The Movies Make It Look Easy

Chapter 15

Shannon’s P.O.V:

I held onto my stomach, trying to catch my breath as I continued to laugh, what about I didn’t know – must be the alcohol, I thought.
I could feel it buzzing through my veins and in my head, leaving me feeling just a little – no a lot – off balance.
Everything was just the tiniest bit blurry, the orange light from the street lamps giving everything a garish glow and I felt strangely heavy, so that I stumbled even when I was standing still.
Natalie leant against the wall beside me, delicately wiping tears from under her eyes as she giggled, making sure she didn’t smear her makeup.
We slowly calmed down and stood there waiting for the others to catch up with us.
Because of the late hour there weren’t many people out, so I wasn’t embarrassed like I had been earlier when Natalie skipped down the street singing...though I wasn’t sure I’d be embarrassed even if it was in the middle of the day on a Saturday...alcohol tends to have that effect.

For the life of me, I didn’t know what had gone through our minds that had made us think that it would be a good idea to run up the street (in stilettos no less!) laughing and singing at the top of our voices. I giggled.
Natalie turned her head ‘what?’ I continued to giggle.
‘We’re drunk’ she just rolled her eyes,
‘Well, duh! You’re only just copping that now? Did you see how much wine we drank?’
I shrugged, still giggling intermittently, though nothing about the conversation was even remotely funny.
‘It’s been a while since I drank’ I explained.
‘I’d forgotten that it feels so...’
‘Great? Amazing?’ she supplied helpfully
‘Ye’ I agreed ‘amazing!’
We both started to laugh again.
By this time we could see Emma, Robbie, Lee and James coming up the road.
They laughed when they saw us.
Natalie ran over to James and hopped onto his back. She mock pouted as they continued to laugh
‘Why are you guys laughing?’
James reached around to pat her arm
‘We’re laughing because you two are crazy...and drunk’ she pouted some more.

Lee walked over to me and slung his arms around my shoulders, leaning in so he could whisper in my ear.
His warm breath tickled.
‘Don’t worry babe, I don’t think you’re crazy...but I would have to agree with the drunk comment’ he grinned at me.
I faked a wounded look and shrugged his arm off me and turned to walk away and join the others but he grabbed my hand before I could and yanked me back to him so that our chests collided.
We had somehow ended up a few yards away from where the others were chatting, in the shadow of a building.
Our faces were only inches apart.
One side of his face was lit up with orange light and the other was cast in shadow giving him a strange appearance.
He linked our fingers together and wrapped his other arm around my waist, pulling me closer.
‘If it helps, you’re one hot drunk girl’
I leaned in a bit closer, biting my lip ‘really?’
‘Oh ye’ he chuckled.
I leaned in even more until our lips were almost touching.
Something in the back of my mind was telling me that this was wrong but the alcohol running through me wouldn’t let me focus my thoughts and as my heart beat faster I didn’t care.
The arm wrapped around my waist tightened even more – if that was possible.
I looked into his eyes and saw something there but I couldn’t focus enough to figure out what it was.
Time seemed to slow, I could no longer hear the others talking and I couldn’t hear the distant sounds of cars that were a constant in the city no matter what time it was.
Both of us stopped moving with just a hair’s breadth between us.
I could feel his muscles flexing under my hands where they had moved to rest on his chest.

A loud squeal and laughing startled us both, causing us to jump apart as if we’d been shocked.
I glanced to my left to see James chasing Natalie, trying to tickle her – well that explained the squeal, I thought.
Robbie and Emma were standing with their fingers linked, smiling as they watched James and Natalie’s antics.
I glanced at Lee out of the corner of my eye. He was running his hand shakily through his hair, scowling slightly as he exhaled loudly.
He caught me watching him and grinned ruefully at me.
‘Later’ he whispered before pecking me on the cheek, grabbing my hand and yanking me over to the others.
Natalie grinned triumphantly at me but thankfully didn’t voice her no doubt loud opinion.
I just rolled my eyes, ‘can we keep moving and actually get to the club or are we just going to stand here all night?’ Lee squeezed my hand as I spoke.

