The Movies Make It Look Easy

Chapter 73

Shannon’s P.O.V:

I might as well have not gone to class. My mind couldn’t have been further from my studies. It was firmly locked on my upcoming date with Nick. My date with Nick. Just thinking about it sent a shiver of anticipation and nerves rocketing down my spine. Yes, I was actually nervous - extremely so, if I was honest with myself. Part of me found the idea faintly ridiculous, I mean, we’d known each other for so long now and had been teetering on the edge of a relationship for most of that time. So why was I nervous? A large part of it was probably the sheer normality of it all. As Nick had said the night before, we hadn’t exactly gone about things in the usual way. The fact that we were going on a date, made it seem like finally things were changing. I could hopefully move on with my life, and put the past behind me. Wishful thinking, maybe – but I was trying to be positive about the cards I’d been dealt.

The other source of my nerves was, without a doubt, Nick himself. The very thought of him left me giddy, and we were stepping into unknown territory by going out like a normal couple. My nerves and anticipation had been ratcheting up all day, and so were at an all-time high when I made it home. The subject of my thoughts was at the gym with Jay and Mark, and I was glad of some time alone. Also, Mark had been texting me all day, being his generally irritating but adorable self. I was pretty sure he couldn’t text while lifting weights, so it gave me a reprieve. With my mind as crowded as it was, I found it difficult to hold a conversation for more than a short time. That conversation being with Mark made things that bit more difficult.
I had been present enough in my last class to know that I’d not only been given four awful looking graphic design briefs, but a four thousand word essay. I had intended to make a start after when I got home – I had hours to spare, after all – but for the life of me, I couldn’t make myself sit at my desk, so instead I channelled all my energy into cleaning, my mind turning all the while.

After a while though, I stopped glancing at the clock every five seconds, and my mind began to drift. Ryan was never far from my thoughts, so it wasn’t long before I started thinking about him, remembering him. I wanted so much for the pain to go away, but at the same time, I was terrified that I’d forget him; that my memories would slowly become more and more blurred until I was no longer able to conjure up an image of him in my mind. That thought was enough to make me stop what I was doing, close my eyes, and just focus on my breathing.
When I could no longer feel the sting of tears in my eyes, I continued cleaning the kitchen. I knew I should call my family – I wanted to, but I just wasn’t ready. Not quite. Truthfully, I didn’t even know what was stopping me, and I hated myself for it because I knew I was once again hurting the people I loved, but every time I picked up the phone, I just couldn’t do it.
I sighed and flicked my hair over my shoulder, checking the time again. It was safe to say that more than five seconds had passed, but I still had hours to go before we had to leave. So I did what any sane person would do and went to sleep…vaguely surprised that my brain shut up long enough for me to drift off into a thankfully dreamless slumber.

A few hours later, I experienced one of those perfect (but rare) moments, when you wake up mere seconds before your alarm starts to ring. I also woke with a smile on my face. I took that to be a good sign.
First thing; I needed a shower. Then I’d worry about what to wear. Oh hell, what was I supposed to wear? My nerves came back in a rush. I was acting so unlike myself. I mean, I never worried about my appearance. I forcibly pushed my worries from my mind; deciding to focus on one thing at a time. I might just go crazy otherwise.

I heard the front door slam at around seven.
“I’m home. Sorry I’m late, I’ll be ready in ten” Nick called.
I just shook my head as I put the finishing touches to my makeup, not bothering to answer. I knew he was probably already in getting in the shower. I’d never been one of those girls who took half the day to get ready, but still, even I thought ten minutes was pushing it just a bit. I didn’t think I’d ever understand men, but that was okay. I wasn’t the only one – far from it, actually.
After showering, I’d had a quick conference call with Nikki and Alyssa. Alyssa had been all for me wearing pink, but Nikki and I had resolutely shot her down. I’d eventually decided on a loose green chiffon shirt over lace leggings, with a pair of plain black ankle boots. Nikki had wished me luck and hung up, leaving me to choose my own accessories. I didn’t want to get too dressed up, but I didn’t want to seem too casual either – he might think I didn’t care. And oh God, I was definitely overthinking things. Fuck.

I left my room just as Nick left his, head down as he finished buttoning his steel grey shirt. Um, wow. My mind may have just turned to mush, and I was definitely staring. No question about it. Of course, it probably helped that Nick did the exact same thing when he looked up. It let us both keep our dignity; we were as love-struck as the other.
I shook my head with a small smile and gestured toward the door in silent question. He nodded. No words were needed.
As he locked up the apartment, I stared distractedly at Nick’s back. Would it sound pathetic if I admitted I missed him? I mean, I’d seen him mere hours ago, and yet it felt like much longer. Love was a crazy thing that made people do crazy things. I took Nick’s proffered hand with a smile, deciding not to vocalise my inner ramblings. He’d just give me that look; you know the one.

