A Poetic Retelling of an Unfortunate Romance

It was late, two in the morning to be precise, Ella was lying in bed, clutching her blankets tightly to her frame, but although she was tucked underneath her blankets, she was wide awake. Her eyes were firmly fixed on the nearby wall. She was staring at a crack in it, trying to focus on it, trying to lose herself in the crack so that her mind would go numb, thus allowing her to finally fall asleep, but her mind refused to cooperate.

It wanted to torture her with the day’s memories.

It wanted to make her feel like the worlds biggest bitch for having yelled at her friends for caring about her. And the truth is that her mind didn’t have to remind her of how much of a bitch she had been, Ella already knew that she hadn’t been in the right, that her behavior towards them was appalling.

Angry at herself for having screamed at her friends, she decided to climb out of bed so that she could make her way over to Julius’ room next door. She knew there was a good chance that he wouldn’t want to talk to her, that he would give her the cold shoulder for a few days, but she had to apologize for her behavior.

“Julius . . .” she whispered softly as she knocked.

There was no response.

“Julius . . .” she repeated, that time, saying his name with a bit more force. “I know you’re in there. I can hear Lady Gaga in the background.”

“Go away,” Julius shouted.

“Not until you let me talk to you.”

“Why do you want to talk to me? I thought all I ever do is fucking nag.”

Ella rested her head against the door. “That’s not true. You know that’s not true.”

“If it’s not true then why you would say it?” he countered.

“Because I was being a massive bitch that was angry with the world,” replied Ella. “I was taking out my anger on you guys and I'm sorry . . . really, really sorry.”

The door opened slightly, allowing Ella to see half of Julius’ face.

“Are you really sorry or are you just trying to get in my pants?” a small smirk played across his lips.

“Damn it, here I was thinking that you wouldn’t figure out my true motive,” Ella played along.

“You’re lucky I love you or else I’d shut this ass off.” Julius opened the door completely. “Next time you do something stupid, don’t take it out on us, we’re just trying to help.”

“I know and I promise that I’ll never take it out on you guys again. It’s not right.”

“It’s not,” Julius reached out to touch her face. “You’re such a hot mess right now. Come on, let’s go grab some food from Lotus House and we’ll come back to my room to watch some movies. We’ll have our first slumber party of the semester.”

“Sounds perfect,” Ella smiled brightly. “Let me go put some shoes on.”

“Don’t tell the fungus where we’re going,” ordered Julius in a hush tone.

“Fungus?” her right brow instinctively went up.

“Yes, fungus,” repeated Julius. “She looks like a fungus to me so I'm going to refer to her as the fungus.”

“That’s really mean.”

“Am I lying?” he folded his arms across his chest.

Ella chuckled lightly. “No, but that doesn’t make it any better.”

“Of course it does, now, let’s go!”

The pair piled into Julius’ car and began the incredibly short ride to their favorite Chinese restaurant, Lotus House. The restaurant wasn’t far from their apartment, only a ten minute walk but they were both to lazy to put in the effort that the walk would take and decided that since Julius had brought his car up, it was only right that it be used.

After ordering and getting their food, the pair returned to the apartment and made their way to Julius’ room. Ella climbed atop Julius’ bed, holding their food tightly in her hands as Julius busied himself with popping his copy of Arrested Development. Five episodes were watched by the teenagers before they fell asleep together. They were strewn across the bed, Ella resting on her side and Julius resting his head on her back.

Early the next morning, Ella awoke to the sound of her phone ringing. She swore softly as she crawled towards the edge of the bed so that she could grab her cell phone from her jacket that was lying on the ground. She fumbled through her pockets and upon finding her cell phone, a quiet triumphant sound escaped her lips but when she saw that James was the one calling, her smile vanished.

The phone was placed on silent and she returned to her place beside Julius.

Ella hoped that she’d be able to fall back asleep but she couldn’t. All she could do was lay there, wondering what James was doing. If he had thrown the gun away, if he had finally severed ties with Dylan and the drug dealers.

“He hasn’t done any of that,” she muttered to herself.

Ella knew that he was still dealing. If he hadn’t quit in the four years that they were together then he wasn’t about to quit now. He would never quit. The only way he would leave that business would be in a box.

