The Movies Make It Look Easy

Chapter 76

Shannon’s P.O.V:

It’s funny how the mind works. I distinctly remembered telling myself that I was going to work harder and put more effort into my college work for the remainder of the year. I even meant it, too.
Sadly, it took less than twenty-four hours for me to break that promise to myself. And I wasn’t ashamed to blame it all on Nick. Okay, maybe that wasn’t fair. It was entirely my own fault.
The very next morning after I’d had my little revelation that, no I didn’t have a hope in hell of passing my exams, I skipped my classes in favour of spending time with my boyfriend.
My only excuse was that I’d missed him.
When I finally made it home from Nikki’s, so full of junk food I could barely walk, Nick had already left for work and I’d immediately felt the few co-dependent tendencies I was ashamed to admit I had flaring up. So I’d ended up spending Paddy’s day doing pretty much nothing and avoiding all things green.
Not that Nick had complained. He was as bad as I was, though that wasn’t much of a comfort if I was honest with myself.

Even though I’d basically just sat around all day and did a minimal amount of exercise, it still left me feeling tired, and just generally lethargic. So when my alarm rang this morning, I rolled out of bed, determined not to make my laziness into more of a bad habit than it already was.
“Why are you up so early” Nick groaned from within the depths of the cocoon he’d made out of the duvet.
“Because I have to go to class. And no, you won’t change my mind, so don’t even bother trying.”
He grunted before falling silent, which I immediately took to be acquiescence. I headed for the shower, thinking about the only bright spot of my day to come.
Adrian and Katie were coming to visit. They wouldn’t arrive until later so unfortunately I couldn’t really use it as an excuse for being distracted. I was still excited, though. I couldn’t wait to see them.

When I was showered and dressed, I stepped lightly over to the bed, sitting on the edge of the mattress beside Nick’s curled form.
Sleepy brown eyes looked up at me, a small smile playing across his lips.
“Are you sure I can’t tempt you to come back to bed?”
I grinned.
“You’re such a bad influence on me.”
He wrapped me up in his arms, pulling me down until I was cradled against his warm body. I let him, knowing that I was in no rush to get to class. I didn’t technically have to leave for another fifteen minutes, and I’d happily make the most of each and every one of them.
“I know I am” he agreed.
I pillowed my head in the hollow of his neck, noting with amusement that nothing in his tone indicated that he particularly cared that he was a bad influence. I pressed a kiss to his throat, slipping a hand around his waist, my eyes falling shut.
“I wish I could just stay here” I murmured.
“But you won’t” he pointed out.
“No” I agreed, luxuriating in the feel of his hand slowly gliding up and down my back.
“What time will you be home?” He asked huskily and I couldn’t help but grin.
“Probably not until after lunch; just in time for Adrian and Katie to arrive.”
He was quiet for a moment.
“How about you come home a bit earlier and we can have some time to ourselves before your brother gets here?”
I laughed.
“We had plenty of time to ourselves yesterday.”
“Not enough,” he argued; “never enough.”
I smirked against his skin.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“Good” he said with pure satisfaction.

We lay like that for another few minutes until I had to admit to myself that I needed to leave. I could tell Nick was reluctant to let me go.
“Will you make sure that your room is tidy?” I asked as I sat up.
I hadn’t been into Nick’s old room in ages and I had no idea what sort of state it was in. It couldn’t be too bad, though, considering all of his stuff had been officially moved into my room. It didn’t hurt to check, though.
He nodded.
“I’ll tidy the place up a bit…wouldn’t want them getting a bad impression.”
I bent down to kiss him.
“Thank you.”
He caught my hand as I straightened up again.
“I love you.”
I smiled, those words never failing to affect me.
“I love you, too. I really have to leave, though.”
He let me go without another word, his eyes already falling shut again.

When I stepped outside, I was happy to note that the good weather was holding. Maybe the day wouldn’t be so bad after all. Nick had already done a good job of improving my typical morning-induced bad mood. The heat just made things even better.
I was five minutes early for class, leaving me time to get a good seat and set up my things. I was all set to be studious and to pay attention, but I was still glad that I only had practical work to do. I could easily lose myself in a project, finding it much easier to concentrate than in my theory classes. I even turned off my phone, which was probably more than a little helpful.
I loved that almost trancelike state I entered when I was completely absorbed in some artistic task or other. I suppose it was a form of escapism; a way to let go of my reality and let my mind wander. I channelled that freedom into my art, and was always pleasantly surprised with the finished piece.
My best work always came when I didn’t have an end goal in sight, when every last detail wasn’t planned out. It was perhaps the only aspect of my life that benefited from my indecisive nature.
I only stopped when my teacher came around to look through my portfolio. He gave me a disapproving look when he saw how little development I had showcased in my notebooks. I rarely remembered to document all the changes and twists that led to a finished piece. Even so, he gave me some great ideas and when class ended, I took my time gathering my things; feeling like I’d actually been productive for the first time in months. Being lazy is great, but you just can’t beat the satisfaction you feel when you know you’ve accomplished something; however small.

