The Movies Make It Look Easy

Epilogue

The sound of conversation and laughter slowly died down when I stood up. I gripped my glass in one hand, my palm slightly sweaty as I reached down with to adjust the beautifully simple pale gold dress Katie had chosen for her bridesmaids.
My heartbeat seemed to triple in pace as hundreds of eyes turned to look at me. Why had I thought this was a good idea?
I felt a hand slip into mine and squeeze once before letting go again, and I sent Nick a grateful smile. I focused on the clink of silver hitting glass and forced myself not to roll my eyes at my dad’s grinning face. He was so cheesy sometimes.
My gaze swept the room, taking in the crowd while simultaneously not letting myself focus on anyone’s face in particular. It would only make me more nervous than I already was. Now wasn’t the time to remember that I disliked being the centre of attention.

“Hi everyone” I started. “I know we’ve already done the speeches, and I know it’s a bit unusual for the sister of the groom to step forward but just bear with me – I swear you can go back to drinking in just a minute.”
I paused as a wave of laughter ran through the crowd, a few of the guests raising their glasses in agreement.
I turned slightly to where Adrian sat with his arm wrapped around Katie’s shoulders. She smiled at me encouragingly but Adrian only looked faintly puzzled. I hadn’t told him I was going to speak.
“As I’m sure you all know, Adrian’s best man couldn’t be here tonight, so I decided I would say a few words in his stead.”

The room seemed to still and I felt the gazes of everyone in the room move around the top table; the conspicuous absence of one person on everybody’s mind. There was a reason why Katie’s maid of honour had walked down the aisle alone earlier, and I wasn’t ashamed to admit I’d cried when Adrian told me that if Ryan couldn’t be his best man, he didn’t want one.
Beside the newlyweds I saw my mother wiping tears from her eyes and I felt my hand clench my glass just a bit tighter.
Taking a deep breath, I continued my speech, letting the words flow out of their own accord, trusting I’d say the right thing.
“I never wanted a sister. Growing up, I was perfectly happy with my two brothers and I was never angry with my parents for not giving me a sister – as if that was in their control.”
I nodded towards my parents, smiling slightly, glad to see them laughing – even through the tears.
“In fact I was always secretly glad when I heard my friends complaining endlessly about their sisters stealing their clothes and makeup, and just generally being a nuisance.”
I raised my eyebrow slightly at Adrian. “Make no mistake, having brothers is no walk in the park, but for the most part I was perfectly happy.”
Adrian winked at me as he leaned over to kiss Katie on the cheek. I took a deep breath, willing myself to continue.

“And then Katie came along, and things began to change” I said into the near silence and I had to push aside the awkward feeling that rose as a result of having the complete attention of so many people.
“Of my two brothers, Adrian has always been the shy one. Our whole lives it was Ryan who wanted to go off and do crazy things. He was the one who our parents despaired over, the one we presumed would never settle down.”
I focused on Adrian and it was as if we were the only two people in the room. I was speaking only to him; like he was the only one who could understand. And in a way he was; he was the only other person in the world who knew what it was like to have Ryan as a brother; and all the ups and downs that entailed.
“Ryan was always fearless in a way that I don’t think either Adrian or I will ever understand. But that’s okay; we all have our parts to play.”
I watched the emotions play across my brother’s face and I fought to keep the quiver out of my voice.
“When Adrian first met Katie, Ryan teased him mercilessly, and I’ll admit I joined in. The fact that he would blush at the mere mention of her name only made it more fun for us. The first time he brought her home, I think we all saw how special she was and how much she meant to my brother.”
I looked to Katie and smiled slightly. “I’m sorry if we made you feel awkward in any way, Katie, I know it can be difficult for other people the first time they meet our family. It can be hard to find a place within another’s family unit, but you managed it.”
I reached out and squeezed Nick’s shoulder slightly and felt my smile widen when I noticed the fond looks my mother sent his way. She loved him like a son and I knew it meant so much to him to be accepted into our family, to be loved unconditionally.
“For the first time, the thought of having a sister didn’t seem so bad.”

Once more I let myself look out on the crowd, this time actually seeing the people sitting there; friends and family alike, before settling once more on Katie.
“My brother is truly an amazing person, and you couldn’t ask for a better person to have on your side, but somehow you manage to make him an even better person than he already was. You bring out sides of him that nobody else has ever managed; even his family, who have known him his whole life – and for that I thank you. I believe that everybody deserves the kind of happiness you have brought Adrian, and he you, and I can only hope that it will last you a lifetime.”
I felt tears prick at my eyes. “I just wish that Ryan could have been here today, making a toast that would have both embarrassed you and made you laugh, and taking his rightful place beside you at the altar as you waited for your bride. I know he would have been so proud.”
I paused; a pathetic attempt to collect myself. Talking about Ryan always made me emotional, but here at Adrian’s wedding – a day that he should have been a part of – it felt like I’d just rubbed salt into an open wound; a gaping hole that just wouldn’t close.