A week after the detainment, Ella received an e-mail from the University of California Berkeley Office of Student Conduct telling her that she had a hearing pending with them. The e-mail terrified her, the language was formal, sounding like something better suited for a court room and as Ella sat there, she, realized that she was going to have to hire some lawyers.

She knew that it sounded odd for her to get lawyers when it was just a hearing with the Office of Student Conduct but Ella knew that it was better to be over prepared than to show up on her own. Ella considered asking her parents for money, but she knew that they’d want to know why she needed such a large sum so she did the only thing she could do; she tapped into her European vacation savings.

There was quite a bit of money in her savings, $4,984 to be exact and she had been saving that money since she was in seventh grade. Ella had always planned on using it to fund a trip to London but now that she was in trouble, she found herself forced to use all of it. Since the case was minor, it was enough to hire to established lawyers and in four days time, Ella was in San Francisco, sitting across from them as they discussed the specifics of the case.

“So do you think that I can get away with just some counseling and it won’t go on my school record?” inquired Ella as she sat across from them.

They shot her a reassuring smile. “Of course, but in order to ensure that we’re going to have to mold the truth.”

“How so?” their words sparked her curiosity.

“Well, in the copy of the police report it doesn’t say anything about where you were drinking or what you were drinking and we know for a fact that if we tell them that you – a minor – purchased her own alcohol and proceeded to consume it on her own, we won’t get any pity but if you were to twist this around so that you were a victim, then things would go smoother, much smoother.”

“Oh . . .” Ella’s brow furrowed when she caught on.

The rest of their meeting was spent brainstorming possible scenarios in which Ella could have found herself on that fateful night. After an hour of talking, they decided that Ella would tell them she had been drinking at a fraternity and that she had only had two cups of jungle juice. It was a good plan, people were always being drugged at frat parties and it was something that would be used to their advantage.

Once the story had been fabricated and the next meeting was planned, Ella left. She ran to the BART station where she caught the train heading towards Berkeley so that she could meet up with her friend Tulia whom she hadn’t seen in a few days.

Ella had met Tulia during the spring semester of her freshman year. They were in a Gender and Woman Studies class together and ended up forming a friendship. Tulia was one of the few girls that Ella truly trusted and could call a friend.

“My little croissant!” exclaimed Ella excitedly when she saw Tulia waiting in front of the Golden Bear Café.

“Elle!” shouted Tulia.

Ella hugged her tightly. When she pulled away she gently touched her friend’s hair. “I love the new hair.”

“Thanks, I was nervous about it, but I decided to go through with it. So tell me, how was the meeting with the lawyers and please tell me how you got arrested! You’ve been so secretive with this whole thing and it’s really annoying,” Tulia joked.

“I know, I know, but I just haven’t been in the mood to tell everyone the story.”

“Well you better be in the mood right now, I demand to hear it!”

“How about we grab some food first and then I tell the tale?” proposed Ella.

“Fine, but we’re just grabbing food from the GBC. I don’t want you to trick me into walking somewhere far so that I’ll forget . . .” Tulia trailed off, remembering the time when Ella had done exactly that.

Ella burst into laughter. “I’ve only done that once!”

“But that doesn’t mean you won’t try to do it again,” argued Tulia.

Two sandwiches, a large bag of chips, and a couple of sodas were purchased by the girls. As soon as they paid for their food, they ran outside where they began to look for a decent place to sit. All of their usual sitting places were being occupied so they decided to sit underneath a large tree that was to the side of Wheeler.

Ella opened her sandwich, hoping that she would at least be able to take a few bites before Tulia began interrogating, but that would not happen. The moment that Ella, unwrapped her sandwich, Tulia cleared her throat.

“I'm going to tell this story once,” Ella placed her sandwich on her lap. “And I give you permission to repeat this story to whoever asks what happened, that way I won’t have to repeat it a billion times and you’re a better storyteller than me so it’ll work out. Now, you know how sometimes I just feel like getting drunk?”

Tulia nodded.

“Well, that was one of those times but I was really stupid and drank more than I should have, I killed an entire bottle of tequila by myself and then took off running through the streets. Next thing I remember, I woke up in jail where I was informed that I had been detained for public intoxication. Thankfully charges weren’t pressed but I was fucking terrified.”

