A Poetic Retelling of an Unfortunate Romance

The music played softly, only loud enough for Ella to hear as she lay in bed crying into her pillow. It had only been two days since the break up with James but it felt like an eternity without him.

No one would know that the break up with James was having such a serious toll on her. She didn’t want to worry anyone but most importantly, she didn’t want anyone to think that she was some pathetic woman that needed a man to be happy, she didn’t, she doesn’t but having James, having that man in her life gave her fulfillment in ways that she had never dreamt possible.

He had lit a fire deep inside her soul, a fire that had been fed with his love and attentive caresses. That fire was growing wild with each passing moment. It demanded James, his touch, his lips, his voice, it wanted him, needed him, but Ella refused to satisfy the flames.

Even though it pained her, she had to be without him.

Ella needed to start her own life, to get her stuff together before she went off to school in the fall. She was no longer the child that she had been when she had first fallen in love, she was a legal adult and it was time to stop dreaming that he would magically change and become her own personal Mr. Darcy.

In the real world Mr. Darcy didn’t exist.

Ella was taken from her thoughts when Janis Joplin’s voice replaced David Gilmour’s. Her head snapped in the direction of her laptop, cursing at the contraption for putting on such a heartbreaking song. She was tempted to slip out of bed to switch the song but the surge of emotion that swept through her left her immobile.

All she could do was sob into her pillow as Janis sang, “A woman left lonely will soon grow tired of waiting. She'll do crazy things, yeah, on lonely occasions. A simple conversation for the new men now and again, makes a touchy situation when a good thing's coming to an end. And when she gets lonely, she's thinking 'bout her man, she knows he's taking her for granted, yeah, yeah, Honey, she doesn't understand . . .”

Forty minutes passed before Ella managed to fall asleep.

The next morning Ella awoke with a headache. She cursed her existence, muttering something along the lines of I want to lie in bed all fucking day but that wasn’t an option for Ella.

She had to get ready for school.

She had to get ready to act the part of the carefree teenager.

After a few minutes of silently arguing with herself, she got out of bed and trudged over to the dresser where she grabbed some black leggings and an oversized men’s dress shirt, she also grabbed a grey cardigan and flats to complete the look.

Nothing was done to her hair; it was left an unruly mess. Make up was strategically applied to conceal the dark bags under her eyes as well as the random blotches of red that stained her forehead, whenever she cried her skin reddened in certain place, it was something that annoyed her greatly.

When Ella wandered into the kitchen, she was greeted by Olivia who held a large coffee traveling mug filled with French Roast coffee in her hands. Olivia didn’t drink French Roast which meant that she had made the cup just for Ella.

“Morning,” greeted Ella groggily.

“Good morning Ella,” Olivia smiled softly. “I made you some coffee.”

“Thanks,” Ella inhaled the scent of the French Roast, letting it soothe her. “There’s nothing like a cup of coffee in the morning.”

“Agreed, though I’ll never understand your love of the French Roast,” Olivia poured herself a cup of her Cinnamon Roast brew. “I want you to know that if you don’t want to go to school it’s alright. I’ll call them up and say that you’re sick or something.”

“Thanks but I want to go to school. I have some plotting that needs to be done for the campaign.”

“You sure?” she asked.

“Being amongst others will do me good. I’ll get to focus on everyone else’s drama and forget my own.” Ella chuckled lightly, “God Bless High School and the overdramatic teenagers that dwell in it.”

“I will never understand you,” muttered Olivia.

“That makes two of us, now, am I getting a lift to school or must I walk?”

“Let me get my purse and I’ll drop you off.” Olivia disappeared into the hallway, minutes later she emerged with her purse in hand. “That reminds me. I think we should have a girl’s night, you and me, Jane, Domino’s pizza and the living room couch. How’s that sound?”

“Like heaven.”

The moment that Ella arrived at the high school, her guy friends descended upon her. They wanted to start planning since they wanted to top last year’s prom campaign and during the course of their ten minute talk, the news of Ella’s break up came out.

It hadn’t been intentional.

Ella hadn’t planned on telling them until a few days before the prom since they weren’t a part of her Venice scene, but when Julian asked her if James was going to prom, she found herself forced to tell them what had happened.

“We broke up on Saturday,” she stated nonchalantly.

“Broke up?”

“Yeah, broke up,” repeated Ella.

“Why are you so calm? I thought girls are supposed to go fucking crazy after break ups.”

“I can try to make myself cry if it makes you guys feel any better but I'm honestly alright, like I’ve moved on, I already have a prom date lined up so I'm good.” Ella smiled reassuringly.

“You already have a prom date?” exclaimed Julian. “Fucking aye, how do you already have a prom date if you broke up with him on Saturday?”

“Because I'm big pimpin’,” Ella quoted the Jay Z song.

“For real,” laughed Aldo.

“So who’s the guy?” asked Michael.

“He’s from Venice.” Ella answered.