The smile on my face was also down to the fact that I was finished for the day. Sweet freedom. I stepped out into the glaring sunlight and my smile grew even wider. If I could whistle, I would have.
I unconsciously wove my way around the many people wandering to and from classes, their collective pace a lot slower than usual, the loud sounds of chatter and laughter filling the air.
I turned on my phone and checked the time. It was after twelve.
I’d been sitting in the same room for hours but it didn’t feel like it at all, though the pain tugging at the muscles in my neck would vehemently disagree.
Rubbing at my neck with one hand, I texted Nick with the other to let him know I was on my way home. First though, I was going to treat myself to a Starbucks…and maybe some chocolate too.
Trying to find a Starbucks in the city is like trying to point out the ocean on a map. In other words, it was very, very easy.

I plugged my iPod in and set off on what turned out to be a very short stroll to the nearest Starbucks. I waited patiently in line, pulling funny faces, much to the amusement of the two year old in the arms of the young woman in front of me.
When it was my turn, I ordered a double chocolaty chip Frappuccino. Excuse me while I go drool.
After that I waited a lot less patiently, fingers tapping a steady beat on the scratched wooden table to one side of the counter.
When the tall plastic cup was placed in front of me, I think the nice worker was a little freaked out by the sheer size of the smile of sent him. I probably looked more than a little creepy and I made a mental note to avoid that particular Starbucks for the foreseeable future as I pushed my way through the mill of people still waiting in line.

I’d barely made it halfway through the shop when I heard the sound of my name being called. I froze, staring down at my arm, wondering if I should pinch myself.
Perhaps this was just a dream?
More like a nightmare, I thought as that same person called my name once more. Not bothering to paste even the fakest of smiles onto my face, I turned around, my gaze being drawn to a small table in the corner.
Great, just great; not one, but two of my own personal nightmares sat at the one table.
Knowing it was probably a mistake, and sighing at my own stupidity, I changed course and walked over, stopping just in front of them. Two sets of eyes stared up at me; one grey, one brown; one surprisingly warm, the other colder than ice.

“Shannon!”
Lee’s tone matched his eyes; warm and inviting, like he was happy to see me.
“That’s me” I said cautiously, my mind frantically trying to find the catch to the situation.
Part of me was waiting for people with cameras to jump out at me and start laughing.
“Hey!” He grinned; “it’s so good to see you.”
I nodded once.
“Uh-huh.”
My eyes drifted over to Natalie and I fought a flinch at the anger and hatred in her gaze. She clearly wasn’t as happy to see me as Lee was.
“How have you been?” Lee asked, as if he was oblivious to the tension surrounding the three of us like a thick, choking blanket.
“Oh, you know, the usual” I said airily.
I wasn’t about to divulge any information about my personal life; either good or bad.
Natalie made her first contribution – besides chilling looks – to the conversation just then by snorting with derision. Both mine and Lee’s eyes swung to her. Her finger slowly traced the rim of her cup, her eyes never leaving mine and I fought to hold back the laughter bubbling up inside me.
She was obviously aiming to appear threatening, and I’m sure it would have worked, if not for the fact that her cup was half full of hot chocolate – complete with whipped cream and mini marshmallows. It was like trying to be scared of a lion playing with a ball of yarn.

