All I Wanted Was You...

I rested my head on the steering wheel and let out a groan. Another long day at school, rushing to work, being bullied around there, just to come home and see my brother’s car in my driveway, along with all of his friends. It’s times like these that I seriously consider changing my locks. I grabbed all my books and my purse and got out of the car. Making my way up to the door, I heard loud music playing inside and rolled my eyes. Opening the door, I was met with music and the smell of booze. I walked into the living room to see Jimmy and Zack wrestling and knocking over just about everything in their path., the others cheering them on.

“It’s so nice to know that I live in a fucking zoo!” I yelled over the music, causing them to all look at me.

“Tyler! My favorite sister!” my brother exclaimed and ran up to me, engulfing me in a bone crushing hug.

“Johnny, I’m your only sister.” I pointed out.

“Which just makes you even more of my favorite!” he grinned.

I rolled my eyes and turned my attention to the two idiots still going at it on the floor. “Oi!” I yelled, kicking Zacky in the leg. “You two fuckers get to clean up everything you’ve knocked over, got it?”

“Yes ma’am!” Jimmy smiled, sitting on Zacky’s chest. “So how was your day, gorgeous?”

“Shitty, just like every other day.” I said, setting my stuff on the table. “Angela had me running a shitload of stupid, pointless errands because her assistant was sick, then she got pissed at me cuz my article wasn’t done. I’m so fucking fed up with her shit.” I plopped down on the couch next to Brian. “Then, to top it all off, she gave the feature to that little ass kisser, Olivia.”

“You look like you could use one of these.” Matt said, sitting next to me and handing me a beer.

“You know me so well, Matty.” I smiled, accepting the cold beverage.

“Of course I do! I’m your bestest friend!” he smiled back, the dimples appearing on his beautiful face.

‘Yeah, and unfortunately that’s all I’ll ever be to you…’ “Yup! That you are!”

“Oh Ty, I almost forgot,” Brian said, handing me an envelope. “This was on your porch earlier.”

The envelope was black with Tyler across the front in elegant letters. I set my beer down and opened it curiously. Inside was a folded piece of black paper with more elegant silver writing.

Tyler,
When I look into your eyes, I feel like I am drowning in a pool of the most beautiful, clear blue water. You leave me breathless.
~Your secret admirer

“Whoa, someone’s got the hots for Ty! And just in time for Vday on Sunday!” Brian laughed. I blushed and put the letter back in the envelope. “Any idea who it could be?”

I shook my head. “No clue. I’m just really hoping it’s not Chad.” I shuddered.

“It had better in the fuck not be Chad. If that fucker comes within 100 feet of you I’ll tear his fucking ass apart!” Johnny growled.

“Oooh, little man so vicious! You’re turning me on!” Jimmy purred, lunging at my twin.

“Jesus fuck Rev! Get the hell off me!” Johnny yelled from beneath him. “For such a skinny guy you sure weigh a lot!”

Jimmy gasped. “Are you calling me fat?!”

“Yes, I’m calling you enormous!”

Jimmy burst into fake sobs and ran over to me, sitting on my lap. “Tyler, your twin was mean to me!”

“Awww, it’s ok Jimmy Bean, I still love you and I’m the cooler one anyway.”

“Hey!” Johnny said.

“What? It’s true. Right guys?” I smiled as all the guys, except Johnny, agreed.

“You guys suck.” He mumbled, crossing his arms.

The rest of the night progressed in much the same way; drinking, picking on each other, and them teasing me about the note I had received.

“Thank god it’s Friday.” I said, leaning my head on Matt’s huge shoulder and closing my eyes. This is how it always went – I’m too much of a chicken to make any kind of move when I’m sober, but once I start drinking, I’m slightly more courageous. The term “Liquid Courage” applies very well to me.

He put his arm around me and rested it on my hip, his thumb tracing circles on the little bit of flesh that was exposed. “Long week?” he asked, resting his head on top of mine. To anyone else, it would look like we were a couple, but unfortunately, we’re just ‘best friends’.

“You have no idea. I had a huge test in psychology, two essays due in behavioral science, an Italian paper, and then trying to finish my article for the magazine to top it all off.”

“Damn girl, you’re gonna wear yourself out before you even hit 23!” he chuckled.

“Yeah, well we can’t all just sit there and play music all day.” I teased.

“You could though. I keep telling you to come play piano for us on tour! But nooooo, you’d rather be some fancy bio-something or another and write for some shitty fashion magazine in hops of getting discovered by Rolling Stone.”

“Biopsychologist. And Vogue isn’t exactly shitty.” I pointed out.