Nat grabbed my free hand and started walking up the road, pulling me – and Lee – along with her.
‘You my friend need another drink’ I smiled, I wouldn’t say no, that’s for sure. ‘Besides’ she said raising her voice,
‘I need to use the bathroom...badly’
I heard sniggering behind me when she spoke.
It was an inevitable downside of drinking.
I sighed, now that Natalie had mentioned it, I realised that I really needed to go as well. I’d had other things - *cough* Lee *cough* - on my mind, so it hadn’t crossed my mind ‘til now – damn Natalie!

Ten minutes later we reached Tribe, the club we were going to.
Lee knew the owners and the bouncer so we walked straight up to him, skipping the long line, despite groans and angry mutterings coming from those waiting.
Lee and the bouncer did that guy fist-bump thing by way of greeting.
He leered at the three of us girls, his gaze settling on Natalie.
He looked away quickly as James stepped up beside her and put his arm around her shoulders.
He did the same with both Emma and I but disappointment flickered across his face as Robbie and Lee did the same as James.
‘You kids have a good night’ his voice was deep and seemed to rumble up out of his chest.
It matched his build perfectly – he resembled a house...and a two-storey house at that.
We filed inside before splitting up so we girls could go to the bathroom.
I sat on the counter swinging my legs as Nat and Emma touched up their makeup beside me.
‘So what was that little thing with Lee earlier Shan?’ Emma winked as Natalie chuckled.
I pretended I didn’t know what they were talking about despite the fact that I’d just been thinking about it myself and shrugged my shoulders.
Nat grumbled at me ‘fine, but we’ll get details later’.

When we left the bathroom we met the guys at the bar where they were waiting for us.
When the bartender looked at me, I ordered a double Vodka and Cranberry.
The others ordered their drinks and Lee also ordered six shots of Sambuca for us. While we waited, I surveyed the club.
The room was mostly dark with crowds of people packed onto the dance floor, all in different costumes, most just as cliché as we were dressed which I’m sure would make Natalie happy that we didn’t stand out for being too boring.
Coloured lights flashed overhead, illuminating the swaying crowds.
There were a couple of tables to one side and in one corner; more intimate, shadowed booths, some of which I was pretty sure were in use.
The bar behind me took up one wall and had a mirror along the wall.
There were lights under the shelves of drinks which changed from green to blue intermittently, highlighting the bottles above.
To my left were two wide open doors leading to a covered patio where groups of people were standing around chatting and laughing, many with pints in one hand and cigarettes in the other.
I had no doubt that the darkened corners outside would be in use as well.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to find my drinks on the bar in front me and Lee raising his shot in front of me, getting ready to knock it back.
I quickly did the same and Lee did a toast to “us” before we all knocked back the shots simultaneously.
I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, trying not to shudder as the liquid burned my throat.
I’d never been a big fan of liquorice and Sambuca tasted like someone had melted down a whole packet of it and poured it into a glass.
I smiled up at Lee and he clinked his pint glass against my own glass of Vodka.

Most of the night passed by in a blur, I ended up drinking a lot...that I can remember.
I probably had a lot more than I knew, after a while you hit the point where you aren’t aware of a lot of the things you do.
Natalie, Emma and I quickly made use of the dance floor after we finished our first drinks, dragging the guys with us.
It wasn’t long before we needed another trip to the bathroom.
This time though there weren’t any questions asked, just drunken giggling as we stumbled around.
I couldn’t see straight and I felt even more off-balance.
Soon, we all split up.
Robbie and Emma made their way to the booths at the back, Natalie went outside and James happily chatted up two tipsy blondes dressed as...well I didn’t know what they were dressed as, all I knew was that they were extremely slutty.
I didn’t know where Lee disappeared off to but I couldn’t seem to care, I was having too good a time and a drunken fog had descended over all but my most basic thoughts.

