The Movies Make It Look Easy

Chapter 66

Nick’s P.O.V:

I dragged myself out of bed at half five the next morning. I could have slept for longer, but I had to make sure we weren’t late for our flight, and I wanted Shannon to have breakfast before leaving.
I eased myself away from Shannon with difficulty. I’d unwittingly acted as her pillow and security blanket during the night. Not that I minded in the slightest. In fact, it was undoubtedly the reason why I’d slept so well.
I shivered when the cold air hit me. Why did beds have to be the perfect temperature come morning? It just made it that much harder to get up.
I padded quietly back to my room, pulling on the first change of clothes I found in my wardrobe. I missed my things being in Shannon’s room. I missed sharing her room, her bed. Just another thing I’d taken for granted.

I grabbed the suitcase I’d used at Christmas from under my bed. Jay had never asked for it back. Therefore, it was now mine. I quickly packed for our trip, throwing in anything and everything I could possibly need. It didn’t help that I wasn’t sure how long we’d be gone for.
I mentally reminded myself that I needed to notify the college that we’d be gone. It was more for Shannon’s sake than my own – I didn’t want her getting in trouble for missing too much class.
When I was sure I had everything, I zipped up my suitcase and dropped it by the front door before going to wake Shannon. She needed to pack too. When I was sure she was completely awake, and not just going to fall back into unconsciousness the moment I left the room, I headed for the kitchen to make breakfast.
I decided to actually make an effort, and pulled the ingredients needed to make pancakes out of the fridge. I generally avoided cooking unless it was necessary. I could never seem to work up the energy needed.
It was a treat for me when Shannon cooked, not only because it meant I wouldn’t have to scrounge, but also because she was a damn good cooking. Unfortunately, even before she stopped talking to me, she didn’t often make me food…not wanting me to ‘presume’ or something like that; probably some feminist outlook that went over my head. Whatever.

I was cooking the last one when Shannon emerged from her room. She looked awful. Her skin was paler than usual, her face drawn, and there were dark circles beneath her eyes.
I pulled her into a tight hug. She clung to me and I tipped her face up to mine so I could kiss her lightly. She responded, if briefly, before pulling out of my embrace and walking out of the kitchen to take a seat at the table.
I watched her walk away, sighing as I rubbed a hand over my mouth. I could still feel her lips, a soft imprint against my own. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, and set about serving up breakfast.
Shannon grimaced when I placed the plate in front of her. She pushed it away.
“Pancakes are your favourite” I coaxed.
“I’m not hungry” she said, her voice barely audible. It was slightly hoarse too; the aftereffects of crying.
“You need to eat” I said gently but firmly.
I watched her as I ate my own pancakes. She had a little bit, but she mainly just pushed the food around her plate.

When I was finished, I carried the plates through to the kitchen and began cleaning. We couldn’t leave dirty dishes behind. If there was anything I hated, it was cleaning. I withdrew into my own, random thoughts as I washed up, feeling contemplative.
I heard her soft footsteps, but didn’t look up from the sink, my arms elbow deep in suds. I was surprised to feel her arms creep around my waist as she moulded herself to my back. My body instantly relaxed; a natural reaction it seemed.
“Thank you for breakfast” she whispered.
“Anytime. And I mean that Sweetheart. Anything you ever need…” I trailed off, unable to continue and hating the fact that I knew she’d started to cry again. I dried off my hands and turned, pulling her to me. “I’d do anything for you, Sweetheart. I love you,”
My words just made her cry harder, so I held her close, wishing – not for the first time – that there was something I could do that would make everything better. Real life sucked sometimes.