“Okay, okay, so you have your shit together. But what about relationships?”

“Ugh, what about them? You’ve seen how unlucky I am when it comes to guys. None of them can keep up with me, or they’re too threatened by my independence. Just look at what happened with Chad; we were together for 4 years and he was cheating on me for half of our relationship, then he left me for the other chick cuz he knocked her up. Then he had the nerve to try and get back with me and have both of us.”

“He was a super douche though, I told you that from the beginning. But what about the note? Aren’t you curious as to who sent it?” he asked.

“Well of course I am. I’m just scared that it’s Chad trying to use the fact that Valentine’s Day is in 2 days to convince me to get back together with him.”

“For some reason I kind of doubt it’s him. You haven’t heard from him in like 8 months, I think he’s finally gotten the message. Is there anyone else you can think of?”

’I know who I want it to be…’ “Not really. I mean, some of the guys from school hit on me and stuff but none of them know where I live.”

“Yeah, that’s true. But it’s pretty easy to find that out now a days. Or he could have followed you home one day.”

“Yeah, that’s true, I didn’t think about that. I dunno, I guess we’ll just see if anything comes of this or not.”

“Just be careful, okay?” he asked, kissing my forehead and making the butterflies in my stomach go crazy.

“Always.” I smiled.

I woke up around eleven the next morning and walked out of my room to see Matt, Brian and Johnny still sleeping, while Zacky watched tv. “Where’s Jimmy Bean?” I asked.

“He had to go see Leanna for something.” He shrugged.

“Okay then. Waffles?” I asked.

“Are you asking if I want some, or being your normal self and slipping the word ‘waffles’ into random conversation?” he asked, eyeing me skeptically.

I laughed. “I was going to make some.”

“Well then in that case, hell yeah!” he smiled.

I went into the kitchen, got out all the ingredients, and started making waffles. About ten minutes later I felt arms go around my waist and a chin rest on my shoulder. “You know, this is my favorite place to wake up hung over.” Brian said. “You take such good care of us.”

“Well I kind of have to. You guys are the only friends Johnny has. If something were to happen to you he’d have no one left but me, which means I’d have no one to pawn him off on anymore and I’d actually have to deal with him!”

“Wow, I love you too Ty.” Johnny grumbled as he entered the kitchen. “I feel the same about you and your best friend Alex. Why do you think I’m so nice to her?”

“Besides the fact that you’re helplessly in love with her?” I stuck my tongue out at him and set a heaping plate of waffles on the table. I heard my front door open and Jimmy’s voice carry into the kitchen. “Tyler, you got another one! Ooh, do I smell food?” he asked, coming in and handing me another black envelope.

“What does this one say?” Zacky asked as he and Matt entered the kitchen.

”’Your smile makes my heart beat faster. I would crawl to the ends of the Earth and back to keep that breathtaking smile on your gorgeous face.’” Brian read aloud over my shoulder. “Aww! He’s so sweet!”

“Shut up.” I blushed.

“I’m really curious as to who this guy is.” Zacky said, shoving more food into his mouth.

“You’re not the only one.” I laughed. “I have no idea who it could be!”

“Dunno sis. Just promise you’ll be careful ok?” Johnny said as he put his plate in the sink.
“Of course I will Christ.”

After breakfast, we all got ready and went down to the beach. Leanna, Alex and Gena all met us there. Seeing my brother flirting with my best friend always made me laugh because she never believed me when I told her he liked her. She just thought he was being really nice.
I still couldn’t help but feel bad for Matt and Brian though, especially with Valentine’s Day being tomorrow. The day Val and Michelle both told their respective fiancés that they were moving to Europe with the guys they had been seeing while Avenged was on tour, we were all shocked. Out of everyone, we figured they would be the ones that lasted. I can’t say that part of me wasn’t very excited that Matt was no longer taken, but watching the pain he had to endure was torture.

But, being the best friend that I am, I was there with him through it all. Every time he would get so drunk that he would just sit on the ground, surrounded by pictures of them, and cry. Every time he would punch holes in the walls of his house from anger. Every time he’d be in the car and their song, Can’t Stop Loving You by Van Halen would come on and he would have to pull over to the side of the road and break down crying. I was the one he called through it all. I was his shoulder to cry on. I was the only one he let see him in that deep, dark hole he’d fallen into.

The girls left about a year and a half ago and it’s only been for about the past 4 months that I can see the old Matt finally coming back. Three weeks ago we both went in to get a tattoo together. The quote was really appropriate for the both of us: “It’s Only As Dark As You Make It”.

