Killer Instinct

I got home, and immediately started looking through my stuff for my notebook.
I sighed when I couldn't find it, and started looking for my phone, settling for a call to Bobby Signer.

After twenty minutes of useless searching, I started swearing until Connor came in.

"Fox, have you seen my phone?" I asked, turning to face him.

"You mean the one that was in your jean pocket that you left at the mutt's house? Nope" he said, smirking at me. Damn, he was right. I hadn't gotten it back this morning before I got changed.
I glared at him, and debated hitting him for a moment.

"Screw you" I settled for saying, getting up.

"Been there, done that, got the t-shirt" he said with a smirk, causing me to roll my eyes.

"You don't even remember any of it" I mumbled, heading to the door. I'd have to go get my phone back.

"So? Do you?" he asked, and I blushed. That I did.

"Wait. You remember? Was it good?" Connor grabbed me by the arm, stopping me mid-step.
I spun around to face him.

"Yes, I remember and yes it was good. Very good, in fact" I mumbled the last part to myself, but he seemed to have heard it since he got a smug look on his face. I suddenly felt like punching it off.

"Oh? Would that get me some more?" he asked cockily. I pretended to think, and only answered the question when he grew hopeful.

"Nope, no double-dipping" I said cheerily, shaking his arm off of me and walking off to my car.

"TEASE!" he called out from behind me. I just laughed, but didn't deny it as I got in the Impala and started driving to Jacob's again.

I tapped my fingers mindlessly against the wheel, following along to a song I wasn't listening to. Trust me, I tried, but my mind kept going back to the night before... The night Jacob gave himself to me.
I figured it out by he way he was. Lets just say he wasn't the first cherry I took... I knew how most men acted when it was their first time, and that was exactly the way he acted.
But I didn't mind too much, I knew he was mine for the taking since the first kiss we shared... When Billy told me about imprinting.
Now that I look back on it, I had been really mean to Jake and his friends, but I would do it again any day. They had to learn not to mess with me.

As I drove up, I spotted a red truck in Jacob's drive-way.
I parked beside it, and hopped out. I inspected the car, and found nothing too incriminating, but I decided I'd better grab my gun just in case. I grabbed my Desert Eagle, and stuck it in my pocket, making sure it had silver bullets. Wrought iron only works for ghosts.

I walked right into the house without knocking, and what I saw on the couch made me want to shoot someone.
Jacob was holding Bella really close to him, and she was leaning in for a kiss.

"Hands up!" I barked, pulling my gun out and pointing it between Bella and Jacob.
They both froze, and Jacob turned to look at me with his eyes wide.
But I had frozen back up. No way was I going to let him in my heart again if he was just going to go around kissing random leach-lovers.

"I can't believe I actually believed you Jacob." I chuckled darkly, still pointing the gun at them.
He was about to start spewing out lies, but I cut him off, waving my gun dismissively.

"Sure sure, whatever. You know what? I'll just grab my stuff. You two can go on as if I was never here, and... yeah" I put my gun away, going around the living room to grab the clothing that were laying around.
When I came across my lime green and black lace bra, I stared at it for a moment. I'd always remember, but there was no point in keeping it, it would always smell like him anyways.

"Here Ja-dog. A memory" I mumbled, throwing it to him.
I grabbed my pants, with my phone in them, and left back to my car, fully intent on not shooting anything.
But as I was staring at Bella's truck, I couldn't help but think

Oh, to hell with it

I pulled my gun out, and emptied the clip in the old red truck. The tired were scrap, the windshield was a thousand bits of glass, the doors looked like swiss cheese and the motor was now a useless hunk of steel.
Feeling satisfied, I hopped back in my truck and blasted the volume to max, going for a drive. I didn't care if I didn't finish school, I didn't care about the hunt anymore, I didn't care about a stupid coven of vampires anymore, I didn't care about a stupid mutt that told me about a stupid imprint, I just didn't care.
They could all die, for all I cared.