“Finally” I said, raising my glass in a toast. “To you, my brother and sister, I wish all the happiness in the world. I hope that together you achieve every goal and dream you’ve ever wished for, and more. I know that you’ll have your own personal guardian angel watching out for you every step of the way.”
I felt one tear spill over, tracing a path down my cheek, and I hastily wiped it away as I raised my glass to my lips with a shaky hand.
One by one, others followed suit and I couldn’t help the small part of me that regretted the slightly sombre air my speech had cast over the festivities. Adrian rose from his seat; his drink untouched, and stepped over to me, drawing me into a tight hug.
“Thank you…just, thank you” he whispered in my ear, his voice heartbreakingly ragged with unshed tears.
I just buried my head further into his neck, my own tears beginning to soak into the stiff collar of his shirt. All around us I heard conversation starting up again, attention quietly being diverted from us. Privacy in a roomful of people.
Eventually I pushed him away. “Go and spend time with your wife” I said with a brightness that I didn’t quite feel, both of us pretending that we hadn’t just been crying. With one last look, he nodded and walked back to his seat.

I slowly sat back down beside Nick, ignoring the way my parents watched me. I couldn’t bear to look up and see the emotion in their eyes. I might just break down. Instead I focused on the tissue Nick held out. I smiled; surprised he’d thought to come prepared. I sure hadn’t. I dabbed at my face, hoping my mascara was waterproof.
“Here” he offered, taking the tissue from me and wiping under my eyes and down my cheeks in slow, tender strokes.
I stayed still and let him, enjoying the feeling of being taken care of as I allowed my eyes to fall shut. When the silence continued to stretch, I opened them again, meeting his brown gaze; the green and gold flecks seeming to glow in the dim lighting.
“Sorry, I probably look like a mess” I said quietly, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
He drew his fingers lightly over cheeks I knew were blushing, his expression uncharacteristically serious.
“You don’t look like a mess. You’re the most beautiful person in this room.” His warm whisper resonated through me and I felt my mouth go dry as words seemed to desert me.
“You know that honour is supposed to go to the bride” Was all I could think to say.
His mouth quirked in a small smile and I longed to reach out and trace the contours of his mouth. “You know I’m more than a little biased.”
I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”
I unwillingly turned my attention back to the others at our table, leaning gratefully into the arm Nick slipped around me.

Later, after the bride and groom had left, and after both the youngest and oldest of the guests had been taken home, I finally let myself be pulled into Nick’s arms in the centre of the dance floor. We’d barely had a moment alone together, both of us being pulled in different directions to talk to and dance with family members and friends alike.
Now, I didn’t care how late it was or how many people had left, I was going to enjoy a dance with my boyfriend. I wrapped my arms around his neck, his slipping around my waist, keeping us anchored together as everyone and everything else slipped away. For a long time we just moved together, my head against his shoulder.
“I believe this is our first proper slow-dance, Mr King” I finally said randomly, trying to remember if we’d ever danced together somewhere other than at a club before. Nothing immediately sprang to mind. Of course, I wasn’t counting that one time when we weren’t together. There had been too much heartbreak involved.
He grinned, pulling me ever closer. “Is it sufficiently romantic?”
I rolled my eyes; “just perfect.”
He leaned down to kiss me and I let myself sink into him, holding back a sigh of contentment.

When he pulled away, I glanced up and was surprised to see that my parents had joined us on the dance floor, looking as wrapped up in each other as Nick and I were. The sight of two people still so in love after three decades of marriage and after going through so much, was heart-warming. It was everything people hoped for when they fell in love and started to think about marriage.
I turned my attention back to Nick, noticing that he hadn’t looked away from me.
“What are you thinking, Sweetheart?” He whispered.
“Marriage” I answered truthfully. “My parents are some of the lucky ones. They found someone that they truly want to spend the rest of their lives with. I’m not saying it’s been easy, but they’ve managed to stick together through everything. And now Adrian and Katie are married…I don’t know what will happen in the future, but I’m sure they’ll make it. They love each other too much to let go.”

I fell silent, glancing over once more to see my mother’s face tucked against my father’s chest as he held her like she was the most precious thing in the world. A second later Nick turned us until I could no longer see my parents, my attention reverting completely and utterly to him.
One side of his mouth turned up in a secret half-smile as he gazed down at me. “Maybe we’ll be next. Maybe us, here, is just practice for our own wedding.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Bosco. Nobody’s getting me down the aisle anytime soon.”
“Oh, I know” he laughed.
I was almost completely sure he’d been joking, but there was something in his gaze – something so serious it left me feeling mildly terrified. For a moment it was like I saw the true depths of his love and I found myself gulping silently.
“Don’t you think you’re a bit young to be thinking about marriage?” I smiled jokingly, but part of me was curious all the same.
He shrugged. “Perhaps.”
I frowned. “I sense a ‘but’ coming…”
He laughed lightly. “I’m not an idiot. I know a good thing when I see it. I’d be a fool to let it go.”
I grinned. “I hope that wasn’t a proposal.”
He leaned down to kiss me. “No it wasn’t, but maybe someday.”
“Maybe someday” I echoed, content that we were on the same page; hopeful but realistic.
I loved him, he loved me, and for now we couldn’t ask for more than that.

We stayed like that for a long time, after my parents had left, after the room fell silent.
We stayed pressed together, swaying to music only we could hear, until the sun rose and finally, it was time to go home.

The End.