I can’t say that he hasn’t been there for me too though. After I found out about Chad , I was a wreck. There were times when I wouldn’t get out of bed for an entire week. I lost about 35 pounds from a lack of eating, rendering me clinically anorexic. Everyone tried to get me back to normal but nothing was working. Finally they all gave up and let me deal with it on my own. Everyone but Matt. He was the one who would pick me up and physically put me in the shower, dress me and force me to go to the beach, just to get out of the house. He was the one who walked in on me starting to slit my wrists, took the razor from my hands, and cleaned up the wounds without saying a word. He didn’t have to. The sadness and disappointment in his eyes spoke louder than any words he could have said. It was at that point that I realized my life wasn’t over. That as hurt and betrayed as I was, my brother and friends would be even more hurt if I did the selfish thing and ended my life over some scumbag that didn’t even deserve my time.

Needless to say the crush I’d had on Matt since Johnny first became friends with Matty Baker, developed into something stronger. I know he’ll never see me the same way, but it’s a hope I hold onto.

“Earth to Ty, are you still here with us?” Brian asked, waving a hand in front of my face.

A wide grin made its way onto my face and I jumped onto his back. “Of course I am! Now let’s play some football!”

The next morning I was awoken by a loud pounding on my front door. “Ugh I’m coming!” I groaned loudly. I wrenched the door open, irritated. “What?!” I snapped, only to find no one was at the door. I was about to slam it shut when I noticed a large black box on my welcome mat. I picked it up and brought it inside, sitting on the couch and taking the lid off the box. There was another envelope.

’Tyler,
I know you are curious as to my identity, so tonight I shall reveal myself. Please accept this gift and meet me at 7 o’clock at Rosario’s Café. And please, don’t be nervous, you know me, probably better than I know myself. I hope to see you tonight.'

I set the note down and returned to the contents of the box. My jaw dropped as I pulled out a beautiful black dress with silver studs on the top. Also in the box were black strappy stilettos with studs and jewelry box. I opened the little box to see beautiful diamond earrings and a diamond star necklace. Looking at the clock I realized I had a little over 8 hours to get ready. I decided a spa treatment was in order so I grabbed my purse and headed out.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the door to Rosario’s. Instead of being greeted by the host, there was a trail of black rose petals leading to where I was supposed to go. The restaurant was completely empty and only one table was set, with candles and rose petals on it. I walked over and sat down, waiting for my mystery man to join me.

About a minute later, a large hand was placed on my shoulder, startling me slightly. Standing there in a tux was “Brian?” I asked, shocked.

He just laughed. “Surprised?” All I could do was nod. “Good. But it wasn’t me who set this up. I’m just here to bring you out some champagne. Your man will be out in a second.” He said as he poured some champagne into my glass, winked and walked away.

“Care for some dinner?” another voice asked.

“Zacky? I’m so confused.”

“Well that doesn’t take much, love.” He grinned. “You look beautiful, he’ll be pleased.” He said, setting down a plate of fettuccini alfredo with shrimp, my absolute favorite meal. Without another word, he walked away.

“Aww, would you look at my little girl! She’s so grown up!” Jimmy’s distinct voice rang out as he came over and set down a plate with a steak and potato on the opposite side of me.

“Jimmy Bean, what’s going on?” I whined impatiently.

“You’ll find out soon babydoll.” He said before retreating. Another couple of minutes passed and I was growing even more nervous.

“Wow,” a deep voice said from beside me. “Even after all these years, you can still take my breath away with your beauty.”

My heart leapt into my throat as I looked up to see Matt standing there holding a beautiful bouquet of black roses. I stood up, blushing. “How did you… I was with you when all the letters came.” I said, confused.

The dimples in his cheeks deepened as his smile grew. “Not really. The first one I brought with me and gave to Brian. Yesterday, Jimmy had that one but left it at his house so you didn’t stumble across it, and this morning, Leanna dropped the dress off.”

“I’m – I don’t even know what to say.” I stuttered.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Tyler.” He said as he handed me the roses. I accepted them and he motioned for me to sit as he took his place across from me. “So I can tell by the look on your face that I’m not who you were expecting.” He said, a little disappointed.

“Hoping, yes. Expecting, no.” I blushed, causing him to smile.

“Really?” he asked. I just nodded shyly. “You know, I’ve always thought you were beautiful and a part of me has always wanted to be with you, but I had Val. Then when she left, I felt like my world had ended. I didn’t think I had anything left to live for, even the guys. I was too stubborn and proud to ask anyone for help like Brian did.

