Poison

I sat next to Jack oddly as the wind whipped through my hair. Lisa was in the middle of spilling her guts about how much she had loved me, how much she was missing me – I mean Jade. I shook my head as a silent tear trailed down it. I looked from Jack, on my left to Alex on my right who was bouncing Dani on his lap to keep her quite during the service. He had already spoke; he had talked about how great of a cook I was and a great laugh – how much he would miss me? He couldn’t say. That would be measured in wasted thoughts and spilled tears of the future. I smiled absently at Alex, he always had a way with words.

Jack was to be the last to speak. Of course, the dotting husband of ten years, who loved Jade so dearly; I turned my head to the side to get a better look at Jack whose face was lined in fake tears. I put my hand on top of his and whispered in his ear, “I’m so sorry, you must have really loved her.”

Silently he nodded and stood as Lisa finally shut up and sat down next to Alex. I crossed my legs and bit my lip to keep from smiling. This was going to be an all out riot for me – Jack’s acting; he might be able to fool everybody else, but I know the truth.

“First off, I want to thank you all for coming – honestly Jade would have wanted to be cremated but I thought she should be buried here, next to Annalyn,” I looked over outside of the little tent that we were crammed in to see Anna’s stone that I – Jade had taken care of so well. To start off, it was black marble and around it, it was cleaned and cleared with planted daisies; both yellow and white. It was so pretty, she really did a good job.

“Jade and me – we fought a lot and I knew she wasn’t happy with me a lot of the time, especially in the end,” My ears perked up at this. “It’s no secret that Jade wanted to leave but I loved Jade and I will always love her. She was my wife and I would have done anything for her. I’m just, just…” That’s when Jack broke down on the podium and something in me snapped. I jumped up from my seat and rushed to Jack’s side, which at this point was closer to the ground than a moment ago since he was now on his knees and clutching his side.

I mentally cursed myself for giving into his performance but then another side of me reneged on that and thought that maybe it wasn’t just a performance but may on the off chance, it was sincerity.

“Come on Jackey; let’s get you back to your seat,” I grabbed one arm and put another hand on his back and stirred him in the direction of the front row of seats. As we sat back down to set the Preacher finish things off, I opened my clutch to hand Jack a tissue – when I did hand it to him, he took it slowly and didn’t even say thank you. I shrugged it off and watch silently as they moved the podium out of the way and the Preacher talk.

“We have heard from all of Jade Barakat’s dear, close friends and loved ones. So now we shall close the ceremony – Alex?” I looked over at Alex who handed Dani over to Lisa; he had a piece of sheet music in his hand. What was he doing?

“Jack?” I whispered. But he ignored me and I settled my eyes back up at Alex who settled himself against the podium which had been moved to the right side of the tent.

“Wish you were here, wish you could see this place
Wish you were near, I wish I could touch your face
The weather's nice, it's paradise
It's summertime all year and there's some folks we know
They say, "Hello, I miss you so, wish you were here"

The weather's nice, in paradise
It's summertime all year and all the folks we know
They say, "Hello, I miss you so, wish you were here"
Wish you were here.”

His voice sounded so sad and it was laced with tears. I frowned as I tried to place the words, I knew that Alex didn’t write that song. Quickly through, I refocused my attention to the casket that held Jade – the old me as it lowered to ground level; one foot under the stars. Jack stood and instantly he grabbed my hand and brought my up with him.

We walked forwards.

They kissed goodbye at the terminal gate
She said, "You're gonna be late if you don't go"
He held her tight, said, "I'll be alright
I'll call you tonight to let you know"
He bought a postcard, on the front it just said Heaven

For a moment, we just stared down into the hole and after that we threw some dirt in and I picked a daisy off of a vase that was on the ground and threw it in. Jack shot me an odd look. I knew it was because of the daisy. Daisies were always Jade’s favorite and there was no way I could’ve known that.

With a picture of the ocean and the beach
And the simple words he wrote her
Said he loved her and they told her
How he'd hold her if his arms would reach

Jack tugged me off to the side and we watched as the others took either clumps of dirt or flowers and through them into the hole. I could feel Jack’s gripped grow tighter and eventually I thought that my hand was going to fall off because of lack of circulation.

Wish you were here, wish you could see this place
Wish you were near, I wish I could touch your face
The weather's nice, it's paradise
It's summertime all year and there's some folks we know
They say, "Hello, I miss you so, wish you were here"

I tugged my hand away and placed it around my back as he instantly put his around my shoulder. I really shouldn’t like being this close to him, heck I shouldn’t even allow it after he killed me. But maybe this is what’s supposed to happen, I thought as my mind started to wonder.

She got a call that night but it wasn't from him
It didn't sink in right away, ma'am the plane went down
Our crews have searched the ground
No survivors found she heard him say
But somehow she got a postcard in the mail
That just said Heaven with a picture of the ocean and the beach
And the simple words he wrote her
Said he loves and they told her
How he'd hold her if his arms would reach

My heart started to beat fast as my head connected the dots; the lying note, my mixed feelings for Jack, the even weirder feeling I got around my old body.

Wish you were here, wish you could see this place
Wish you were near, I wish I could touch your face
The weather's nice, it's paradise
It's summertime all year and there's some folks we know
They say, "Hello, I miss you so, wish you were here"

The weather's nice, in paradise
It's summertime all year and all the folks we know
They say, "Hello, I miss you so, wish you were here"
Wish you were here

I pushed Jack’s arm off of my shoulder and started to walk away when we were out of ear shot from the rest of the mourners I turned to face him because I knew he would be following me, “I’m sorry, Jack – but I just can’t-“

I couldn’t speak any longer because Jack had cut me off. Care to take a guess as to why? Yes, with his lips and I couldn’t help myself, I was kissing him back but after a moment I broke it off.

“What are you doing, Jack?” I asked as I caught my breath but it was pretty impossible.

Jack pushed my hair out of my face, “I like you Jamie, and I can’t help it. There’s… just something about you.”