A Poetic Retelling of an Unfortunate Romance

Dark tinted Wayfarer sunglasses covered the bloodshot eyes of Ella, hiding her dark brown orbs from the prying eyes of tourists that busied themselves snapping shots of Venice’s boardwalk and anyone who walked upon it that warm Saturday afternoon.

Leaving James was one of the hardest decisions that Ella had made in her life, but she just couldn’t bring herself to stay with him if he planned on continuing peddling those processed poisons that tears families, as well as nations, apart because she knew that eventually he would suffer a similar fate as her uncle.

Ella refused to wait around for that to happen.

Some may say that her leaving proved that her love for him wasn’t all that strong, that it couldn’t even deal with him dealing but when you love someone, really love someone, sometimes you have to leave in hopes of them realizing that what they’re doing is wrong.

Ella rubbed the back of her neck, surveying her surroundings to figure out where to wander off to. For sure she couldn’t go to her house. James would check there. Going over to a friend’s house sounded tempting but Ella didn’t want them to see her crying.

Tears, in her opinion, were a private thing, something that no one would ever see from her because Ella’s the smiling one, the eternal optimist and she doesn’t want anyone fussing over her.

After a few minutes the decision to sit on the sand was made, there were a still a lot of people on the beach some running around chasing after their kids, others busy making out on the sand, and random clusters of teenagers from other cities that had gone to Venice for fun.

“To everything - turn, turn, turn. There is a season - turn, turn, turn; and a time for every purpose under heaven. A time of war, a time of peace; a time of love, a time of hate; a time you may embrace; a time to refrain from embracing.” Ella sang softly as she looked into the setting sun.

“That’s a very interesting rendition of The Byrds,” spoke a voice from behind.

Ella turned around, curious to see whom had spoken, her eyes widening slightly when she saw a familiar young man with dirty blonde hair that seemed straight out of the 1950’s. “Fucking aye, is that you Roscoe?”

“It is indeed.” He liked that she remembered him. “So where’ve you been? There’s been a lack of Ella at the school.”

“I’ve been going to school in Baldwin Park,” answered Ella.

Roscoe cocked his brow at her. “Why?”

“Educational opportunities,” Ella moved over a bit when he sat down.

“But Venice has a way better education system than that city, I mean I don’t know if that’s true but it sounds like it would be.”

“I didn’t say that I left because they had better educational opportunities I just said that I left because of educational opportunities, maybe I like schools with lower standards,” laughed Ella, “It’s easier to come out on top!”

“That’s true but I'm really confused though, your family still lives here so why are you there?”

“Just because,” answered Ella. “So have you been terrorizing the hipster scum at school?”

Roscoe began cracking up. “You remember hipster scum?”

“Of course I do! That was one of the greatest moments in our Geometry class. I still can’t believe you told him that though, you’re such a douche!”

“Not even! Everyone in there was thinking that, I was just the only one with the balls to say anything to that pretentious little hipster fuck,” argued Roscoe.

Ella shook her head. “Lies!”

“I was the only person to say anything to him.”

“Don’t you remember that a week before that I asked him if his pants cut off circulation to his balls?” Ella smiled devilishly.

Loud laughter erupted from Roscoe who remembered the incident in which Ella had stared intently at the pants of the hipster kid before asking him if his ridiculously tight pants cut off circulation to his balls.

“Now that you mentioned it, I do remember that. Didn’t the teacher make you move seats because of that comment?” –Ella nodded her head- “And that’s when you ended up sitting in front of me.”

“And that’s when we started smoking out together before class,” added Ella, remembering all the times that she had smoked out with Roscoe before their third period began.

“Do you want to grab a smoke right now?” he asked hopefully.

“I would but I have to get home right now,” Ella lied.

“Next time then,” smiled Roscoe.

“Definitely,” Ella stood up from her place on the ground, “See you around.”

Ella walked off with a bright smile on her face, but it vanished when she was a good distance away from Roscoe. He was a good guy, a friend, but she wasn’t in the mood to humor anyone, all she wanted was to go lift some weights in the garage to get her frustration out and then, after working out, curl up on the couch with a glass of wine and a Jane Austen novel.

That’d get her through the night; that and some nachos.