When I was sure that I wasn’t just going to laugh in her face, I raised one eyebrow at her, knowing that my lack of reaction would piss her off.
“Yes?” I asked, and her eyes flared with suppressed rage, making me want to laugh even more.
I realised right then and there that I wasn’t scared of her. She could do nothing to hurt me. I didn’t care what she said or thought about me, and I knew if she tried to go after my friends or boyfriend that she’d be swiftly taken down a peg or two without me having to go anywhere near her. I wasn’t the only one she’d pissed off in the months since college started.
For the first time ever, I could see her clearly for what she was; a pathetic, insecure little girl. That knowledge was enough to brighten my day tenfold, and I could no longer keep the smile off my face.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Lee grinning at me and I had to wonder what could be going through his mind at that moment. Natalie on the other hand looked like she wanted to throttle me. And then she smiled, and I could honestly say it was the least sincere thing I’d seen in my entire life.
“How’s Nick?”
The question was perfectly innocent, except for the venom in her tone.
Once more, I saw Lee’s gaze move to her and I was surprised to see him frowning.
I smiled again.
“He’s doing just fine, thanks for asking.”
As far as I was concerned, Natalie was just cementing every opinion I had of her. She was her own worst enemy.
“Nat, stop.”
Lee’s warning was clear, but Natalie ignored him.
“I’ve been meaning to catch up with him, you know, ever since that night. I’d been having such an awful day but he managed to turn that around.”
Her giggle grated on my nerves and the wink she sent my way made me feel ill.
“But I’m sure you know all about how happy he can make a girl, right?”
I felt a muscle in my jaw tick but otherwise I gave no sign that her words were affecting me. In part that was because I was so busy subtly watching Lee’s reactions. He looked truly angry; his brow furrowed as he leaned forward, hand gripping the table. He looked as angry as he had the day I’d kicked him out of the apartment; as angry as the day I’d slapped him. Only this time, all that anger was directed at his best friend, not me. It was fascinating.

Turning my full attention back on Natalie, I slowly – and loudly – raised my cup to my mouth, sucking a great mouthful of creamy, chocolaty goodness through the straw. When I was finished, I smiled at her again.
“Are you sure about that?”
I didn’t give her a chance to answer.
“Because I ran into Emma and Robbie recently and they had some interesting views on what they thought really happened that night.”
Okay, so I hadn’t actually spoken to Robbie, and Emma had merely been guessing, but I was in a gambling mood. And it paid off…sort of.
Natalie’s hand clenched and her whole face contorted with rage, some emotion I couldn’t quite catch flashing through her eyes.
Was it guilt? Fear?
I wasn’t sure, but to my eyes it was pretty incriminating. Lee obviously thought so, too.
“What the hell’s she talking about, Nat? You told me you slept with him.”
Natalie didn’t even spare her best friend a glance, just continued to glare at me.
“Of course I did. She’s just jealous that I got to her boyfriend before she did.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Boyfriend? Why Natalie, have you been keeping tabs on me?”
I widened my eyes with fake innocence.
“I didn’t know you cared.”
For a second I actually thought she was going to launch herself at me, Mean Girls style. She settled instead on a withering stare, like I wasn’t worth her time.
Whatever; she was as transparent as a pane of glass, and anybody could see how angry she was. The satisfaction that brought me was immense.
“Anyway, as lovely as this has been” I said sarcastically, “I have places to be.”

Without another word, I turned to leave. Lee’s hand brought me to a stop before I’d gone two steps. I looked over my shoulder at him in surprise.
He smiled at me almost shyly, straightening up from where he’d half risen from his seat to stop me.
“I’ll walk you out.”
I nodded, not caring if he accompanied me as long as I could get away from Natalie. He kept a hold of my arm as he pushed his way through the growing crowd, lunch hour having hit while I’d been pre-occupied with two of my least favourite people.
I followed along silently, pulling away from his grasp as soon as we stepped outside into the sunlight. I longed to turn my back and walk away, but the way he ran his hand nervously through his hair told me he had something to say, and damn it if I wasn’t curious.

While I waited, I just looked at him. He was taller than me, but not as tall as Nick, and he seemed to have filled out a bit more since I last saw him. His dark hair had grown out in a way that suited him and his eyes were once again the warm grey they’d been when we first met.
He looked good - and not crazy for once. I hoped it stuck – he’d actually been a nice guy when we first met.
He sighed and finally looked at me, hands dropping to his sides.
“I have so much to say, I don’t even know where to start” he said sheepishly.
I stayed quiet, not wanting to interrupt him. He stepped closer to avoid banging into a group of men and women in suits and I saw the sadness in his eyes when I instinctively stepped back.
I didn’t care. He’d given me every reason in the past to be cautious of him, and one semi-friendly conversation wasn’t about to change that.
“Firstly, I heard about your brother, and I just wanted to say how sorry I am. I know you’re probably sick of hearing it, but I am. Nobody deserves to go through something like that.”
I smiled sadly, trying to pretend his words didn’t hit me with crushing force. After Emma had brought it up, I shouldn’t be surprised that Lee had heard about it. News around campus seemed to travel like wildfire.
“Thanks” I said quietly and left it at that.
I knew he meant well but I had no intention of discussing Ryan with Lee.
He nodded in understanding and I actually did believe that he understood. Not the loss, but the fact that I didn’t want to talk to him about it.