We got a taxi to the restaurant. Man, this day just kept getting better and better. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach; the way to a lazy person’s heart is through lack of exercise. If I hadn’t already been in love, that would have sealed the deal. I sighed to myself, exasperated by my own strangeness.
Nick held the glass door to a restaurant called The 40 Foot open for me and I stopped to kiss him gently as I passed by.
“Thank you” I murmured.
He just grinned, a sparkle that I absolutely adored in his eyes. He waved me through the door ahead of him, guiding me lightly with a hand on the small of my back.
I didn’t really pay attention as we were taken to our seats because I was too busy looking around me with interest. The main room was large and dimly lit – the tables spaced far enough apart to give the patrons some measure of privacy. I noted this with approval. I couldn’t stand being so close to the next table that you may as well have been sitting together. Not to mention the awkward overlapping of conversation. The décor was all in red and black and the atmosphere was quiet and slightly romantic. I smiled at Nick’s back, probably looking like a complete idiot. I couldn’t make myself care.

When were seated by an extremely polite waitress dressed all in black – how nice to be the one being served for once – I immediately grabbed the menu. Ignoring Nick’s amused look, I eagerly scanned the lists of food on offer (he’d told me next to nothing about where we were going). I tapped a freshly painted nail against my chin.
“So my options seem to be protein, protein, or more protein.” I glanced up and raised an eyebrow at Nick’s distinctly satisfied expression.
“I thought girls were meant to order a salad or something on a first date?” I mused aloud.
He snorted, yes, actually snorted – at my expense, too.
“Please, like you’d order a salad.”
I fought a grin. “Be still my heart.”
I was rewarded with a blush. Not just a slight tinging of the cheeks, but a full-blown blush. He also sort of resembled a fish; mouth gaping as he struggled to form a coherent sentence. “I wasn’t, I mean, I didn’t…”
I couldn’t hold back my laughter any longer, reaching over to grasp his hand in mine.
“You’re right. I wouldn’t order a salad. I think it’s a waste of money…you know me so well.” I grinned, lowering my voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “If we weren’t in a crowded room, I’d probably kiss you.”
All hints of embarrassment swiftly vanished and he leant forward, eyes darkening, the dim lighting doing wonders for the planes of his face. Not that he needed any help, I thought slightly enviously.
“Who cares if we have an audience.”
His soft voice reached me as I stared at him, and I spoke without thinking. “No. We can save that for later.”
I quickly snatched my hand back as our roles were reversed; me resembling a ripe tomato, him laughing at my misery. I quelled the urge to kick him in the shin and ducked my head behind my menu. Me and my big mouth.

Our ‘banter’ was interrupted by the same waitress who had shown us to our seats coming over to take our drink orders. I stuck with water, and surprisingly, so did Nick. He met my enquiring gaze with a roll of his eyes.
“Working in a bar has put me off alcohol. Besides, I don’t want to ruin tonight by getting drunk.”
I had to stop myself from putting my hand over my heart and saying aww. What a sweetie.
Nick of course ordered the biggest steak on the menu. He glanced over at me. “What, I’m a growing boy” he muttered.
“Didn’t say a word” I smiled sweetly and turned back to the waitress.
She winked at me in amusement and I couldn’t help but think that it would do Jenny a world of good to work with someone like her (I hadn’t managed to read her nametag) – she might actually learn how to treat customers, and people in general, properly. I wouldn’t hold my breath though.

After that, everything but Nick (and the food) pretty much ceased to exist. We were in our own little world. It was the best date I’d ever been on. The fact that we already knew each other so well definitely took the pressure off. Any hint of nerves I’d felt earlier in the day quickly disappeared. Nick was so relaxed, and so affectionate, that I couldn’t help but have a good time. I hardly stopped smiling.