But deep down, I knew that was wrong. I still did care about school, I still did care about the hunt and the leeches, and I still did care about Jacob. I just didn't want to admit it, so I would run.
Like I always did.

I stopped by my shack/house and went inside, gathering my stuff without a word spoken to Connor. He was in the living room, researching something. I didn't care.

When I finished packing all my stuff, I came out of my room, my face an emotionless mask.

"Where are you going?" Connor asked, getting up and following me to the door.

"I don't know. I'm leaving" I said, a small frown the only hint of feeling on my face.

"Why are you leaving?" he asked. I shrugged, and kept on walking to my car.
I dropped my bags in the backseat of the impala, taking a deep breath as I slammed the door shut.

"Whoa whoa whoa, what happened? Tell me, O'Connell" he bossed, leaning on the door to block my way.
I rose an eyebrow at him, still frowning.

"Get out of my way, Fox" I hissed, crossing my arms around my chest. His eyebrows shot up. I had never hissed at him, at most I always shot a glare his way.

"Hey no, look at me. Heather, what happened to you? Who did this?" his voice became soft as his rough hands gripped my chin so that I looked at him.

"Jacob Black. And Bella Swan. Now get out of my way, I'm leaving" I mumbled, pushing him out of my way softly.
I could tell he was in shock, but I was going to use that to my advantage.
I locked my jaw as I once again started blasting music through the speakers of my car. I could feel silent traitor tears roll down my cheeks as I drove out of La Push, out of Forks, and out of this mess.
I was going hunting, I didn't care what and I didn't care why. I was going to shoot something and hope for the best, but first I would go talk with John. He would know what to do.
He always did, after all.

I took a deep breath, and parked on the side of the road as I came out of Washington.
I took my newly found phone out, and checked my contact list for John's number.
He answered on the seventh ring.

"Hello?" he asked in his gruff voice.

"Hey John, it's me" I said, letting a little emotion seep into my voice.

"Oh, hey Heather. Why are you calling?" he asked. I took another deep breath.

"What's wrong? Are you OK?" he asked again. I chuckled darkly at this.

"No, I'm not alright. Where are you? Are you with the boys?" I asked, trying to keep the shake out of my voice.

"I'm in Cody, Wyoming. Where are you?"

"In... Rathdrum, Idaho, I think. I should be there in a couple of hours" I said, starting the car again. I started driving in the general direction of that way, while me and John said our good byes. Neither of us were really big on phones, we never knew what to say.

I sighed again, drove to town, and parked in a random parking space, pulling out my laptop.

I had just reached Google maps when my phone started ringing.

"Talk" was all I said as I held the phone between my ear and shoulder and typed in my destination.

"Heather? Where are you? I went to your place, but it was empty" Jacob sounded confused an hurt.

"I'm gone, Jake. You lost me." I said, and started driving driving, following the coordinates on my computer.

"But it wasn't what it looked like!" he argued. I resisted rolling my eyes at him.

"Oh, so you weren't just about to kiss that Bella chick?" I scoffed, but then caught myself, forcing my voice to return emotionless.

"Ok, so maybe it is what it looked like, but I'd take it back any day for you!" he begged.

"But you can't take it back. I gave you your chance, and you blew it. Good bye Jacob" I said, and heard him say something right before I hung up.

"I love you" those three words were what made me shatter.
I had to pull over on the side of the road as sobs racked through my chest, and tears poured down my face.
I wish I had just given in, then this whole thing wouldn't have happened. I wish I had just let him climb into my car, and brought him home for the night. Bella would have never found him, and they would have never almost-kissed and I would have never left.
I would be in his arms right now.

Just the memory of his body pressed against mine, the feeling of his lips on mine, was almost enough to make me turn around. Almost. But my pride wouldn't let me do that, and I had promised John I'd meet him.

With that, I took a hold of myself, breathed deeply, put music back on, and started driving again.
Away from La Push, away from Jacob, away from my soul.