I was just finishing off my second – or was it my third? – Malibu and Coke, when I felt two hands snake around my waist.
I was sitting alone at the bar and had been busy chatting to strangers and making friends as only drunk people can.
I briefly leant back against his hard body before I turned around. Instead of looking into Lee’s familiar grey eyes like I’d expected, I found myself looking into a pair of startling blue eyes that I didn’t recognise.
I stepped back, the guy wasn’t very tall but he had a couple of inches on me. He was wide, but from what I could see all of it was muscle.
He was hot. I smiled at him as I tucked my hair behind my ears.
‘Wanna dance?’
I could barely hear him over the thumping music.
I could feel the bass as it vibrated through the floor and smoke swirled around everything creating a haze that hung over the room.
The guy raised an eyebrow in question and I realised that I’d completely spaced out.
I nodded and followed him onto the dance floor.

It was much hotter here and everyone was covered in a thin sheen of sweat.
The guy once again wrapped his arms around my waist, his fingers caressing my hipbones, my back pressed against his chest.
We started to dance, slowly grinding on each other, gyrating in time with the tempo of the song playing.
I reached up with my right arm, my hand curving around the back of his neck as I pulled him closer.
I closed my eyes, completely in the moment, not thinking about anybody or anything other than the guy pressed tightly against me and how it felt to have him all around me.
He ran his lips slowly down the length of my neck, teasing me and causing me to shudder in pleasure.
I slowly turned around, so our chests were pressed firmly together, the material of our clothes creating friction as we continued to dance.
He smiled at me, eyes burning with lust as he leaned in and kissed me.
It felt...nice, but I couldn’t help but have this niggling feeling that what I was doing was wrong but like before I pushed away the feeling, concentrating against the lips pressed against mine.
I pulled the guy closer, running my hands slowly up his chest to his shoulders.
I ran one hand through his hair, tugging gently, as the other felt the muscles of his back move below my fingertips.

After a couple of minutes, he pulled away, taking my hand and gently pulling me through the crowds of people to an unoccupied booth.
I stumbled slightly, but he held me steady.
He sat down, pulling me with him so that I was straddling his legs.
‘I’m Ben’ he whispered in my ear.
I smiled, ‘Shannon’ I replied before his lips crashed into mine.
His tongue slipped into my mouth as his hands ran lightly up and down my sides, from my hips to the bottom curve of my breasts.
I tugged at his hair, silently asking for more.
Once again I was completely caught up in the moment, pleasure working in tandem with the copious amounts of alcohol I’d consumed, clouding any thoughts that this might be a bad idea...for more than one reason.
He drew back for a second before his lips found my neck, sucking slightly.
I gasped, closing my eyes again as I pushed as close to him as I could. I nibbled at his earlobe making him groan.
He kissed me again with more force than before as I rocked my hips slightly.

It didn’t last long though.
I was suddenly ripped away from him.
I stumbled as I landed, gripping a table to get my balance back.
I saw Lee standing tensely in front of me, fists clenched as he faced Ben.
I just frowned; I couldn’t get my brain to understand why he was angry.
Ben stood up and glared at Lee. Lee was taller than him, but nowhere near as wide.
‘What the fuck man?’
Lee just glared, refusing to answer.
‘Did you really have to cockblock me like that? not cool’
‘Leave now and don’t ever touch her or I will hurt you’ he finally ground out, his voice like acid.
Ben smirked, ‘did it look like she was complaining about me touching her? Because it sure felt and sounded like she wasn’t’
His smirk dropped ‘and I’d like to see you try to hurt me’

