Poison

Hello Kitty was plastered from the ceiling to the floor. There were pink streamers to match the Hello Kitty Cake and the pink cups, plates and plastic-wear. Anna was turning five years old and her world revolved around everything pink and of course ballet. That’s why Jack rented out the ballet studio and allowed Anna to run around crazy in her tutu and tights and boss everyone around.

I smiled and laughed as Anna sat on Alex’s lap, telling him that she wanted him to give her a pony for her birthday, “She’s the most spoiled child ever.”

Jack was standing to the side of me; wearing a tutu of his own because Anna insisted that ‘Momma and Daddy were tutus too’; but of course Jack’s tutu was blue, “She isn’t spoiled, Jay; Lyn’s just… well taken care of. She always will be too.”

I just nodded. I know how my daughter can be though and more importantly how Jack can be. A few weeks ago at a toy store in Los Angeles when everyone had started Christmas shopping. Jack had gotten into a fist fight with another father over a Mercedes Benz Pedal Car. But don’t think that’s the only thing that Jack has gotten in a fight over for Annalyn. We personally have gotten in lots of fights over her upbringing. I don’t think it’s good for her to be bright up so lavishly – I mean seriously, designer Juicy Couture Barbie dolls? And a fifteen thousand dollar ‘Princess Castle Playhouse Loft Bed’? Please don’t get me wrong I’m like any mother – I do think that my child deserves the best but my definition of the best and Jack’s is very different.

“Momma! Uncle Alex is gonna buy me a pony!” Anna raced towards me and I put her on my lap. She started to talk a mile a minute about how she wanted pretty white one like the one she saw that girl on TV ride and how she was going to name is Butterfly.

When she stopped to take a breath, I asked, “Is Uncle Alex buying you a stable, to put your pony in?”

Anna’s eyes squished together and I glanced up at Jack who had a look of pure amusement on his face as Anna jumped up off my lap and called out, “UNCLE ALEX!”

I stood up and laughed as Jack wrapped his arm around my waist and we watched Lyn attack Alex’s legs, questioning him. First with what is a stable? And then if he was going to buy her one for her pony. Alex looked up at me with a very pained look on his face and all I good do was laugh.

Laughing – that’s probably one of the things I miss the most. When you die you’re going to realize how much you never did, what you always did. What you miss out on because you chose something else – Because you went right instead of left. (Always go left) You should laugh more, cry less. I really wish that the laughter had remained. That it had stayed in placed of the tears that soon took its place. Of the events that unfolded. Of the tragedies that occurred. If I could’ve known the future, then maybe I would’ve wanted to spoil her too.