Eventually, I stepped back, away from her. “Are you ready?” It was after six and we really needed to leave. She nodded, and five minutes later; I was locking the door behind us.
I took her hand in mine; holding it tightly. I’d had the foresight to call a taxi, and it was waiting for us; idling by the kerb. I opted against sitting in the passenger’s seat, preferring to be next to Shannon. The journey was mostly silent.
At one stage, she glanced at me before speaking softly; “what will the others think when they realise we’ve just left?”
I squeezed her hand reassuringly and told her about Nikki’s call the night before and the texts that both Mark and Jay had sent not long before we left. Both sent their condolences and both had offered to come over to comfort Shannon. As with Nikki, I’d refused, somehow knowing that Shannon really wouldn’t appreciate visitors…especially not ones who would pity her.
When I fell silent, she nodded once and shuttered her eyes tightly, resting her head against my shoulder.

When we reached the airport, I took charge, navigating us through check-in and security. It was a struggle for me to remember exactly what we were supposed to do – the trip at Christmas being the first time I’d ever flown. Shannon followed along behind me, her eyes vacant. She didn’t speak unless it was absolutely necessary.
I wasn’t as nervous this time when we boarded the plane, but I still grasped Shannon’s hand when we took our seats – more for her comfort than my own.
We’d gained a few strange looks as we’d walked through the airport; some curious, and some with concern. I kept my face blank, a trick I’d perfected over the years, making sure not to let my irritation show. I didn’t want people to presume that I was the reason for Shannon looking so upset – evidently many did presume anyway, no matter what my facial expression was like. More than a few dirty looks were thrown in my direction.
I let her take the window seat, knowing it was her favourite…even while I threw longing glances at the seat on my other side. The man in it had his legs stretched out across the aisle and I couldn’t help but feel jealous.
Shannon didn’t even glance at the window though and she didn’t make any moves to take out a book to keep her occupied on the flight. I didn’t even know if she’d packed any.
I kept her close, and my eyes slowly drifted shut. I hadn’t gotten up as early as I had that morning in a long time.

I woke up around half an hour later, to find Shannon leaning on me, cheek stained with tears; her eyes shut. I reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear and brush my lips against the crown of her head.
The man beside me - a middle-aged businessman judging by his attire – was watching us with undisguised curiosity, obviously wondering why Shannon was crying. I glared at him until he looked away, embarrassed.
I fell asleep again almost immediately, and didn’t wake again until we were preparing to land.
We made our way into arrivals silently, our surroundings familiar. Both of us fidgeted as we stood at the carousel in silence, waiting in the mill of people for our bags.

Shannon winced when we stepped out into the waiting area, and I knew she was remembering the last time we stood there. This time, Ryan wasn’t here to welcome us. I did notice another familiar face though, over the tops of everybody’s heads. I steered Shannon in that direction.
In a break in the crowd, we caught a clear view of Adrian with his arms around Katie; waiting solemnly, his gaze scanning the packed area. When he saw us, he broke away from his girlfriend so he could scoop his sister into his arms.
They stood there in silence, wrapped in their own private pain. Katie stepped forward to give me a quick hug, her fleeting smile not quite reaching her eyes. I hadn’t thought about how hard this must be for her. She was practically part of the family. She and Adrian had been together for years. She’d known Ryan for a long time.

When they pulled apart, Adrian shook my hand, a sad smile on his face. I returned it with an equal lack of enthusiasm, not knowing what to say. I decided on the obvious. “I’m really sorry.” I glanced at Katie as I spoke, making sure she knew I was speaking to both of them.
Adrian nodded tightly, looking at his sister with concern. Shannon nestled against my side, and I was glad to wrap my arm around her. That same, sad little smile played across his lips, but it soon disappeared to be replaced by grim determination. He couldn’t hide the pain that seemed to be etched onto face, no matter what mask he tried to pull on.
We painted a sombre picture as we left the airport and headed for Adrian’s car. Once again, Shannon and I slipped into the backseat. Conversation was almost non-existent. Adrian and Katie asked some half-hearted questions about college, but Shannon answered either with monosyllabic answers, or not at all. Her gaze was fixed on the countryside rolling past us as we drew closer to her house.

