let me call him, and you can talk to him, yeah? We’ll do it after dinner.” Dinner never seemed to take so long to cook and be eaten. I mean, it’s not that I wanted to talk to Tom again, or even have to associate myself with him again, but it was for our daughter. The least he could do was pick it up and talk to her – the worst, not pick up and be an asshole for all of eternity.

After cleaning up, I picked up the phone and dialed his number.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ri –

“Ash?” My breathing stopped.

“. . . Tom?” It was silent.

“. . . Look, I know I haven’t been sending you any money to help with Kelsey. Things have been kind of rough for me lately. It’s wrong. But I need my money right now Ash. I’m sorry.”

“Tom, stop. This isn’t about money. Kelsey has to do a project on the family. She wants to include you. So if you could suck up your damn ego for an hour or two so she can do her project that’d be great. And one more thing.”

“Anything Ash. What is it?”

“She wants to talk to you. As in now. So here you go.” I handed the phone over to Kelsey. She was nervous – I could tell. Her fingertips were ice and her eyes were wide.

“Hello? . . . Dad?”

“Yeah, I’m your dad Kelsey. How are you?”

“I’m good I guess. How come you haven’t sent any money to help Mom & Momma out with me?”

“I know. I haven’t Kelsey. I just had a change in jobs, and this new job doesn’t give me as much money as I used to get. Soon though. You just wait Kels. You’re gonna get whatever you want from me.”

“Okay. Well, do you work tomorrow? I have a date tomorrow, but that’s a night. Maybe we can spend the day together – go to the park? You know, somewhere we can talk and I can get all the information I need for my project.”

“Uhm. Yeah. Sure. Sounds great. I’ll pick you up around noon – we can have lunch first.” Kelsey handed me the phone.

“Hey. Tom. Thanks for doing this for her. But if she gives me one word about how you did or said something disrespectful or rude I don’t know if I can let you see her without me or Ty supervising it. What time are you coming for her tomorrow?”

“Noon.”

“See you tomorrow then. Bye.”

Kelsey had mixed emotions to how she felt about meeting her father. I didn’t want to see him. I had long since got over him and I didn’t feel like getting that rush of emotions again. Ty was going to be there. It was her day off and, frankly, we needed a day alone – just the two of us.

We all headed to bed and Ty watched TV as I laid awake next to her.

“Baby. What’s going through your mind right now?” she asked me, taking my hand in hers.

“Tomorrow. If Tom does anything to make her feel uncomfortable, I’m going to rip his head off.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Feisty. Ash, just give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he really has changed. How did he sound on the phone?”

“Surprised.”

“Well let them spend the day together tomorrow. Get some sleep tonight because tomorrow we’ll be all alone and I’ve got plans for us.” I smiled as I shook my head and stole a kiss. I slowly drifted off to sleep in Ty’s arms and before I knew it, I was waking up at ten AM. Kelsey was freaking out.

“Kels. Kels! What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know if I’m more excited about my date tonight or about seeing my dad. . .”

“Why are you so excited about your date Kelsey?” Ty asked.

“Today makes Ali and I being together for eight months. I love her Momma. I really do. I just want tonight to be special.” Ty and I looked at each other.

“‘Special’?” We both said at the same time.

“Guys. Come on. Spe-cial,” she said, widening her eyes.

“You sure you’re ready for that, Kels?” I asked.

“Mom,” she whined.

“Kelsey, you don’t have to do it, you know.”

“But I want to. We both want to.”

“And you’ve talked about this with each other?” Ty asked her.

“Of course we have Momma.”

“Just get ready for the day with your dad Kels. We’ll talk about this later.” Everyone got ready and soon the doorbell was ringing. My heart raced and my breath quickened but I was able to calm myself down and open the door. We looked at each other and stood there. Ty came from behind me and broke the stares.

“Come in, Tom. Kelsey isn’t quite ready yet.” He sat down on the couch and we sat across from him. “So, where are you two going?”

“I was gonna take her out to the diner, and then go to the park. You know, if that’s okay with you.”

“It’s fine. She just needs to be home by seven,” I said.

“Yeah. She told me she has a date. Have you met the boy? How old is he? Is he good? Does he treat her right? Does he have a job? How long have they been together?” Ty and I looked at each other and laughed a bit.

“One question at a time Tom. And yeah, Ali’s good to her. Of course she treats Kelsey right – do you think I would let them be together if she didn’t? Ali is seventeen and works at the supermarket. They’ve been together for eight months now.”

“. . . Ali?”

“Yeah. Ali.”

“Short for. . . Aaliisstaiir?” I laughed harder.

“Short for Aaliissoon,” I said, teasing him.

“Kelsey’s . . .”

“Lesbian,” I said finishing his sentence for him.

“How do you know that?”

“Tom. You know how most kids don’t hang out with kids of the opposite sex because they have ‘cooties’? Well Kelsey didn’t hang out with the opposite sex because they looked different. She has never liked the way boys looked.”

“Oh, great.”

“She’s your daughter Tom,” Ty broke in. Kelsey came running down the stairs. I walked over to her.

“If you dare say something to her about being a lesbian, I will find you. And I will cut your face. She’s my daughter as much as she is yours, more if anything, and if you dare tell her it’s wrong or that she should give boys a shot, or anything of that sort, you’ll regret it. Ash and I never pushed or rejected the fact that she liked girls. We told her that whoever she wanted to be with was fine by us as long as they treated her right. Okay?” Tom nodded his head as he acknowledged to Ty that, for the first time, he was actually scared of her.