I stepped forward to intercede as the two guys were sizing each other up, my brain finally realising what was happening.
I was pushed back by Robbie as he and James stepped forward to push Lee and Ben apart.
Em and Nat came up and stood on either side of me as we watched what happened.
Lee lunged for Ben but was pulled back by James.
The bouncer that had been at the door when we arrived made his way towards us from across the room.
Ben, eyes flicking towards the bouncer, backed away a couple of steps.
He brushed past me as he went to leave, making sure our bodies made full contact as he did.
‘Sorry that got cut short babe, hopefully I’ll see you around’
Although I knew I should ignore him, my body couldn’t help but react, remembering his hands lingering at the small of my back as he kissed me.
I didn’t say anything so he just brushed his lips lightly against mine before walking away.
I couldn’t help but think that babe was what Lee called me.
I wrapped my arms around myself and looked at Lee.
The bouncer was whispering urgently in his ear while Robbie and James looked warily on.
Lee nodded and turned, heading for the door, but not before I’d seen his eyes. They were full of pain and anger, anger at me.
I watched his back disappearing into the crowd.
‘Where’s he gone?’
I looked around at everyone
‘I asked him to leave’ the bouncer answered, shrugging
‘Can’t have people fighting, he knows better’
He nodded at us before leaving as well.
I looked at the others again. Robbie and James were looking at me accusingly while Emma and Nat had twin expressions of sympathy on their faces.

Natalie took my hand and led me over to the bar, leaving the others to follow.
I refused another drink when offered.
The ordeal with Lee and Ben had sobered me up quickly and I had no wish to be drunk again tonight.
After a couple of minutes of sitting quietly, lost in my own thoughts, I leaned in and tapped Nat on the shoulder.
She turned her head from where she’d been chatting to Emma.
‘What’s up?’
‘I think I’m going to head home’
‘You sure?’
’ye, I don’t feel too good.’
I smiled weakly at her, I wasn’t lying, I didn’t feel well, though it had nothing to do with drinking too much alcohol, but a certain dark haired, grey-eyed boy who probably wouldn’t ever speak to me again.
‘Ok, I’ll just grab my stuff’
She made a move to get up but I rested my hand on her arm, stopping her before she could stand up.
‘No, its fine, I’ll go by myself, you don’t have to leave’
She looked concerned ‘you sure honey?’
I nodded again.
‘Ok then, I’ll call you tomorrow’
She hugged me. I said a quick goodbye to the others and turned to leave.
I could feel her watching me as I left and I knew she was worried but I didn’t have the energy to try and convince her that I really was fine, especially when I wasn’t.

I felt so bad about what I’d done.
I’d been drunk, as bad an excuse as that was.
What made it worse was that I hadn’t pushed him away when he’d tried to kiss me before we got to the club; it had been the others that had interrupted us.
I remembered him whispering “later” to me.
It must have really hurt him to see me with Ben.
Tears filled my eyes, I was such a bitch.
I knew that we weren’t together and it wasn’t like I’d cheated or anything but I couldn’t get the image of those pain-filled eyes out of my mind as he’d walked away.
I’d make sure he knew how sorry I was and how much I regretted it even if he never spoke to me again.
I wrapped my arms tighter around myself as I walked, it was freezing.
I hadn’t noticed when we were heading to the club because of all the running Natalie and I had done and the ability of alcohol to make you not able to feel the cold.
A chilly wind was blowing my hair into my face. It was a stupid idea to walk home by myself and if I hadn’t been upset I wouldn’t have.
I glanced furtively around me.
It was dark and silent; the only noise was the rustling of leaves, the occasional noise of a small animal nearby and the click clack of my heels against the pavement.
I glanced at my watch; it told me that it was three in the morning.
I hurried, partly because I was turning into a life-sized icicle in my skimpy outfit and partly because it freaked me out, being out this late – or early – by myself. Every horror story I’d ever heard was running through my mind as I quickened my pace.
While it had taken us around twenty five minutes to get to the club, within fifteen minutes, the College gates were in sight.

As I neared the gates, a dark shape separated itself from the wall across the street and started to cross the road toward me.
My heart started to race faster and faster as the shape drew closer.
I was starting to panic, my mind scrabbling to remember every bit of the Self Defence I’d learnt in the Workshop we’d been made to do in school.
I mentally slapped myself – I shouldn’t have left by myself.
Just as I was a couple of steps away from crossing onto the campus, the shape came up behind me and a hand reached out and grabbed my shoulder, whirling me around.
My heart was in my throat as I was confronted with the dark figure.
It took me a few moments to realise that I recognised the person in front of me.
I exhaled slowly, trying to calm my racing heart.