She murmured something too quiet for me to hear.
“Sorry?”
She looked at me sadly. “I said that I got my wish.” She spoke too quietly for Adrian and Katie to hear over the radio. The presenter was overly chirpy as she talked about inconsequential news items.
I frowned; “wish?”
She sighed, turning back to stare out the window. I leaned closer. It was a minute before she spoke. “I wanted to come home to visit. I was planning to make the trip soon.”
I recoiled slightly; when had she decided that?
She obviously noticed my reaction. “After everything that happened between us…I just needed to get away. It was hard being around you after…well, you know. I also wanted to see my family. I thought it would be best for me to come home for a while. Nikki agreed – she was only one I told about my plans. I got my wish” she said softly.
“I got to come home, but under the worst possible circumstances. And instead of getting away from you…here you are.”
I pulled back even further, not sure what to make of everything. I understood her reasons for wanting to come home, but I knew I would have hated if she’d gone. I didn’t like not seeing her every day. I was used to her presence around me, and those three days she’d spent at Nikki’s had been horrible.
I also felt slightly hurt at her words; and instead of getting away from you…here you are.
Obviously realising what I was thinking, Shannon reached over and took my hand, her fingers cool and slender in mine. “I wouldn’t have it any other way” she whispered before turning back to the window.
It was the most I’d heard her speak since yesterday, but she quickly lapsed back into whatever inner sanctuary she’d created inside her. I stared straight ahead, my emotions in turmoil.
I wish love was easy, I thought. I’d never been so confused in my life, and yet, at the same time; I’d never been so sure of anything before, either.

Nobody spoke for the rest of the journey. Adrian pulled up in front of the beautiful old farmhouse, and I suddenly felt the happiest I had in a while. If I had to guess why, I would say that it was because this wasn’t just a house. It was a home. It was one of the few places I’d always been welcome, and besides Ryan’s death, all my memories of this place were extremely happy.
Images of the first time I’d kissed Shannon, under the stars, came to mind.
We stepped out of the car and Shannon stared up at her childhood home. She took an audibly deep breath before heading for the front door. It was wrenched open before we made it more than a few steps. Shannon’s parents stood framed in the doorway, a mixture of unutterable sadness, and happiness at the sight of their daughter on their faces.
Both seemed to have aged years since I’d last seen them. Neither had looked particularly young before, but they’d at least looked their age. Not anymore. New lines had appeared on their faces, but it was more than that. Their whole demeanour had changed. They stood slumped slightly, leaning on each other for support, making them appear smaller than they were, as if they’d shrunk.
There was a certain air of despair permeating them. I’d seen something similar once before. My father had looked the same – he still did to an extent – when my mother slipped into a coma.
I could tell Shannon noticed the changes as well by the way she tensed slightly beside me.

Her father reached us in a matter of seconds. He quickly shook my hand gravely before embracing his daughter. I’d always known she was a bit of a daddy’s girl. I turned to her mother, who had followed her husband over to us.
I couldn’t help but feel surprised when she pulled me into a tight hug as if she was just as happy to see me as Shannon. I hugged her back, enjoying the feel of the motherly gesture.
“Thank you for coming” she murmured before pulling away without waiting for a reply.
She immediately turned to Shannon, her husband drawing her into their embrace. The sight made my heart ache. I felt a hand clasp my shoulder and I looked over at Adrian, but he too was watching his family, his free arm around Katie’s shoulders.

I wasn’t sure how long we stood there for. It was a moment out of time, and in that instant, we weren’t separate people, but a family, brought together not just by bonds of blood and love, but by pain and happiness alike.
Finally though, time caught up with us, and it was time to go inside. Shannon and I were last, and just before we reached the door, I pulled her back and into a deep kiss.
It was worth more than a thousand words and when she kissed me back, our first proper kiss in weeks, I knew she was feeling everything I was at that moment. It meant so much.
We broke apart and I smiled slightly, reaching up to brush the tears from her cheeks. Neither of us cared that her mother had stopped to wait for us, and watched us with a complete lack of surprise; as if, to her, we were inevitable. Through the turmoil, I felt hope blossom.