The sun beat down on us, waves of heat rising from the pavement as silence fell between us once more. I belatedly remembered my Frappuccino and spared a sad glance at my cup. The cream was losing its whipped consistency and the ice was rapidly melting.
“I’d like to apologise for Natalie’s behaviour” Lee said in a garbled rush.
“I know it doesn’t mean much coming from me but she’s stubborn, and I know she’ll never say it herself.”
I laughed, loudly enough to attract a few stares.
“You think?”
His grin dimmed a bit.
“She treated you so badly and I should have stood up for you.”
Memories of Emma saying the exact same thing came rushing back and I couldn’t help the anger that rose up.
“I don’t need anyone to stand up for me. I can take care of myself.”
Unconsciously, Lee’s hand rose to his cheek and it was his turn to laugh.
“Oh I know you can, but still, friends stand up for each other whether they need it or not, and I never did anything to help. I only made things worse.”
He paused.
“I don’t know what happened between her and Nick…I’m starting to think she’s been lying to me, but whether they hooked up or not, she should never have gone after him in the first place. That was just wrong.”
“Tell me something I don’t know” I muttered, but softened the words with a slight smile at the look of hurt that crossed his face.
“Look, I get that you’re just trying to mend fences, but until she comes up to me and apologises for everything she’s done, I’m not going to forgive her” I said bluntly.
He shrugged slightly.
“I know, I just thought I’d try anyway.”
“Well, if that’s all” I said awkwardly, “I really have to get going.”

I half-turned away from him, wishing for nothing more than to be home in Nick’s arms. I felt so tired all of a sudden.
Lee’s hand caught mine, and this time he didn’t let go. I frowned down at the sight of my hand in both of his, and was just about to pull away when he spoke again.
“Please don’t go” he pleaded.
“At least, not yet” he corrected quickly.
He squeezed my hand gently and as much as I wished he wasn’t touching me, I stood still and waited for him to say his piece.
“The truth is I’ve been hoping to talk to you for a while now. I don’t think I can ever apologise enough for how I acted. I burned a lot of bridges, and I couldn’t tell you how much I regret my actions now. I was way out of line, and I apologise for everything I said, for the things I did, and most of all for scaring you. I deserved so much more than that slap you gave me…though that was pretty impressive.”
I felt like I should say something, but the words wouldn’t come. I watched instead; watched as every emotion crossed his face; the hurt, the guilt, the hope, the self-recrimination. I saw it all and I knew he was being sincere. It went a long way to melting the ice around parts of my heart I hadn’t even known existed.

We’d been friends once, and it meant a lot that he was here apologising, even as I realised that as much as we might wish we could go back, sometimes it just wasn’t possible. I could forgive, but I could never forget.
He smiled sadly at me, his eyes lit with the knowledge even as it crossed my mind. In that moment we were closer than we had been for a long time, and would ever be again.
His deep voice fell to little more than a whisper and I was surprised I was able to hear him over the busy sounds of the city all around us.
“It would mean so much to me if you would forgive me.”
He moved closer and this time I didn’t step back.
“I know we can never be friends again but it would be enough for me to know that you don’t hate me.”
Once more, my eyes dropped to my hand held tightly in his own.
“I don’t hate you” I whispered, my words ringing with absolute truth and I’m not sure who I shocked more; him or myself.
His smile was filled with so much happiness I couldn’t help but return it.
“I appreciate you apologising, and trust me when I say I never thought I’d be able to forgive you, but here we are.”
He raised my hand to his lips and pressed a chaste kiss to my palm before letting me go.
“Thank you…so much.”
I stepped away from him.
“You’re welcome.”
“I guess I’ll see you around, then.”
I nodded, though we both knew that other than perhaps acknowledging each other if we crossed paths around campus, we wouldn’t talk again.

With a small wave, he disappeared back inside, and I turned towards home. I felt, lighter somehow as I walked and I soon pushed thoughts of Natalie and Lee from my mind, trying to make up for lost time with my Frappuccino and ultimately giving myself epic brain freeze.
Even that couldn’t diminish my good mood though. With Nick waiting for me at home and my brother and his girlfriend on the way, I didn’t think anything could.