When I finished eating, I slumped back in my chair and closed my eyes, feeling suddenly drowsy. I felt Nick’s eyes on me and I wondered what he was thinking about - his stomach, probably. He’d eaten an obscene amount, and most likely had plenty of room for dessert. Even the thought of dessert made me feel vaguely ill; an unusual occurrence for me. What I really needed was some fresh air.
Either I’d been wrong about the direction of Nick’s thoughts, or he somehow sensed mine, because he soon called our waitress over to ask for the bill. I ran a hand through my hair, my fingers snagging on some knots that had developed during dinner. Sitting for a couple of hours eating was obviously a strenuous task that my hair couldn’t handle. I sat forward with a scowl. Stupid hair.
I shook my head at Nick’s glance. It was only then that I realised he was in the middle of paying. Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrows in question. I wasn’t sure if I was entirely comfortable with him paying for our meal. I felt bad every time he’d insisted on paying for anything in the past. I hadn’t been raised to rely on others. Nick, judging by the firm look he sent my way, obviously hadn’t been raised to go Dutch.
I wasn’t about to cause a scene, but I made a mental note to buy him something nice when I next went shopping. When faced with his favourite foods, or a new video game for him and the guys to drool over, I was pretty sure he wouldn’t give me that disapproving look that he’d accomplished oh so well.

“What are you smiling about?” Nick murmured as I gathered my things.
I shrugged as I stood up. “Just thinking about you.”
His smile was blinding. I swear, his smile alone would save Hollister a lot of problems.
“Don’t let me interrupt, then” he said happily, pressing a kiss to my temple.
The waitress – Kara – sent us a friendly wave on the way out that I returned wholeheartedly.
I shrugged into my jacket as we stepped into the cool night air.
“Taxi?” Nick asked redundantly as he stepped forward to signal the one closest to us.
“You really do love me” I sighed happily.
A grin was his only response.

We were driven home in near silence, Nick beside me, his fingers stroking my knee. It wasn’t very relaxing. Extremely distracting, actually. I rested my head against his shoulder and just let his warmth seep into me, pleasant tingles radiating outward from his touch. Part of me wanted to break the blanket of silence, the rising tension that I felt as each moment passed, but the rest of me was scared I’d shatter that same nascent feeling. Choosing to ignore the feeling, I closed my eyes and focused on the faint sound of Peter Gabriel’s voice issuing from the front of the car. The driver was obviously a fan. For some reason I found that thought amusing.

When we finally pulled up outside our building, I let Nick pull me out of the car and into his arms. He placed one finger beneath my chin, tilting my head for his kiss. The weather had been improving lately, but it was still far from warm. Even so, I barely registered the cool breeze or the occasional rain drop that fell from ominous looking clouds, as his lips covered mine. All I could comprehend was him. He surrounded me. It was the sort of blessed envelopment that I’d found nowhere else, that sent me straight into his arms whenever things got tough. It was warmth, it was safety, and it was love.
Without realising, I’d wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, bringing us as close together as I could manage. He didn’t seem to be objecting. I smiled at the thought, pulling back slightly.
“Thank you for dinner” I murmured.
He only clutched me tighter with a deep chuckle. “My pleasure, Sweetheart.”

My heart stuttered and I slipped my fingers below the collar of his jacket to trace a light path down the back of his neck. I felt him shiver, whether just from my touch, or the coldness of my skin, I wasn’t sure. He kissed me once more, hard, hands grasping my hips, before stepping away completely.
“Let’s go inside.”
His voice sounded ragged and I followed him silently to our apartment, trying to get my breathing under control. I shrugged off my jacket and shoes, leaving them in a pile by the couch while Nick just stood inside the door, hands by his sides, his face pensive.
I noticed his slightly reticent pose, but ignored it, walking back over to him with a quick grin. I reached up to unbutton his jacket, waiting for him to say something. He let me tug it from his shoulders, his heavy gaze never leaving me. I threw the warm black jacket on top of mine and once again wrapped my arms around him.
“I love you, you know?” He finally said.
I knew, but the sentiment never failed to make my heart beat thunderously in my chest and my whole body shudder with want. “I love you, too.”

He crushed me against him in an instant, his desperation and need evident in his every touch. I went willingly, feeling the same overwhelming desire to just be close to him.
I knew what I wanted, and I damn sure knew what he wanted, but I also knew without a doubt that at the slightest sign of hesitation from me, he’d back off. Sometimes I thought he was under the impression that I was made of glass, or something. So I knew it was up to me to show him that I wasn’t as fragile as he thought. I had to make the first move.
Was I nervous? Hell, yes. But this was Nick. I knew him, I loved him, and above all, I trusted him.
I drew back just enough to look at him. There was a silent question in his eyes, even as they darkened knowingly. All I did was smile as I grabbed his hands and turned towards my room.