They left. Everything seemed to be going okay. Kelsey texted me every once in a while saying she was okay and Ty and I cuddled on the couch watching movies. She had cooked me an amazing lunch and didn’t let me lift a finger to even change the channel.

At six forty-five Tom’s car pulled into the driveway and Kelsey walked up to the door. I heard her keys jangle in the doorknob and Tom’s car pull out and drive away. Kelsey slammed the door and wiped tears off her face. Ty’s body language changed – tensing up, making me have to get off her. Kelsey ran to sit next to me and curled up – her head in my chest.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” I asked her, getting her hair out of her face.

“Mom. Everything was fine. I got the information I needed about him and his family. Then he started asking about you guys and how I felt about having two moms and how I felt about how you both treat me. Then he started asking about my personal life. Like, if I was a virgin and if I’d ever had or currently have a boyfriend. And I told him that it wasn’t his business whether or not I’m a virgin and that yes, I’m in a relationship but it isn’t with a boy.” She cried a little harder.

“What did he say?” I felt Ty’s fist tighten in my back.

“That he didn’t think his daughter should be with another girl because ‘it’s wrong’. He tried to tell me how it goes against his religion and that, one day, he wants to have grandkids. I told him to take me home. He knew I was upset with him. Once the tears fell he tried to apologize, but I didn’t want to hear it.”

“What a fucking douchebag. I told him not to do that. I told him whatever he did, he had better not say anything about you being a lesbian.”

“Kels. . . That’s the number one reason he and I couldn’t stay friends. . . I mean, okay, I left him for Ty, but it’s not that I was with someone else. It’s the fact that I was with a female. He doesn’t homosexuality, obviously. I’m sorry, baby. It’s okay. Just forget about him.” I hugged her tighter as she hugged me back. Ty got up and headed to grab her keys. “Where are you going?”

“To tell him what I told him I’d do if he disrespected her like that.”

“Momma, wait!” Kelsey sat up.

“What is it Kels?’

“I don’t think he knows I found it. . .”

“Found what?” I asked.

“This.” She held out a sandwich bag with smaller bags inside of it. Most of it was weed. Some of it was cocaine. I felt the blood rise to my ears and my breath quicken. I stood up and took it from her. Ty went back to get her keys and stopped before leaving through the door.

“Are you coming with me or am I doing this alone?”

“No. You go. I’ll stay here with Kelsey.” I knew what Ty was capable of doing. Disrespect in that form to her daughter was something she deemed unacceptable. The moment we found out I was pregnant we hadn’t touched drugs again. We flushed everything and got over it all.

I helped Kelsey calm down and told her she should get ready because Ali was going to be over soon. Ty came back as Ali pulled into the driveway.

“Hey. Kelsey. Remember what Ty and I told you earlier. You don’t have to –”

“I know Mom. If it happens it happens. I love you. Be back before midnight.” She gave me and Ty kisses on the cheek and ran off to Ali’s car.

Ty sat on the couch with a hard look on her face. She started laughing though.

“What’s funny?” I said, turning to look at her. She put her arm around me.

“His face when I told him what was gonna happen to him if he did that, then, his face when I showed up at his house and he opened the door.

“What did you do you to him Ty?”

“I pinned him up against his wall and made him promise that he was never going to say anything to Kelsey about her life choices again. And if she told me that he did, he was going to lose something important of his.”

The phone rang.

“What, Tom?”

“So Kelsey told you what I said huh?”

“Yeah. She did. You fucking idiot. You can’t even accept your own fucking daughter, huh? You know what? To be honest I don’t think she ever wants to see you again. And if for whatever reasons he does, you can only see her in this house when Ty or I can watch you because what you did was fucking disrespectful. And next time? Hide your fucking drugs a little better where our fifteen year old daughter can’t find them.”

I hung up the phone and resisted the urge to pull my hair out. I sat next to Ty, breathing hard. We watched TV, waiting for Kelsey to come back from her date. I hoped she didn’t do anything that she wasn’t ready for. At eight months with Tom I thought I was ready – in fact, I knew I was ready. But being “ready for sex” and not thinking of the possible consequences isn’t really ready at all. . .

Kelsey came home with a smile on her face and a spring in her step.

“I’m guessing your date went well then?” I asked her.

“Very.”

“Did you guys. . .?

“No. We didn’t. We thought we were going to, but the most we did was make out. We’re not ready for it yet. I know, it’s different for me than it was for you because I’m with a girl and it’s not possible for a girl to get me pregnant, but emotionally, I know it can screw you up. So we both decided to wait a little longer. Thanks Mom.”

“Of course baby. Now you get some sleep.” Ty and I gave her kisses goodnight and headed to the bed ourselves. Tom screwed up, and most likely wasn’t going to be in her life, but we tried. Maybe we’ll try again. Who knows?

Ty and laid next to each other, our breathing heavy. We had an odd day. Horrible, but with a great ending. I fell asleep in her arms and the sound of her breath in my ear calmed me.

My daughter was doing well. She knew right from wrong and cared for herself a lot. . .

I was proud of the person she’s become. . .

As for Tom? Well, only time can tell if he’d ever learn to stop associating himself with drugs. . .