“How’d you get home?” inquired Tulia.

“Gavin picked me up.”

“Thank God for Gavin,” muttered Tulia. “So what happened with the lawyers?”

“Not much, we just came up with a story for the hearing. Apparently I got drunk at a frat party and I have to burst into tears during the hearing so they can feel sorry for me.”

“That won’t be hard. They don’t know that your brow twitches when you lie and you’re good at crying on command.”

“Hopefully it works out.”

Conversation soon drifted onto a more engaging topic. It drifted to the job that President Obama was doing in the White House. They were both liberals, but Tulia was an ardent supporter of Obama and Ella was one of those liberals that felt that he was spending too much time trying to find consensus instead of forming it. There came a point during the conversation when Tulia’s mouth flung open. She looked like a dying animal and Ella was at a loss as to what had caused her friend to react in such a manner.

“If you don’t stop doing this whole dying fish bit then we aren’t going to be able to continue our friendship because I need someone who’s going to talk and laugh at my jokes, not look at me like some sort of fucking blow up doll.”

Tulia remained silent.

“I'm going to find a dick to put in your mouth if you don’t close it.”

“Ginger,” mouthed Tulia.

At the mention of a ginger, Ella turned around and saw a rather attractive ginger standing behind her. There was a smile on his face, freckles dusted across his cheeks and as she stared at him, she couldn’t help but think that he bore a resemblance to the Weasley twins from Harry Potter.

“Admiring the view?” asked Ella.

The man chuckled. “I am. I was walking by and heard the conversation that you two were having and I couldn’t help but agree with the statement that you made about America being an angry teenage girl that had just been broken up with and that Obama was the golden boy that showed up promising everything and has so far delivered nothing.”

“I'm glad you agree with me. Most people at Berkeley worship the ground he walks on but you know who I wish would have won?”

“Who?”

“Dennis Kucinich,” answered Ella.

“Ah, I love Dennis. If he didn’t look like a leprechaun he would have been president but alas the man is vertically challenged and will never hold the office of the president. Damn America’s obsession with statuesque men.”

“Damn it to hell,” added Ella.

The ginger, whose name they learned was Elijah, sat down with them and ended up spending a good while talking to them. Ella couldn’t help but flirt as she spoke to him, she was playful, and as horrible as it sounded, flirting with him took her mind off the trouble she was having with James and with life in general.

“You whore!” hissed Tulia when Elijah was out of earshot.

Ella cocked her brow. “Excuse me?”

“You were flirting with him and you have a boyfriend.”

“I was flirting with him,” admitted Ella, “But I don’t have a boyfriend anymore.”

“Tulia’s face was overcome with a shocked expression. “I'm so sorry, I had no clue.”

“I’d be shocked if you did. I haven’t told anyone that we’re broken up,” Ella’s eyes began to wander in an attempt to take her mind off the situation.

“But why not?” asked Tulia. “You two have been together for four years, this is huge! Are you alright? What happened?! You have to tell me what happened. I thought you two were going to get married and . . .”

“This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell anyone, because you guys would get all emotional on me and demand to know what happened and make it a big fucking deal. It’s over, me and him are through and I know that you guys are just worried about me, I know that you guys really care about me but I don’t want to talk about it.” Ella paused briefly before adding. “I’d really appreciate if you didn’t tell anyone what happened. I don’t want to get a billion facebook comments asking me what’s wrong.”

“But don’t you want to talk to someone about it?” Tulia took Ella’s hand.

“No,” Ella stared at their hands. “When things go bad I'm the, suffer in silence type.”

“But you’re so . . .”

“I know what I am, I know that I'm really loud and fucking social and have my heart on my sleeve for everyone but sometimes I like my privacy, sometimes I like keeping things to myself because I don’t want people to think that I have problems, I want people to always think of me smiling, not crying.”

“Everyone has their moments,” reassured Tulia.

“I'm not supposed to,” whispered Ella. “I think that I should go. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Let’s talk about this ginger.”

A smile lit up on Ella’s face as the two young women began talking about the gingery man that had joined in on their conversation. Ella wasn’t serious about him and judging by his body language, she knew that he didn’t want anything serious either, that he just wanted something to chase but that didn’t bother Ella. She just needed something to take her mind off things for awhile.