He still seemed hesitant as he shut the door behind us, and once again I wondered what he was thinking. I stood still as he reached up, his fingers lightly caressing my cheek, my jaw; his thumb just barely grazing my bottom lip. Unable to stand still any longer, my hands moving of their own accord, I pulled him to me. As his warm lips fused with mine, I felt him begin to take control – the last of his reservations fading away.
Even as we inched closer to the bed, he spoke, his voice no more than a whisper. “If you don’t want this, you have two seconds to tell me.”
I didn’t even have to think; I wasn’t sure I could think.
“I want this” I told him honestly, barely able to get the words out before he was lifting me, carrying me to the bed.
My fingers found the buttons of his shirt as he laid me down, his hands everywhere as if he wanted to commit every moment to memory. His lips found my throat with a groan and the last iota of rational thought disappeared, my movements becoming instinctual and fevered.

He made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat when my attempt to remove his shirt required him to pull away from me. I fought a smile as it was flung unceremoniously across the room. In an instant, he was hovering over me once again, head bent to kiss his way down my neck and over my collarbone. I moaned quietly at the feel of his tongue lightly flicking over my skin, my hands free to roam.
Again, he made that same frustrated noise when he flicked open the buttons of my shirt only to find the tank I was wearing underneath.
I sat up, allowing him to slowly peel each layer off, his fingers deftly unhooking my bra. Each item was quickly discarded and I lay back down, pulling him with me. I wrapped my arms around him, lips seeking his in a breath-stealing kiss as he ran his hands lightly over my bared stomach, my ribs, my breasts. A moan rose in my throat as his every touch left behind a trail of fire.

I reached for his belt, but he pulled away with a slight grin, one finger tracing the curve of my hip and down to my lace-clad legs. With agonisingly slow movements, he pulled the leggings off, placing a line of kisses along the exposed skin. My underwear was next, and then, he just stopped, his gaze searching as he knelt there and just looked at me. I didn’t know what he was looking for and I had no idea if he found it or not.
“Please” I breathed out, not being able to wait any longer. I needed something, anything.
I saw the change come over him. It started with his eyes; they suddenly grew darker and more intense, before it spread throughout him, a sudden tension that wasn’t there before. His lips found mine in a kiss that was hard and passionate, his movements quick. There was no time for a slow, sweet seduction. There was only desperation, desire, and lust.

“Do you know how much I want you?”
I felt the words vibrate against my skin as he trailed kisses down my neck and chest, tongue flicking out, teeth scraping lightly against the sensitive flesh.
I chuckled, the sound a ragged exhalation, my pulse racing as I focused on undoing his belt.
“I can guess” I managed as I finally got it undone in one swift movement, my hand slipping beneath the edge of his boxers.
He pressed down against me, muttering unintelligible words to himself - or maybe to me, I didn’t know and I didn’t particularly care.
I pouted when he wrenched himself away from me to shuck the rest of his clothes, cursing when he got tangled in the material in his haste.

He said something to me, but the words didn’t register; my eyes too busy taking in the sight of him. He was gorgeous; and he was all mine. I finally looked up met his gaze - his eyes sparkling with amusement. I reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him back down with an unabashed smile.
His hands and lips suddenly seemed to be everywhere, touching and caressing, but it wasn’t enough.
I hooked a leg around his waist, pulling him closer as I wrapped my arms around his neck, tangling my fingers in his hair. He started to speak again but I cut him off with a deep kiss. His hands flexed against my thighs as he pulled away with a pained sigh.
“Shannon, I don’t have-"
I cut him off again with another kiss, my breathing uneven.
“Top drawer” I eventually got out, my hand reaching down to wrap around his hard length.
He cursed again as he jerked the drawer almost completely out of the bedside table and then fumbled with the foil packet he found.
“Now” I whispered, his mouth moving to cover mine with an inordinate groan.

I cried out as he entered me, arching my hips towards him. He quietly murmured my name over and over like prayer.
All I could comprehend was him. He filled my senses and was the only thing on my mind; like a single, bright flame in the darkness.
I lost track of time, the moment seeming to last forever as the pleasure mounted, until finally, together, we fell over the edge into oblivion.

Nick collapsed against me, and I felt our hearts beating in time. He smiled down at me, such love in his green and gold flecked eyes that my breath caught in my throat.
“Thank you” he whispered.
I frowned. He reached out with one finger to stroke my cheek.
“This is the first time…” He faltered for a moment as if unable to express what he was thinking.
Finally, he spoke into the silence. “This is the first time being with someone has actually meant something.”
I pulled him close for a kiss and he cupped my face gently as his body slid over mine. No more words were spoken. They were completely unnecessary.

Much later on, Nick rolled onto his side and tucked me into his arms. I smiled sleepily, reaching down to link our fingers, snuggling up against him.
That was how I drifted off to sleep; Nick sifting his fingers through my hair as I sighed with quiet pleasure. The last thing I heard before I slipped into darkness was his whispered words of love, and for the first time in a long while, I felt utterly at peace.