Fifteen minutes into her walk home, Ella was taken from her thoughts by the bubbly voice of her best friend, Zoë. “Ella!”

“Zoë!” exclaimed Ella in faux excitement. “What are you doing here? I thought your family was going to Nebraska.”

“We were, but then we realized that it’s stupid to go to Nebraska if we live in California.” Zoë’s golden locks blew slightly in the breeze. “I mean why would anyone go over there in the summer, it’s stupid, like Nebraska is a place to go in the winter when you want snow.”

“Or when you want to stalk Conor Oberst,” added Ella.

Zoë scrunched her nose. “I don’t know what you see in him.”

“It’s because you’re too much of a California girl to see it,” teased Ella. “Your requirements for male perfection are much different from mine.”

“So true, that reminds me, aren’t you supposed to be at James’ place?”

Ella nervously bit down on her bottom lip, a sign that she was lying, “I decided to stay at my parent’s house, it’s empty and I can go risky business in there.”

Zoë knew what the lip biting meant but didn’t press the subject since she was very well aware that her dear friend was a suffer in silence type of person that preferred keeping negativity to herself so as to not ‘bum out’ people around her.

“Are you going to be alright by yourself?” asked Zoë.

“I should be, maybe tomorrow we can have like a slumber party? Ooh shit! Let’s have back to back slumber parties! We haven’t had one of those in ages!”

“Will there be chick flicks and margaritas?”

Ella shot her friend a ‘duh’ look. “When the fuck are those two crucial elements lacking in our slumber parties?”

“Never, but I was just checking.” Zoë was going to say something more but when she spotted James sitting on the porch at Ella’s place she decided to leave to give the two some space. “If you need me, just call, alright?”

“I'm going to be fine.”

Zoë hugged Ella tightly. “Call me or else I’ll cut off your hair.”

“Always threatening these unruly locks,” stated Ella.

“It’s the only material thing you care about.” Zoë kissed Ella’s cheek. “Bye.”

Two deep breaths were taken by Ella before she began walking towards her house. Her right hand clutching to the strap of her backpack to keep her from causing some sort of scene in front of her house, she didn’t want to seem like the stereotypical loud overdramatic Mexican woman.

“What are you doing here?” she asked softly, staring away from him.

James stood from his place on the porch, grasping the bouquet of sunflowers tightly as he searched for the right words to tell her that he was sorry, that she was the only thing that mattered in his life but words, the right ones at least, eluded him.

“If you’re not going to say anything I’m going to go inside. I have better things to do.”

Ella moved to walk inside her house, but he grabbed her arm, lifting his gaze to meet hers while he uttered those precious three little words that he had been frightened of saying. “I love you.”

Flabbergasted, Ella was completely flabbergasted, “W-w-what?”

“I love you,” repeated James, loving the way that saying those words felt, it felt right, as if he had just discovered some universal truth. “I love you Gabriella Acosta, with all my heart.”

“Telling me you love me isn’t going to change what’s happened,” whispered Ella, struggling to keep herself from jumping into his arms.

James nodded his head in understanding. “I know that, but I want you to know what I feel for you. I didn’t lie when I told you that you were my cosmic mate, you are. You’re everything that’s good in this world and I love you so much that it scares me.”

“Love shouldn’t be scary.”

“But it is,” James placed a hand on her cheek. “I'm scared of losing you Ella. I'm a fuck up that always ruins everything and loses everyone but I don’t want to lose you.”

“James. . .”

“The drugs are shit; I know that, look at what I’ve become from using that shit! I’ve lost forty pounds. My hair isn’t what it used to be and I'm paranoid as fuck but I kept lying to myself saying that it wasn’t that bad, that I could keep dealing keep using but I can’t keep doing it if . . . if I'm going to lose you but you need to understand that it’s not going to be easy. Getting clean is going to be a bitch; it’s not going to be something that I can do on my own. I'm going to need you to be there for me, can you?”

“We’ll get you clean James, we can do it,” whispered Ella.

“Thank you Ella, I swear that I'm going to get better, that this world is all in the past.”

“It better be because if I find out from anyone that you’re using or dealing, I won’t hesitate in leaving and I won’t come back. Understood?”

James smiled softly. “I'm never going to give you a reason to leave again.”