Blazing Memories

(Natsume's POV)

Standing there, in that church, wearing a stiff tux, I felt memories running through my head at the speed of light, blinding me. There were so many of them, it was actually difficult to tell one from the other as they chaotically appeared.

I remembered the day I had first met Mikan at the Academy, remembered how she had irritated me because, while most of us were here against our wil, she had shown up practically begging to get accept. At that point, I was convinced that she was a total idiot and a royal waste of time. Against my will and better judgment, I also remember slowly falling in love with her over time and facing countless problems and trials, always just barely making it out with the help of all of our friends. But I wasn't the only one who fell for Mikan's irresistible innocent charm, no, my best friend since childhood, the only other person who truly understood me, Ruka, fell for her as well. Out of respect for him, the only person who never deserted me, I kept silent about my feelings for Mikan for a long time, simply waiting to see how things would play out.

Now, two years after graduating from Alice Academy, I felt extreme regret for all of these unspoken feelings. Mikan was dressed in a white gown that was extremely elegant and suited her innocent and bubbly personality. She was getting married today, just weeks after her 20th birthday. And her marriage was definitely not to me, despite my heartfelt feelings. No, she was getting married to Ruka, the only one who had truly captured her heart. All of my fooling around and joking with her was not enough to win her over. The irony of it all is that Ruka asked me to be his best man, without realizing just how painful that was sure to be for me, and how bad of an impact it was likely to have on my mental sanity.

Although these memories and thoughts agitated me, they weren't what set me off. Even through the I-do's, I kept my head on straight and kept a fake but believable smile plastered on my face that I was certain no one here could see through. Except possibly Ruka, but he, after all, had his attentions focused solely on the love of his life, and ironically of my life as well. But when Ruka and Mikan kissed after being declared husband and wife, something inside me finally bent to the pressure built up and snapped. My heart felt as though it was being ripped in two without any mercy. My breathing became rapid and my hands, now clenched in fists began to shake. My whole body had begun trembling, showing my inner turmoil. I needed to get out of there. Now.

As I darted for the door, I heard the whispers of people, some angry for my rude and brash behavior, some concerned that something had gone wrong, and others simply at a loss for words altogether. Let them talk, I thought, nothing they say can affect me at this point. All I cared about was getting out of that joyful church filled with smiles and flowers before I lost control and my alice burnt all it to the ground, reduced to nothing more than ashes.

Outside, in the serene garden, I felt some relief and was able to breathe for the first time in what felt like years. Gazing out at the flowers in shades of reds and blues, I felt the tension begin to release and the shaking subside. Nature had always had a strange calming effect on me, whether that was because of all the time I had spent with Ruka, whose alice was technically nature oriented, or just a natural instinct, I didn't know for sure. I removed the rose from the lapel of my tux and held it in my hand, slowly burning it's beauty petal by petal and watching as smoke slowly rose from it, carrying the light sickeningly sweet scent along with it. My crimson eyes burned, reflecting the flame rising within my heart and the now flaming flower.

"Pretty," a light voice commented in an almost dream-like tone.

I turned around to face a young woman who appeared to be about eighteen, if not a little bit younger, surely still in high school but close to graduating. She had to be about eighteen and had short, auburn hair, stopping at her shoulders. She was about a head shorter than me, so around five foot four or five. When I looked at her eyes, though, I gasped slightly. One eye was piercing blue and the other was a sparkling grey and they held a strong determination as well as an understanding of what pain is, but also an understanding of rising above pain. Wise beyond her years was the only term I could think of that fit this stunning young woman.

"Yeah, pretty...," I said absentmindedly, not sure if I was talking about the flower or about the girl, for both were pretty in their own way. A small chuckle like a light bell chime came from the girl, making her sound almost as innocent as the bride here today. I cringed at the direction my thoughts were turning. Thinking of Mikan would not help matters.

"You seemed...uncomfortable in there. Are you alright, Mr. Fire Alice?" She asked, placing a hand on my shoulder, a gesture meant to be comforting but actually causing agitation due to the circumstances I was dealing with. Damn, I really was letting Mikan get to me, how unlike me.

"You know of alice?" I asked, surprised. Not many people knew of alice, strange abilities that randomly appear, usually during childhood that can range from something harmless to something deadly. Those who were born with such alices were practically coerced if not forced, to attend Alice Academy and train their skills until released.

"Yeah. Of course. I have an alice, after all. I'm graduating from Alice Academy after this school year. By the way, are you, by chance, the new teacher, Natsume Hyuuga-sensei? I've heard a lot about the infamous fire alice in the dangerous classification, and I couldn't help but wonder if that would be you, Mr." The girl said, getting straight to the point, something most people wouldn't do for fear that someone like me would be angry.

I nodded my head slowly, not really sure why my position at the school was relevant at the moment, then returned my attention back to the dead rose. What could I say, it wasn't part of my nature to be talkative. This alone was really stretching it.

"Oh! Sorry! How rude of me! You've told me your name, but I have yet to tell you mine! I am Freya. Freya Uzuka," Freya a said, bowing a little in apology. Normally, I would have had to keep myself from laughing at her formality, but today I was not in the mood for laughter.

"Hn. No problem. If you don't mind, I'll take my leave now. See you around Miss Uzuka," I said, ready to be rid of this place before I totally lost it. I made my way towards me small, but faithful little car that I had acquired shortly after my release from Alice Academy. I was longing for the comfort of home to wash away the painful memories this place was sure to bring back over and over again.

On my way out, I saw a happy, radiant and smiling Mikan, with a blush on her fair skin. Ruka's arm was around her waist, and a hand gently framing face and the two looked as though they were meant together. However, despite my wishes for Ruka and Mikan to be happy, I found myself wishing that it was I who had married Mikan today, rather than my best friend. I mentally slapped myself for the thought, some best friend I was. My heart still felt a stab of pain like a million tiny icicles as I walked away from them, accepting then and there that Mikan could never be mine and that I would have to work hard to keep my envy and jealousy for Ruka in check. My fire could not be allowed to burn those precious to me, regardless of the circumstances beyond my control.