Lee frowned, ‘you ok?’
I had to stop myself from hitting him – hard –
‘Don’t scare me like that!’
I practically shouted, completely forgetting that I was supposed to be grovelling for forgiveness
‘I thought you were some creep following me!’
‘Shit, sorry Shan, I thought you knew it was me’
‘Nope’ I said, popping the “P”.
We stood in silence before his gaze ran over me.
‘You must be freezing’
‘Ye kinda, but its fine, my apartment’s like five minutes away...I’ll live’
He smirked.
‘I’d offer you my jacket, but I don’t have one’ he grinned
‘Its fine’ I laughed.

We began to walk in the direction of my apartment.
‘Look, Lee...about earlier’ he tensed
‘I’m really sorry’
‘It’s fine’
I stopped and turned to look at him; incredulous.
‘What?’ he looked at me like I was stupid
‘I said its fine’ he repeated.
‘Are you sure? You seemed...’
‘Ye I was, but I’m fine now’ he assured me.
We started walking again, nearing my apartment.
‘It was just because you were exceedingly wasted though right?’
I blushed ‘ye exceedingly wasted is right’
He smirked ‘you just don’t know how to hold your drink like moi!’ he said dramatically.
I rolled my eyes, pushing him,
‘Watch it Mister or I might decide to report you for creeping on innocent girls’

We reached my door and I turned to face him.
He was grinning wolfishly at me
‘Who said I wasn’t creeping?’
My mouth opened but nothing came out.
‘Relax babe, I was just leaning against a wall, I didn’t expect any of you to be heading home for a while’
‘Ye well, I didn’t feel like staying’
He took a step toward me and I stepped back away from him.
‘Oh? And why was that?’ he whispered taking another step closer and again I stepped back, this time feeling my back hitting the wall beside the door to the apartment.
‘Because I acted like an idiot and I hurt someone I care about’
He stepped forward again, brushing up against me because I couldn’t step back anymore.
‘Someone you care about?’ his voice was so low and husky I could barely hear it.
I nodded, not trusting my voice and also not wanting to ruin the moment by saying the wrong thing.

‘Good’ he whispered before kissing me.
His arms were on either side of me, caging me in against the wall.
He ran his tongue slowly along the seam of my lips, asking for entrance and I gave it (willingly), parting my lips slightly.
It was different to kissing Ben, but still good, better even.
For the third time that night I got that feeling at the back of my mind that this was wrong somehow but again I pushed it back, though it was harder this time with a fully functioning brain.
I wrapped my arms around his neck; in defiance of my traitorous brain which was screaming at me to stop, pulling him towards me until there was no space between us.
He ran his fingers lightly up the outside of my thighs leaving a trail of Goosebumps in their wake.
I entwined my fingers in his hair.
With a groan, he kissed me harder, lifting me up, while keeping me pressed against the wall.
I wrapped my legs around his waist as one of his arms went under my thighs, supporting me.
He kissed his way down my neck to my collarbone before returning to my lips.

We were startled apart by the sound of a door slamming – hard.
I slowly slipped down until I was standing on the ground again.
We stood looking at each other.
‘You should probably go’
I said reluctantly, wanting his lips on me again.
He looked hurt for a moment before I leaned forward and kissed him softly, merely brushing my lips against his before pulling back; reassuring him.
‘It’s late; I’ll talk to you tomorrow’
He smiled, kissing me again quickly before disappearing into the darkness.
If it wasn’t for the fact that I could still feel his warmth around me, I could have sworn that I’d dreamt the kiss and that I’d never run into him when I was walking home.

I turned to face the door, hesitating, hoping that the door slamming wasn’t what I’d thought it was.
I lingered for as long as possible before I tentatively reached out and grasped the door handle.
It opened easily at my touch confirming my suspicions.
Nick was home.
Though I was still clinging to the faint hope that it hadn’t been him slamming the door that had interrupted Lee and me from our kiss.
I got the weirdest feeling in the pit of my stomach when I thought about Nick witnessing Lee pressing me up against the wall, kissing me, touching me...
I didn’t want to think about it.
Unfortunately though, luck was not on my side.