“Does he play any sports?”

“No, he’s to busy being a Greaser to play sport.”

Andre tilted his head back and let out a whistle. “Fucking Ella got herself a Greaser. Nice. Are you two going steady now? Is that the right term or did I fuck that up?”

“It’s the right term but we’re not going steady. We’re just going to prom together and having some fun, alright? So you assholes better not tell him that I'm in love with him or any weird thing that you guys might think of.”

“Rest assured that we will not only think of inappropriate things to say, but we will make sure to say them.”

“You guys are ridiculous,” muttered Ella.

“Isn’t everyone?”

The rest of the day went by in a blur.

It consisted of going to all six periods and socializing during brunch and lunch. Ella played her part flawlessly; no one suspected that she was heartbroken. She had managed to convince her friends that the break up didn’t bother her, that it meant nothing and as she told them that she was okay, she almost believed it, but the pang in her heart reminded her that she was far from okay.

When Ella arrived at the house she was greeted by her sister who was dragging blankets into the living room. It was mid May and in Baldwin Park, which meant that it was 94 degrees outside.

“What are you doing?” asked Ella in an amused tone.

“Getting ready for our girl’s night,” answered Olivia. “Can you turn on the AC and put it at 62?”

“Why so cold?”

Olivia placed a hand on her hip. “So that we can comfortably burrow ourselves underneath warm blankets while we watch the classics.”

“And you say I'm weird.”

“Oh shut up you cunt faced fuck,” Olivia shot Ella a playful glare.

“That is the raddest curse word ever, whenever I hear it I have to giggle.”

“Agreed,” Olivia began placing the pillows on the couches. “The pizza’s going to get here in forty minutes so you should go do your homework so we can watch movies guilt free.”

Ella didn’t do her homework.

All she did was lie on her bed while she stared at the ceiling in an attempt to ignore her cell phone that had been ringing nonstop since she got out of school. She knew who was calling her, he’d been calling all weekend but she wasn’t going to pick up.

The pizza soon arrived and Ella relocated to the living room where she plopped down on the couch beside Olivia. The first movie they were going to watch was Persuasion, a personal favorite of Ella’s. Persuasion wasn’t as popular as Pride and Prejudice, but Ella loved it a bit more than P & P.

Halfway through the next film, Sense and Sensibility, a knock came from the door. The knock was ignored at first, neither wanted to pause the movie to go answer it, but when a familiar voice shouted Ella’s name they knew that the person wasn’t going away.

“Do you want me to tell him to leave?” asked Olivia.

“I’ll tell him.”

Ella stood from her place on the couch, breathing in deeply before beginning the short walk to the front door. She didn’t want to talk to him, but she wasn’t going to make her sister handle her dirty work.

“Ella,” exclaimed James when she emerged from the doorway.

She closed the door behind her.

“What are you doing here?” Ella averted his gaze.

“I want to talk to you. I tried calling but you didn’t pick up.”

“Did you stop to think that maybe I didn’t answer because I don’t want to talk to you? Did you stop to think that maybe I'm purposely avoiding you?”

James remained silent.

“Why don’t you just go? There’s nothing for you here.”

“That’s not true, you’re here.”

“Like I said,” Ella fought back her tears. “There’s nothing for you here.”

“Ella,” whispered James, his voice cracking with emotion. “Please look at me. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that.”

Ella’s hands balled into fists at her side. “I want you to leave James.”

“But I can’t leave you, you’re my bird. . . I love you.”

“If you loved me then you wouldn’t have treated me so poorly. If you loved me you would’ve faked interest in prom!”

James took her face in his hands, forcing her to look him in the eyes. “I’ll go to prom with you! I’ll rent a big fucking limo to take us there. I’ll do whatever you want, but just take me back.”

Ella removed his hands from her face. “You should’ve wanted to go when I asked you to!”

“I was being stupid, but I have my head on now,” James eyes begged her to take him back. “I’ll do whatever you want, wear whatever you want if you just call off your date with Roscoe and go with me.”

“You bastard!” cried Ella. “The only reason you want to take me to prom is because you found out that I'm going with Roscoe! You just don’t want me to be happy with anyone else! You want me to be miserable.”

“That’s not true!” argued James. “I want you to be happy and that’s why I'm asking you to the prom.”

“No, you’re just asking me to prom because you realized that there are other guys in the world that find me attractive and you don’t want me to be with anyone else but you! Oh, I hate you James Parker!”

“That’s not true!”

“Yes, it is!” growled Ella. “And I want you off my sister’s property or else I’ll call the cops.”

“Ella, please . . .”

“Leave!”

James shook his head in annoyance. “I'm going to leave but don’t think that this is over. I'm going to get you back. If it’s the last thing I do, I'm going to get you back.”

“Fuck off!” Ella stormed into the house and slammed the door shut behind her.

“Ella, are you okay?” asked Olivia softly.

“No, but I will be.”