“Do you remember that night you came to check on me because no one had heard from me all day? That night you found me drunk on the floor with all the pictures surrounding me?” I nodded. “I was planning to end my life that night, Tyler. I knew the guys loved me, but I just didn’t care. I was so hurt that I felt like my heart would never heal. Then you came into my room and just sat there holding me, and I realized that I couldn’t do that to everyone, that I was stronger than that. You were the only one I felt comfortable seeing me like that, so broken and vulnerable. At first I didn’t notice it, but as a little bit of time went on, I realized that you were slowly picking up the pieces of my heart and putting them back together. Not only that, but you left little signatures on the pieces, and they now belong to you.

“At first the thought of falling in love again so quickly scared the hell out of me. But then I realized – You’re Tyler Ashlee Seward. If there was anyone that I could trust with my heart, it was you. That’s why when Chad hurt you like that, I went crazy. I wanted nothing more than to just kill him. But I knew that wouldn’t help. So I decided that I would do my absolute best to be there for you, just like you were there for me. Seeing you go through the same pain I did fucking killed me. I knew how bad it hurt and how little I could really do to ease that pain. That’s why when I walked in on you about to end your life, I couldn’t say anything. Not only because anything I said would be completely hypocritical, but also because the thought of losing you scared the fuck out of me way more than it should have. It was at that point that I knew I was in love with you and there was no turning back.” His confessions left me with tears streaming down my face and my heart beating a million miles an hour. “Please don’t cry, beautiful. I watched you cry for so long and it just tears me apart.” He pleaded as he stood up and walked over to me, kneeling down and wiping my tears away with his thumbs.

“Matt, I…” I paused to take a deep breath. “Ever since Johnny started hanging out with Matty Baker and I first saw you, I had an instant crush on you.” I said, causing him to smile. “But you were already with Val and that was such a serious thing that I knew better than to really hold out for anything. Even when I got with Chad, and though I loved him with everything I had, there was always a small part of my heart that would jump at the chance to be with you. When Val left, that little part of me celebrated, but the rest of me was so worried about you. Seeing you that way hurt me so bad that I would have convinced Val to come back if it meant you were happy again.

“When Chad left me, I broke. I completely fucking fell apart. I know the guys tried to help but after a while they decided I needed space. Everyone but you. You knew how much it means to have that one person you can rely on to be there no matter what. Even though you were still in pain, you put me before yourself and took care of me. That day I tried to kill myself? I was thinking that an amazing guy like you was so far out of my league, and the best I would ever get was someone like Chad. Hell, even you, the most amazing person I know, went through the pain and heartache, so what hope was there for me? But there was hope. You saved me. My own personal Superman.” I smiled at him. “You did the same for me, Matt. You found all the pieces of my heart and somehow managed to put them back together. The only thing is; you still have it in your hands. You haven’t given me my heart back yet, and I’m not sure if I want you to. I feel like it’s safe with you, like you won’t let anything happen to it.”

“I won’t, I promise. I’ll take care of it as long as you let me.” I nodded and noticed the tear that rolled down his cheek. I brought my hand up and wiped it away. “So before we eat this bomb ass food that Zacky’s taken all day to cook, I have to ask; Tyler, will you be my girlfriend?”

I looked into his beautiful hazel eyes and instead of answering him verbally, I leaned forward and placed a small kiss on his lips. The second our lips touched, I felt an electricity that I had never experienced. I pulled back and rested my forehead against his. “Of course.”

“You have no idea how fucking happy you just made me.” He grinned.

“Not nearly as happy as you make me.”

He returned to his seat and we started to eat, stealing glances at each other shyly. We made random small talk but most of the meal was spent in silence. “I hope you’re not too full for dessert!” my brother’s voice rang out. I looked over to see him carrying two slices of delicious-looking cheesecake.

“Oh my god, that looks amazing!” I said.

“Oh, it is. I tried some. Got my hand slapped by Zack, but it was worth it.” Johnny said, pointing to the little piece missing from my slice. I just laughed and shook my head. “Matt, do you mind if I borrow my sister for a second?” Matt just nodded and Johnny led me a little way away from the table. “So before you freak out about it; Yes, I know. Yes, I approve. And yes, me and all the guys have given him the customary ‘you break her heart, we break your legs’ speech. So tonight just relax and enjoy yourself ok? And give the poor guy a chance. He’s been planning this for a long time.” My brother smiled.

“Thank you so much, Johnny!” I squealed and hugged him.

“You’re welcome Ty. Happy Valentine’s Day. Now go get your man!”

“Everything good?” Matt asked as I sat back down at the table. I just smiled and nodded. Everything’s perfect….