As I was closing the door behind me as quietly as possible, Nick walked out of the kitchen.
He stopped when he saw me, looking me slowly up and down, lust shining in his eyes.
That look alone caused more of a reaction in my body than Ben’s and Lee’s kisses had caused, combined.
Unfortunately though the feeling his gaze caused didn’t last long.
When he made eye contact again, his eyes were carefully blank of any emotion– cold even.
I could smell the alcohol wafting off him from where I was standing across the room from him.
I smiled weakly at him, but he just looked stonily back at me.

My smile dropped.
‘Did you um, see...?’
He sneered, making me stop mid-sentence.
‘You mean did I see you dressed like a slut and acting like a slut outside the door with some random guy where anyone could see you?’
I winced, but he didn’t seem to notice.
‘Yes Shannon I did see you’ he said it quietly but every word hit me like a brick.
He was being unnecessarily harsh.
Tears pricked my eyes.
‘Don’t cry’ he taunted,
‘If you go out dressed like that and act like that, what do you expect?’
He paused, ‘Slut’ he muttered under his breath.
I snapped.

My tears spilled over and I’m pretty sure I saw red.
‘Stop!’ I screamed at him.
‘For once just fucking stop’
Tears continued to fall from my eyes but they were mostly from the red hot rage that was boiling up inside me.
I clenched my fists by my sides in an attempt to stop them from shaking, feeling my nails cut into the soft flesh of my palms while I saw the colour slowly drain from his face at my outburst.
‘You are a fucking hypocrite you know that?’
Anger that had been building up inside me over the past couple of weeks without me knowing it, spilled over.
‘I’m dressed like a “slut” because its freaking Halloween and if you had a fun freaking bone in your body you’d actually understand what that is and what it’s like to have fun, but you don’t have time to think about things like that do you? You spend all your time drunk, fucking sluts or just plain angry at the world’
I paused to take a breath, revelling in the shocked look on his face,
‘And as for me acting like a slut out there, I didn’t know there was a law against kissing your boyfriend.’
He flinched but I ignored it.

Lee wasn’t technically my boyfriend...yet, but Nick didn’t know that.
‘Besides you can hardly freaking talk, at least I have the decency to stay outside the apartment, how many times have I gotten up in the last couple of weeks to see some skank walking around OUR apartment in one of you shirts, while you’re passed out?’
I didn’t wait for an answer – I didn’t particularly want one –
‘You know I thought we were fine but you still hate me don’t you? I still don’t know what I did but ever since the day we met you’ve had it in for me...am I special? Or do you just hate pretty much everyone in the world equally?’
I glared at him.
‘you‘re not thirteen anymore Nick, you’re almost twenty fucking years old so it’s time you got over this whole teen angst thing you’ve got going on...while the rest of the people in your life will pray to God that it is really just a phase and that you weren’t born such a shitty person’ I said bitterly.

Pain unlike anything I’d ever seen before was etched onto his face, but I wouldn’t let myself feel remorse for what I’d said even though deep down I couldn’t help but feel that I was the shitty person in the room for letting myself say this stuff.
‘I think it’s best for both of us if we stay out of each other’s way from now on’
I said, quieter now, the majority of my anger spent.
I turned and walked into my room without waiting for a reply and without letting myself look at his face again, it would hurt too much.

I was done with putting up with his moods and I was done with him...even as the thought crossed my mind I knew it wasn’t true, it wasn’t that simple, I couldn’t deny my feelings for him...the lustful look he’d given me and my body’s reaction to it being proof enough.
I knew though that no matter what I felt, it was better if I stayed away, he was able to hurt me too easily.
Not even having the energy to mentally rant at him, I quickly changed into pyjamas and collapsed into bed, exhausted.
I closed my eyes, but it didn’t do anything to stop the tears from falling.

I quietly cried myself to sleep.